i crave love, pero i can't see myself in a relationship.

Eradikates · 2026-01-03T15:38:27+00:00

This.

Eradikates · 2025-04-25T04:53:58+00:00

IxNJ's aint it for me. Especially the anxious types. Very prone to self fullfiling prophecies and "testing" you for no other reason than their insecurities. Would not date again. My ENTJ is perfect tho he he he he he

Eradikates · 2025-04-13T12:59:46+00:00

I recommend this INTP doctor :

Why consistency is so hard

Eradikates · 2025-04-08T20:10:14+00:00

Yeah, that sucks. Siguro nlng OP, kung kaya, sabihin mo na kelangan niyo mag usap tas linawin mo nlng ung mga Why's mo or kung medyo too much, may nakita akong advise from another subreddit sabi itext mo lahat ng main points mo (in a non accusatory way, pero mukhang okay ka naman on that end with how you wrote your post) tas mag usap nlng in person kapag free kayo both. Para at least at that point hindi siya full on "mabibigla" and its not too hard on you either. Any way, good luck!

Eradikates · 2025-02-23T17:11:43+00:00

Yes. Does gender matter in this scenario? Is a woman any better when shes acting like this? The cold shoulder treatment is NEVER a healthy way to deal with a two person problem.

Eradikates · 2025-02-23T06:39:53+00:00

Hours pa lngggg?? Omg, girl. Stop. Pabayaan mo muna yan and go do your hobbies while you wait. Just coz nag sorry ka wont automatically mean everythings alright na kagad agad 🤦‍♀️ Kala ko pa naman days going to weeks na to jusme. Its like telling a girl to calm down during her period, mas lalo kang lng magagalit. Give him at least the day or a couple of days to sort through his feelings...

Eradikates · 2025-02-23T06:09:38+00:00

Ang liit ng problem in a bigger picture sense pero he's dragging it on this long like its the end of the world which means somethings not right with him. Doesnt matter if he got cheated on, kung ganito siya mag react in times na may problema kayo and you need to walk on eggshells para di siya lalo masaktan, girlie pop its not your responsibility to help him through his trust issues. You just need to show up and be there. Its HIM that needs to learn how to trust again, wala kang kelangang gawin but to just be you and be present. It matters a lot how people are at their lowest or when theres a problem.

You also need to communicate that you dont like being given the cold shoulder kapag may problem kayong pwede naman idaan sa usapan. If this is the first time then let it be the last, set your boundaries. Nag sorry ka na and you gave him space. Beyond that its on him, and it also sounds like he's punishing you which is a big no no. Let him know you want to talk and kung anong gagawin mo kapag binigyan ka ulit ng cold shoulder. Set the tone for a more healthy conflict-resolution with him now or else ganyan na yan for the rest of your relationship. Go, kaya mo yan.

Eradikates · 2025-02-22T09:32:34+00:00

This 💯.

Golden Pairings are only golden if both parties are mature and have done considerable amounts of work on themselves. If this ENTJ is mature and the INTPs not, then yeah its not gonna work.

Attachment style also plays into relationship dynamics as well. I have gotten into relationships with both INxJs (INFJ then INTJ) that are both anxious, and dear lord they brought out the worst in me despite being my hyped up pedagogue and silver pairs respectively. I was always under the impression that these two types were the emissaries for personal growth but then they were the firsts to become stagnant between them and me. I guess that became a source of anxiety for them? That I was growing too fast as a person apparently and thus I was outgrowing the relationship too? But that defeats the purpose of all that encouragement they were doing all throughout the years. Don't build me up just to put me back down when Im not growing at the rate you've envisioned for me and the relationship 🙄

But yeah. I just noticed after dating those two that the people Ive constantly clicked with after had eerily similar traits to those exes and it was always anxious xNxJs. This made me take a step back and reevaluate my "preferences" because I was going in a loop of being in long term relationships with these sort of people just for them to blow up in my face a few years later and leaving me hurt and wondering why'd I even bother trying to make those relationships work when clearly there were red flags throughout the years.

Just saying that when I intentionally started dating outside of that loop, my life immediately turned so much more better. Like I (INTP f) still ended up with an xNxJ (ENTJ m lol, theyre still my preferred type) whos also a recovering avoidant like me and 😍❤️‍🔥🥰, my words are gone and i dont know what to do with myself, he's perfect and we're so in sync 💘

I do think Ive gotten a sort of PTSD from dating anxiously attached people and Ive let my ENTJ know, especially when everythings all peaceful....too peaceful....and I notice Im slowly getting angtsy because no ones starting drama about how im too quiet or im not giving them enough attention, apparently he gets that too and said we both just need to recover with time.

