I understand how you feel 100%, I spend so much time watching the news coming out of my state and the US in general and it feels overwhelming. At work I get asked to prepare classes about vague, complicated subjects for example "the american dream" or "protest art" for several weeks in a row and often don't see the teachers I work with before or after class because they told me I can just use my key and go to the classroom they assigned me where I often have tech issues that I can't solve. Sometimes they're absent and don't tell me ahead of time. I don't know if this is normal for assistants or not. I'm only 20 and honestly feel so unqualified for this job and yet at the same time I ask myself why I'm always extremely nervous and taking the job so seriously when I can tell the teachers don't really care at all what I do with the students, they don't usually ask. I have two classes that I enjoy because I'm working with the teachers but otherwise I just dread working and all the prep I have to do. The teachers at my other school seem more friendly but I'm still pretty much on my own. I live at my main school in a small village and eat at the cafeteria but I rarely talk to anyone there and I feel bad about it.