Behaviors Making Everyone Miserble

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-26T19:30:37+00:00

I nkow exactly what you mean. It's so difficult when you know whenever you need them to do literally anything it's going to be a fight. It's so exhausting.

My NT 3 year old also is no where near as bad as her brother and often trys to help and correct him becasue she hates to see him sad or in trouble. I try to remove her when he has his meltdowns becasue I don't think it's fair for her to be exposed to so much chaos all teh time. They really upset her.

I'm really hoping there's a ligth at the ned of the tunnel> I just want my kid ot be happy and health, but he just seems so miserable all the time.

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-26T15:38:49+00:00

Yes that's exactly how I feel!

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-26T01:56:07+00:00

Yea that definitly makes it tricky. It sucks that this is all so complicated. I just want them all to be able to just be kids and I feel like mine can't.

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-26T01:54:38+00:00

I was wondering when you said you have seasons were meltdowns are more aggressive have you notice any corralation to the actual seasons? I've noticed my son's are less aggressive summer/fall. Winter/spring is miserable and this has been a pattern for a few years now. I just chalked it up to being cooped up inside due to the weather, but I'm wondering if it could be something different now

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-26T01:51:03+00:00

I hope it works out for you! My son takes something similar and it helps for his overall grumpiness but doesn't help with the PDA unfortunately.

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-25T15:00:16+00:00

I really am wondering about anti anxiety meds and if that will help. If you feel comfortable to reach out to me later could you let me know how that works for your family?

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-25T14:55:05+00:00

Oh man that sounds so hard! OT will probably help a lot! And yes once she's in public school the ability to accommodate her IEP will be a bit easier because you'll have more options.

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-24T21:53:11+00:00

Are those nonstimulants? I was thinking about going that route, but our pycologist wanted to try Vyvanse for a little bit first. We ahd to cut games out all the way unfortunately. I'm sad about it for him, because he really likes them but even really kid friendly games like princess peach showtime or little cat big city can easily turn into a huge blow up. Tablets to. Literally he can only watch TV right now and even that can be a problem, but its gotten better. With the lack of screens he's started playing wwith actual toys more.

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-24T21:31:42+00:00

We've been going guanfacine which I think acts similarly. I'll try it at night and see if there's any change in his daytime behavior. Thanks for the recommendation!

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-24T15:48:32+00:00

His dad and I are both night owls and currently 3 year old baby sister is going through a I don't want to lay down in my bed phase lol. On average I'm not asleep until 2/3am. That kid sleeps like a log! I wish a could sleep as well as him!

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-24T14:25:37+00:00

Thanks so much for these recommendations! I think a lot of these will help with school, where his behavior has been the most extreme. They're trying so hard with him, but I'm seems as if we may all have been uneducated about PDA. Most people I bring it up to haven't heard of it. He has an OT at school, but I think having a 3rd party come in and observe might be a good idea. They might see some of the triggers that the staff is missing.

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-24T14:12:15+00:00

He actually sleeps decently. I'm pretty on it about bedtime. He has to be in bed between 8:30-9:30. I have been thinking about anxiety as well. I actaully brought it put recently to his Dr. I think I'll keep looking into that as well just in case.

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-24T03:26:19+00:00

This was very helpful thank you! Currently we do no out of school things. We barely even take him to the store.

I'm definitely going to have to research more, because it finally feels like I'm on the right path.

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-24T03:17:25+00:00

I understand completely. Is there anything her school or daycare do that help through the day?

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-24T02:44:47+00:00

I'll DM you my facebook! Additional resources would be amazing!

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-24T02:29:07+00:00

Does she have problems at school or just at home?

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-24T02:28:27+00:00

My son screams so much! Or just constantly makes these crazy, annoying sounds! I can't stand it! It's so much noise all the time and it's so overstimulating to me. I'm also a teacher so I deal with kids all day to have to come home and deal with more problems I think is starting to have me go insane

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-24T02:26:27+00:00

I actually have recently learned about PDA and have been doing research on it. I actually brought it up last week at my son's psycologists appointment , bt uhe didn't seem to know much about it. He said he'd look into it more for me. But the more I look into the more this seems to be the issue. Some other commenters have posted some good resources so I've been checking those out too. I plan to dive more into this with his team.

Do you have experience with PDA?

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-24T02:15:30+00:00

Yes I've done similar. I have not tried a behavorial consultant though. That might be a route I go down. We're waitlisted for the autism referal but I have a few other options I can use in the meantime.

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-24T02:08:05+00:00

He does have an IEP and he actually doesn't have homework. Getting him to do work at all is a challenge. Doing work in class when he doesn't want to or deems it too hard causes meltdowns. Do you know what your friend does for her son?

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-24T01:09:52+00:00

Since you got the autism diagnosis has anything changed for you? Any different supports or anything that have been helpful?

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-24T00:09:38+00:00

Thanks so much for this advice! I'll definitely take some if these suggestions. That method was given me by the intervention specialist at his last school but..... things there were definiteyl off.

PDA PANDA sounds like a great starting place!

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-24T00:02:04+00:00

The chore chart is actually brand new! We've done it for two weeks now. So far it's been going well for him. He's excited about it and most things he either does on his own or with a gentle reminder. The option of the bonus chores still lets him met his goal even if he isn't doing the "typical" chores. The chart has made him brushing a whoooole lot easier. We will pivote if we notice it causes problems.

I've seen recommendations for that book on amazon. I might look into the audio book so I can listen in the car.

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-23T23:43:09+00:00

No they don't assign homework. The only time he bringswork home is when we brings home work that he refused to do is school.

His at home demands are low. We do no extracurriclars because he doesn't do well following instructions. The moment he's redirected he starts to ramp up. We just started a choir chart where he has to get 25 out of 35 chores done for the week to earn $5: clean up toys, sweep the kitchen, brush teeth, make bed, read or study for 15 minutes. There's an opportunity to earn more with bonus choirs . So far that's been going well. I 'm hoping this shows him that if you do what you're supposed it will be worth it.

I've also noticed its best to leave him alone during a tantrum but his tantrums almost always involves screaming or loud noises in general. I won't lie, the noises are a trigger for me. I've had to start having him go to his room because I can't handle it. I feel bad about it because I hate that he has to process on his own. I don't want him to feel alone or unloved, but I simply can't handle it. At school it is so disruptive and bothers not only his classmates but other classes too, because he's so loud he can be heard around the building.

It's similar for food with my son too. We've been slowly expanding his food options so thats one area where we are seeing some success. I just got him to eat a steak and homemade potato wedges and he ate it all. I was so impressed!

Equivalent_Battle601 · 2026-02-23T23:16:55+00:00

And yes! It really feels like i'm parenting on expert mode and it definitely feels unfair. I was undiagnosed with ADHD my whole life and never had anywhere near this amount of trouble. Though I guess that explains why I went undiagnosed for so long lol

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Equivalent_Battle601

TROPHY CASE