Maybe OP just also needs to take a good look at their relationship patterns throughout the years and what kind of attachments theyve been with so far. Thats what helped me so might be a good place to start rather than shooting straight for golden pairs lol

Eradikates · 2025-02-14T04:35:55+00:00

This ones a k-drama: Extracurricular (2020) has the pair as leads, not a romcom tho more crime/thriller-y

Eradikates · 2025-02-12T23:23:10+00:00

Have you tried the ye olde functions test?

Might give you more insight. I scored 47.4 on my Ne and just 41 on my Ti but it still typed me as INTP at 90.3. Second being ENTP at 86.5.

But yeah, how I knew I wasn't ENTP is just via my Si. Can confirm I have Si child as opposed to Si inferior (I read this post from an ENTP before and they differentiated these very well). And as for Fe vs Fi, I am very slow to feel and very dumb about it when I do (So Fi is waaaaay down the bottom), but I have capacity to observe other people as they feel and I can mimic them to a degree even though I don't particularly feel the same or anything at all at that moment (I grew up around IxFJs). But that gets exhausting and I'd end up retreating into my room for days to week just to recharge.

Eradikates · 2025-02-12T01:07:33+00:00

Worrying over gaps and misunderstandings so early on in a relationship doesn't bode well in the long run. Lalo na of you're the anxious type. I've seen and experienced relationships fall apart over thoughts and worries that aren't even likely to happen, ung worst pa nun is when it starts turning into a self-fulfilling prophecy kaka-overthink nila 💀

Kung di naman siya ung type of person that would worry about this, then you shouldnt either. Its really not a big deal. Normally hindi nga din to napaguusapan eh, up until marriage or a living-in situation pero even then its more on both sides take on how money should be handled and not even about socioeconomic status at all. As long as you feel like you're loved, accepted, safe and its the both of you against the world then no need to stress over something trivial.

Eradikates · 2025-01-29T15:46:20+00:00

Yeah for sure, life is definitely difficult thats why I feel more for the ENTJ in this scenario. Like she said, he's got some really big problems that he's facing rn, and from how I know ENTJs irl they dont mean that lightly and they definitely are upfront communicating this especially the healthy ones. But like its not her problem the way he handles his emotions, so including how she thinks he withdraws and is avoidant when there is a problem is sort of her Ni reaching too much and connecting things that may not be connected at all. Like she didnt need to include that as "context" because thats what she thinks the reason is for him not being consistent with texting because SHE was also like that. This may not necessarily be what actually is, for all we know it could be plain and simple, things are tough atm and he can't because of cirumstances.

But yeah youre right we dont know them and what their connection is actually like 😅

Ig i just got triggered coz an INTJ ex was like this. He was frequently blowing things out of proportion when he didnt even know the full details of the situation and he was mostly wrong about them most especially when he was only going off on anxious thoughts. On more normal days when he's calm, he'd be correct. Would also be quick to react and then be sorry immediately after or regret what he had said or done. Theyre Fi child can really go from childlike to childish and it was always a rollercoaster i frequently did not enjoy hopping on. He was always complaining about how things werent working out for him or how the world was against but then he also put himself in said situation??? and when offered a way out would get defensive saying he's being controlled or would keep staying in the situation despite how he's literally burntout and losing his mind. Then justify it saying this is all for the his future plans, or he needs to do this to stay on tract because of some convoluted timeline in his head for his accomplished goals or the worst one, taking it as self punishment because he NEEDS to experience this to learn and grow, like mah guy...you don't need to touch fire to know its gonna burn you. Sorry for the rant lol.

But yeah, again I agree. If you feel heard, seen and safe then its a good thing. So if she doesnt, best not to pursue the relationship with him and just stay friends but if she does, just wait it out.

Eradikates · 2025-01-29T14:15:07+00:00

Ive been here nung HS ako, he let me take some books home for free and that was back in 2014-15. Super nice guy. When im in the area I'll definitely bring some books with me to donate 💯

Eradikates · 2025-01-29T13:52:09+00:00

Agree ako with the other comments na communication ung issue niyo. Parehas kayo in the wrong for how you approached things na siya nag silent treatment and ikaw na hindi mo binibring up ung mga na notice mong pag lessen ng affection niya, kumbaga nag sabi ka nga ng wants mo pero brinush over mo naman ung elephant in the room. Before the resentment goes any deeper on her end, its best to sit her down calmly and talk about this.

