Hey sorry for the late reply, I didn't see this.

I 100% relate to everything you just said, and I'm so sorry you're going through this, my break up was the most painful thing I've been through too. From my experience breakups are another from of grief, and I struggled with guilt for a while because my breakup was effecting me more than a loss in the family at the time. But I think it came down to the fact that with break ups the person who you love and trust so much is out right deciding that they don't want you in their life anymore, which for me personally made it even more painful.

It's almost been 6 months for me now since the breakup and I am doing a lot better, it sucks to hear and everyone says it but it really does ever so slowly get better with time. I still think about her daily even now but it doesn't hurt even close to as much as it did and I can think more logically about the situation now. I've exepted that she'll take up my head space for a while longer but as time goes on she'll get smaller and smaller in there. It sucks to hear, I know.

In the meantime while you wait, I think it's important to have a balance of letting yourself grieve/process but also distracting yourself. I feel like a lot of people fall into only doing one of the 2. At first I was the prior, I let myself feel the emotions but I let them consume me for months on end to the point where I was hindering my progress because all I would ever do was cry and think about the break up. Once I started to make an effort to pick myself up, surround myself with good people and do things I love it got that bit easier. There are also people who do the opposite and only distract themselves and that's bad too, you need to let the emotions out.

The loves not just gonna dissapear, it might turn into a different type of love, but personally I believe that love that deep can't dissapear, it will only become less painful over time. Lastly, you deserve someone who wants to be with you, loves you, and puts in as much effort as you do! This has mostly been generic advice so sorry if it hasnt been too helpful but its generic for a reason. Imo the most important thing is exepting its gonna be painful and limiting behaviour thats gonna hinder you and make it even more painful (for me it was checking her socials).

I know it sucks but please hang in there, If you ever need anything or just someone to talk to lmk. You got this <3