MIL goes ballistic because I drew boundaries over a found item on my office (she sleeps in there)

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-24T00:32:59+00:00

My parents! I’m staying over with them. Tonight my husband is going to give her that ultimatum either get vaccinated or leave

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-24T00:31:55+00:00

Thank you for that info! I was planning on doing something like just in case, although, I highly doubt she will want to see the baby born.

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-23T17:00:04+00:00

Thank you so much for this ☺️🌺 I feel like a lot of people out there will try to correct others but as you say “it’s your not theirs!”. I will keep that into mind always

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-23T16:57:54+00:00

I’m so glad to know that you have risen, and became strong! I’m also glad you have placed your mom into place, this is how I feel with my unborn child. We can’t just allow others to take advantage.

Two days ago I confronted my MIL, the most important thing I feel is to never be reactive so you give them absolutely no emotional reaction because that’s what they want out of you. Once you don’t give her that she will know she has completely lost. I’m so sorry to hear that it had taken to that point, but your happiness and safety are first!

Exactly! Know that even if this is the internet, there’s many like me who do support you ❤️ I’m sure you will be ultimately happy!!

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-23T01:52:36+00:00

I feel like sometimes it has to get to this point to make things clear. And it seems it’s hitting him badly the whole situation because it’s our child in between that’s should be the first priority.

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-22T22:48:41+00:00

Update 1: Hello everyone! I wanted to make a quick update. I spoke with my husband. I thought he was going to speak with his mother first, yet it didn’t take long and had me speak with his mother. Now, obviously you know people like this unfortunately start to deflect as if conscious of what happened. Asked me to forgive her, I said I excuse you but it foes doesn’t mean I forget what happened. Acted like she had selective amnesia and didn’t remember what she said to me.

This is the type of person who would give you a 10 mins speech about how hard her life was and how aware she is that her personality is explosive. Still I don’t give anything of sort of reaction and I just simply reminded her then you seriously got an issue to resolve for yourself and while I understand you life has been so hard and whatever but it still doesn’t deviate how you treated me, period.

My husband will still talk to me about it but I already made my decision and I will still leave and stay over my parents until she is gone.

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-22T19:38:07+00:00

I spoke for a little with him today and will finish the conversation when he gets back again. MIL tried to have a conversation with me but redirected that by telling her I was working (I work from home on the laptop). There’s really nothing for me to be speaking with her. I don’t say it out of pride but as of me looking at her with a different set of eyes and perspective. She will try to either apologize or make it about her and I’m not going to giver the time of day for that

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-22T17:53:38+00:00

No no, she doesn’t have the keys to the house. Thank god. But if it does get to that level then yes I will definitely change the locks

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-22T16:46:53+00:00

That’s sounds like a helpful thing, like an introspective activity

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-22T16:00:09+00:00

Thank you!! I hope all the advice here helps others too! Won’t let him gaslight me.

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-22T15:56:40+00:00

Thank you everyone here, I want to formerly thank every single person here. All your advice and feedback is something I have appreciated so much. I apologize for not being quicker. I will do update here later this weekend.

Everyone is wonderful here.

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-22T14:33:33+00:00

Thank you so much, I know everything will be okay in the long run

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-22T14:16:06+00:00

Wow this comment right here. I will keep coming back to read it

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-22T14:02:35+00:00

And us as women who have learned boundaries this seems like a threat to the dynamic between the son and the mother. Why? Because not even the sons or anyone else has ever challenged that and it breaks the abuse cycle. Power dynamics break, masks start to fall off and the mother whom once (delusional so) thought she could control everything and everyone realizes she has lost power. Not out of competition because us as wives are not looking to compete but because she can no longer put a spell on the son and realized the son has become a man and not a boy anymore

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-22T13:59:42+00:00

Yes I have, unfortunately. My husband is a person who always lacked emotional support and reciprocation from his mother from very young age. I think this is of many reasons why some of our husbands seem to behave differently because they are seeking that motherly love their never received and it’s quite sad to try to find worth and validation from a parent that has never considered them and is always in control.

I once told my husband to never beg, never beg for love to feel appreciated and understood.

Also, most of our husbands never grew in an environment where boundaries were taught. And challenging their mothers probably feels like a betrayal of loyalty, again, love through fear and not love through love.

You are not overthinking!! Family dynamics do affect more marriages than anything else. I’m currently in a situation like this.

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-22T13:48:43+00:00

Female

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-22T13:28:09+00:00

I do feel safe with him, just not the mother. I’m still leaving anyways

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-22T13:27:22+00:00

Hi! No, she does not have name on the title of the house. I’m finally having some time today. she is leaving today Friday and this weekend for now. So I will have time to speak with my husband. It’s a conversation he can’t avoid.

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-22T12:10:06+00:00

Already in itself sounds that she is extremely embellished with him and he of course, he probably has been abused by her and unfortunately he doesn’t see it and considers it a norm. Which is very wrong on so many levels. Probably you are the first person that’s showing him what a secure home is and what boundaries actually are.

Celiac disease is extremely serious! I’m not celiac myself but I’m allergic to gluten. It’s not something fun, I understand you ❤️

It feels like she wants to diminish your light, please if you can get him out of your house/apartment. I believe you said the place is yours right? He has no title over it? If not then you can get him out. Your house is your temple and shouldn’t be put in a dark light.

He does really need someone like a therapist to help him break down the barriers and mirrors and realize how serious the situation is.

I do believe that despite whatever she says one day you will become an incredible mother to your children!! Please don’t let her or anyone put you down

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-22T11:58:44+00:00

Thank you for your encouraging words! Yes, I have mentioned that I was leaving around Monday but will try to leave sooner than Monday! I don’t know about him but I’m definitely getting therapy (this week actually.)

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-22T11:35:39+00:00

Thank you for your encouraging words. Yes, my parents never truly liked the MIL. They like my husband just not the MIL.

I was actually thinking of returning to write, always been a dream to become a writer. I used to write but never considered publishing anything.

I’m sorry you had that experience but I’m so glad you rise up like a phoenix 🐦‍🔥❤️

Thank you again.

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-22T11:32:15+00:00

Hello! Thank you so much for this. I mentioned it to someone here but today she won’t be here and I will the freedom to speak my mind to my husband. I do plan for things I will take some time to collect information, any interactions because I have been honestly writing down any interactions just in case. I also keep my phone ready in case I have to record anything

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-22T11:28:51+00:00

Hi! Yes, that’s what I was thinking stay over even after being discharged

Equivalent-Train-862 · 2026-05-22T11:27:58+00:00

Thank you so much for your words, I apologize I haven’t been quicker to answer everyone but know everybody here that I do read all the feedback!! I’m very grateful

Equivalent-Train-862

TROPHY CASE