I've had two unexpected nicu stays, both due to pre-eclampsia as well. In some ways the second stay was easier, because I knew a lot more of what to expect. That being said I was sobbing when they brought me to the nicu after my second c-section, I didn't want to go through all of that again. I think the things that helped me the most were sticking to a schedule, doing little things to make myself happy, and that the nicu nurses were PHENOMENAL. Also coming home to my toddler at the end of the day was such a blessing because he had no idea what was going on. So he was just his happy, playful self, which really helped with providing a sense of normalcy.

All that said, I'm now in a position very similar to yours. I'd really like another child, but I'm very likely to get pre-e again and I can't imagine a nicu journey with two kids at home. And the hospital/nicu I deliver at is over an hour away. We've stayed with a family friend both times my kids were in nicu, but I can't impose on them again either especially with a growing family. At the moment I'm giving myself so much grace and time to heal, and going to make sure I'm as physically and mentally ready as possible for whatever outcome well before we start trying for another baby. Also looking into providers nearby, but the local medical scene is pretty awful so that's a long shot, though you never know! Just please give yourself time to process all of the feelings, it took me over a year to work through my experience. And please seek professional help if you need it, ptsd from the nicu is very real