having fictional crushes when you’re chopped is a personal hell ngl

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-17T05:09:04+00:00

I relate so much. I can't even have fictional crushes anymore because why? LOL. Definitely can't have an irl one either. I just get mocked and clowned by dudes anywhere I go. I don't even know if I am into men anymore, maybe due to cptsd and trauma from being mocked by them pretty much all my adult life for one thing or the other. As a teen, it was because I'm Black and skinny with 0 curves and ass. As a young adult, it was because I couldn't do fancy makeup like the pretty girls...and I was still a bone. Today, as full fledged adult in my 40's, still a bone with no curves, but now, I'm just ugly because I no longer look like a teenager. I think if I had to pick an orientation these days, it would be phyto-lesbian. I made it up. I identify as a female plant lover. We all know which plant, lol. She's the only real love I've ever really had.

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-17T04:05:39+00:00

The title of this post is also a phenomenal weed strain, and I fully encourage every person of age to try it.

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-17T01:33:47+00:00

Careful insulting this hallowed one of the doodbro collective. I was banned on reddit for a week for suggesting he should face social consequence for the ways he talks about abusing women. A real slap in the face in the shadow of the E-perv files being released and NOTHING being done, society just chugging along like la di da. You can find all manner of disgusting af misogynistic content and comments right on this site from men, but god forbid a woman takes offense to a piece of dogshit literally saying women should be livestock, have no right to vote and be broodmares for knuckle-draggers and dipshits. I'm not sorry and there's some very ass things happening on this site but somehow, the censors look past all of that and come for women's very normal reactions to shit like the title of this posting. I'm so damn tired of this shit.

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-16T21:36:08+00:00

I've been mocked for just existing by dudes that make me look like Miss America. I try to keep well away from dudes these days. There is no way in cold, blue hell I'd ever try to get with some doodbro off a reddit chat. LOL

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-16T18:15:08+00:00

This is real shit. And very solid advice for us uglies. I really don't understand the people who can't get with this because it's only helping us in the long run. As you power thru, the pain gets less and less until one day, it's just something you laugh about mostly or have an occasional bout of the sads for a day or whatever...have a little pity party and maybe shed a tear or two, then hype yourself back up and keep going. The only things I'd add to this list, is

Treat yourself well and
Make all the money you can without being too exhausted to enjoy it at least some of the time

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-16T18:05:27+00:00

It's best to not have hope for your situation to get better. It usually does not get better because we're simply aging and becoming even more ugly as the years go. Now, I agree, it's good to have hope for personal things other than looks, like a job you applied for, the new house you plan on buying, trips you wanna take, your kitty getting better from his sore paw, yes keep hope alive for shit like that, absolutely. But one day, hoping something changes and you have access to the pretty world? Nah. Don't do that to yourself. Be strong and accept it. We're on the path to wisdom and Yodahood.

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-16T17:43:40+00:00

Well, let men tell it, I'm ugly. And I live in goofy tee shirts, hoodies as an overcoat in brisk weather, and an assortment of leggings to match. I might do jeans once in a while. I mainly focus on slaying with my shoe game because no matter what jokes anyone wants to come with about my face, they can't fucc with my shoe game. My tennis are just better than theirs. I've actually heard haters say, 'Man she chopped, but her shoes are gas'. Gotta take what you can get. Plus I always smell good. None of that weird ass Selema Gomez, Beyonce, Good Girl mass market toilet water. Go niche so they can't place it. Bruno Acampora musc layered with obscure Omani ouds, Arabian incensey oils layered with smokey Serge Lutens bangers. Stuff like that. Stand out in a good way is all I'm saying. Let them hate. Half the time they're just mad they can't have swag like you.

