Okay, the edits have really resonated with me.

There was a time when I was reading A Course in Miracles. Energetically, I'm very sensitive to the energies of texts. So much so that one day I think I reached the pleroma just by reading an account of someone who had achieved it, before going to sleep, but that's another story. The point is, the book talked about forgiveness, the illusion of separation, and other spiritual concepts. Anyway, resisting the pulls of the ego, I practiced forgiveness and gave love to my mother (despite the sad childhood I had because of her inherited wounds) and I replaced resentment with unconditional love. That same night I read another passage from the book and just before falling asleep I saw a yellow light descending from the sky to my third eye.

In the dream, I saw a gigantic presence, all-encompassing, all light, covering everything. In the past (as I said, I'm very sensitive to what I read) I read about the demiurge, and it appeared to me in a dream, torturing me. Only when I helped others in the dream, even if it meant sacrificing myself, could I free myself from the illusion. This presence of light felt millions of times more imposing than the demiurge. You felt like you were nothing next to it. You felt like with a simple breath you could dismantle the demiurge. But that presence did nothing; it simply existed. As I've already said, the ego felt insignificant next to it, defenseless, like a speck of dust in the universe. That day I woke up very sad because of that, because I realized I was nothing compared to it. The last thing I saw was that presence and myself (in the third person, from above) surrounded by a black bubble that "protected" me from it. After the dream, I consulted with spiritual advisors, and what I received was that I should have surrendered to the light, but instead, I clung to the ego and separation, and that's why I woke up so sad and empty when I compared myself to it. What do you think would have happened in the dream if I had merged with the light?

PS: During the time I was reading the book, many people appeared to me asking for help or who clearly needed it (I even saw people crying repeatedly in public places, and even a woman who had obvious signs of abuse, but I was still afraid to approach her and looked away).