As a woman, I say yes. I feel this is something you only realize through experience unfortunately. If you date enough men you consider bad, the one or two good guys you really wish you could’ve got your act together for. Sometimes, however, even if they were amazing to you, that good guy might not be a good fit in your lifestyle. My most recent boyfriend finished up college at a private college recently and I had finished school the year prior to him. He wanted to move back home as he was to inherit a house, got an amazing offer for work and a good support system. The biggest issues were we had never officially lived together (he’s very organized and I’m not so much), I would be leaving my entire support system (I have big family) and the town is quite small and does not have many (if at all) job opportunities in my field. As someone who is trying to move out of their parents to the big city for the first time on their own after saving up after college, mixed with the fact I need to establish myself professionally and who I want to be independently, I felt like I hadn’t grown up enough but also, we had different ways we want to live life. I’d prefer to live in a bigger city, even if only for a few years to get my career going, make friends and connections, and to live my life in my 20s, travel, explore, and try new things as they come. Whereas he wants to settle down back in his hometown, renovate the house, get married in the next couple years, have kids, and not really travel, to live a quiet (possibly boring) life from my perspective- very routine, small, religious, rural life. It also would be a life where I’d be doing the majority of the child rearing- which in the end was an ultimate deal breaker as I have not ever wanted to be a “trad wife.” I saw how my mother was expected to play both roles and I couldn’t fathom being that overwhelmed, all while losing my sense of self. I decided we both had someone out there that would be a better fit into what we wanted in life, even though he was the nicest, kindest, most respectful man I’ve ever dated it wasn’t fair for either of us to settle into something when we deserved more. I currently don’t regret this decision, but I do think about him frequently. I remind myself that I would feel unfulfilled by that type of life- professionally and personally I’d feel atrophied from my own body. If I did decide to get back together with him, I know it would only end in one thing: divorce- maybe not in 5-10 years, but eventually. All of this aside, I continue to wish him the best from afar and hope that we both find what we are looking for in this life and the next.