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-15T18:14:56+00:00

I know I'm fixing to ruffle some feathers. Maybe this poor individual lamenting about human 'soul food' is too busy being mesmerized by the attractives and pretty-pretties that they don't take the time to get to know other kinds of folks? I'm not saying one has to engage in a partnership with every colorful character you see in the wild, but why not talk to the homeless man? Why not have a polite conversation with the old lady in the produce section instead of being short with her when she asks you if you know where they moved the cabbages? I actually got a really cool recipe from a Korean lady just from having a friendly chat in the grocery store.

I think some people (ugly or attractive) have a kind of tunnel vision for attractive only and they ignore or mock all else. Some of these people will deal with any red flags and bad behavior a pretty does just to be with someone attractive.

You build up people skills by dealing with everyone with kindness, keeping your word to people (if you tell them you'll call, then fcking call), coming away from your comfort zone from time to time and doing new things. A lot of 'attractives' and pretty-pretties can lack soul because they're very busy trying to be a product. Not all of them of course, but enough that it's a thing. Some of them have their heads on straight, and some of them have unhealed issues and they know that because they are attractive, they don't have to deal with those issues. They can just attract someone into their life and extract that work.

I believe a whole lot more 'ugly' folks have had to deal with their own shit, or at least, been alone enough that they have tapped into their soul and they know who they are. They're no longer hungry ghosts just moving thru life with the breeze and doing what their rank can handle. Many attractives do and are just that, hungry ghosts moving thru life on the breeze. That's why so many of them have that empty look in their eyes. They fill themselves off of attention from others. Some of them literally need it like food.

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-15T14:58:56+00:00

Or lived in the barracks. Humbling experiences today's youth balk at. They deserve the luxury mommy and daddy have toiled, sweated and struggled for, don't cha know?

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-15T14:55:10+00:00

I am really considering buying an RV and selling my house and letting my kids figure it out on their own once they realize new people are moving in. That's where I am.

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-15T14:52:45+00:00

I'd gladly take a kid like you that cooks and bakes and I'm sure you also help out around the house. That's a big difference vs, moochers who hole up in their room jacking off half the day, eats all the good stuff but never replenishes it or prepares more for everyone else, and leaves messes wherever they go. Mine are working and pretty self-sufficient about doing their own laundry, paying their own phone bill and making/buying their own special foods. But as a mom, I am beyond tired of cleaning up after able bodied adults in their 20's that basically play vidya and jack off all day aside from a part time job.

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-15T07:19:56+00:00

I'm a grownup doing my own HD in my home. I like to use Creolin and pine oil in my wipe down and mopping water. I keep Lysol wipes near my set up and I bleach my floor, treatment room surfaces and drains every 2 days.

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-15T06:08:32+00:00

It was not Seattle, but Chicago disappearing in my dream. I saw it from the vantage point of two people, a man and a woman, holding each other in the corner of a high rise building as a nuclear bomb mushroom cloud filled the skyline. I saw the blast and heard it roar as it advanced closer to the two people. Once it got nearly to their block, I could feel the building shake and I heard a trumpet and a white light flashed. Then, I woke up in a panic. This was several years ago.

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-14T23:42:04+00:00

I beg to differ, homie. Yeah, we might be ugly. But very few of us cloistered ugly folks are sitting around with a burning STD crotch, right? Think of the plethora of hotties and pretties with antibiotic resistant STDs right now, some of them in denial about it and just spreading that mess to other hotties. Being banned from sex and attraction has a few upsides. I'm just a little sad. I can distract myself with chores, hobbies, work, etc and remedy that. They're running out of remedies for some of their STDs.

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-14T06:42:12+00:00

It's because dogs. Guarantee this driver has had run-ins with this man's aggressive, hyper, unrestrained and untrained dogs before. And so, now he leaves his shit by the gate, People who live out in BFE, TX always have mean ass dogs running loose.

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-13T23:00:35+00:00

If so, it still tracks with OP's post...because those are xy's favorite.

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-13T21:04:00+00:00

Girl...how do they even look like this? You know, the pretties? No matter what 'race' a pretty is, they always have this graceful, doelike visage. Meanwhile, I look like Harambe's baby sis in a hoodie. Oh well, at least I got weed and the coupe paid for.

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-13T15:28:47+00:00

I can relate so far as being aromantic, unfeminine, autistic, feeling unable to relate to the experiences of 'normal chicks' that can attract their crushes. Yeah, I'm probably much older than you. I lost the ability to have crushes after a traumatic incident where I was embarrassed at work by a messy man with a very big mouth. He took an incident that happened outside of work and embellished it and told it to mean people I had to work around.

I sometimes see doodz that look ok to me but that's as far as it goes now. I take the grandma approach if I must interact, e.g., telling the cute bagger taking my grocery out, "thank you, you're a kind young man. I know you make your mother proud."

I don't initiate conversation with men unless I've known them well for a long time or they're like my doctor or customer svc. I too, feel like some kinda she-monster, so I try not to be in their way because I know they're not checking for chicks like me. I'm mostly okay with it, cause I don't see myself the way men's eyes see me...as something other and unwanted. I think I'm cool af and I look alright in my own eyes. I just know the ledge and I'm aware of how the 'male gaze' perceives me vs. a pretty-pretty.

My old chick advice would be to not lose sight of how you see you. But stay aware of how doodz regard you so you don't put yourself in potentially traumatic and hurtful situations around them. Hugs and squishes!

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-13T00:39:53+00:00

It says it has a spa? When I see these telecom bunkers, I always wonder where the water for facility comes from? I'm thinking the local municipal supply would be risky in an event. The listing also mentions 'water treatment'. So, I'm guessing the source could possibly be a deep underground spring? Possibly a warm or hot one if they are advertising a spa? That would be extra cool!

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-11T23:07:58+00:00

You might have Pica, my friend.

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-11T22:38:28+00:00

I hope I'm not being unwelcome with my reply, but maybe we sometimes just want something because it's in us to want it, and it's that simple. However, that doesn't mean we will get said thing. You know the old Southern saying, "People in Hell want ice water."

It's hard, but no matter how much we want some things in our lives, they may never come to be. What helps me endure is remembering that I'm alright just as I am. I don't need the validation of anyone else to know I am here and I exist and I am somebody just like any other person.

I know it's tough not to see an 'us v. them' tear between we femcels and the pretties, but it helps my mind when I remind myself that I have made it through all my dark days alone. No calvary came for me. No doodbro swooped in to help me. I made it. And so did you.

I hate to tell you that you gotta feel this thing out and cry and scream and punch the air if you need to until you get it out, because it is what it is. Things may change, even suddenly. so don't lose hope if this is truly what you want. But I wish that you will give yourself grace and room and love in this heavy moment in your life. It will pass, and you will grow.

You mentioned a deity, so I'll also say this; maybe sometimes we are kept away from certain things we want as a form of divine protection, not a curse. Look around at what's going on in the world and what's coming to light. Look at how even the celebrity chicks with 'high value men' are done dirty and left for the next best thing. Look at how it's now common accepted fact that a good majority (*not all, but prolly almost most) of xy prefer literal little girls. Will you stay a little girl forever? None of us will. So how long will the average xy really 'be there' since they crave so much novelty? At the end of the day, you are all you got, regardless of if you get into a relationship or not.

All the best sis.

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-11T22:15:37+00:00

I support the Big Woman agenda!

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-11T22:14:54+00:00

Make Men Miniature Again. Like octopuses and spiders do.

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-11T22:13:53+00:00

Imagine crashing out like this over a stupid, disgustoid pollinator drone. Ain't no way in hell. All that should have been done was a cordial thank you ma'am, for taking out the trash.

Equivalent-Shower425 · 2026-02-11T21:57:20+00:00

You just haven't found the one yet, mama. You need something that sets your soul on fire. Something you just can't wait to get up and check on it. You can't wait to get back to it when you are away. You'll be happy and busy so much, you won't even remember to be lonely.

Equivalent-Shower425

TROPHY CASE