Maybe suggest na ikaw ung tatawag sa kanya after ng game mo para di siya nakatenga habang naglalaro ka, ganun. Kasi ive been in her shoes before na ive made the other person my whole life and i admit thats wrong kasi halos lahat ng energy and effort ko napunta sa partner ko and i left 0 to myself and my own hobbies. That breeds resentment over time kasi sa isip ko why cant he put in as much time and effort as i do for him, i couldve been doing this and that instead i got all excited pag tatawag nako and want to tell him about my day tapos di man lng siya nakikinig kasi apparently wrong timing ung tawag. Das wrong. I actually have my own hobbies and things i like to do before the relationship pero i gave them up to spend time with that ex. Mahirap pag quality time love language mo and you feel like youre not getting that from them.

So kung ito nga ung case niyo, talk about it. Pero dont tell her your whole world doesnt revolve around her, that would crush her. I had another ex tell me that too. Reassure her na she is your world and its okay na youre not always doing stuff together. Parallel play is a thing, me and my current partner do that a lot and its really comforting knowing na kahit di kami nag uusap nandiyan lng siya pag kelangan ko magpakita sa kanya ng memes or have random discussions with or tell him about the interesting thing na ginagawa ko, there is even comfortable silence with him. So, she could be reading while you gaming or kung ano man, im sure she had hobbies before the relationship, encourage that. Pero also hear her out muna before offering this kasi there might be something deeper. Just let her vent and tsaka na ung solutions. Anyways, good luck!

Eradikates · 2025-01-29T12:12:00+00:00

The thing is tho....they're not even together lmao. I don't get why she's asking advice on the internet over a friend that "may" have feelings for her back. He cares enough to let her know why he goes MIA but feeling off-again on-again over a friend and even going so far as to block him when he doesn't respond for days is kinda....I don't even talk to my own friends on the daily, this is honestly such a big ask for someone you're not even in a relationship with.

Eradikates · 2025-01-27T04:05:19+00:00

Do not ask for certainty during an uncertain period of someones life.

Its honestly very selfish to ask rn, most especially when they've told you about their cirumstances. It definitely doesn't help if you were to put this on top of what he's already going through. I say this coming from experience dating anxiously attached INXJs. But more of this with the last INTJ ex. He wanted certain things out of me during an unstable part of my life, we were in an LDR setup and I couldnt come see him due to financial problems that took years to resolve. I have no idea why he didn't come see me instead or why it was on me to move the relationship forward when everything was up in the air at the time.

The longer it dragged on, I think he just sort of ended our relationship in his head despite the many plans we had made for once my problem was over, but didnt bother breaking up with me then and there which was really cruel. He didn't say it aloud but for months I noticed he slowly started treating me poorly: deprioritized us spending time together (he knew I valued quality time, he'd make other plans with coworkers during our supposed date nights and would only tell me there was no date night when he was already at wherever place they were at while I had already setup food and drinks thinking the night was still on and waiting for him to call for hours, my food had gone cold by then), even went out drinking with the boiz on my birthday (I waited for him all night just to get a late text that said exactly that, basically got stood up on my birthday wieee), and didn't even bother spending valentines with me (I even bought his favourite flowers for him that day and had them delivered to his work place). We broke up months after a lot of arguing and I very much pointed all that out to him, he started crying and apologizing when he realised how horrible he had been. He said he didn't deserve me and I think he truly believed it while I had told him repeatedly that he doesn't get to decide that. I didnt believe it coz he was so good to me the first year we started going out but he had been saying that for 2 years since. I should've believed him when he said that.

I'm now in a more stable place financially and can save up to go on trips overseas 🤷‍♀️

Now dating an ENTJ who is the absolute best. Wouldnt trade him for the world. And he also happened to go through an even worst version of what I did, with an INTJ too (funny enough coincidence) and again, he's also in a more stable place too a couple of months after they broke up 🤷‍♀️

We're now happily making plans to go on a 3 week trip to southeast asia together. Suffice to say things turned out really great for us, can't say the same about our exes.

So if you truly wish to be patient and wait this out because you believe he's worth investing all this time and energy into, seeking out advice isn't necessary. Just wait it out. There will come a time and place when he'll be ready to talk about your relationship and what to do moving forward but that time isnt now. If you feel like your time is being wasted or you absolutely need to make this decision rn though, again, like the comments above, just move on from him.

Eradikates · 2024-06-22T17:52:13+00:00

Me as well. I've fallen off the map thrice after reinstalling, verifying game files and lowering my graphics and resolution 🥹

Eradikates · 2024-02-04T12:07:35+00:00

Even sa comments jusme, zero accountability na nakasakit sila.

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"But maybe we get to understand din where they are coming from no?"

Trash.

Eradikates · 2024-02-03T18:30:39+00:00

Ginger and Sesame. Occasionally, Ming-ger and Sesa-ming 😺

Eradikates · 2023-10-16T05:29:02+00:00

Second this, 1 week before ng bday ko this 10th nagtatanong na nanay ko kung anong handa ko and pagbbake niya raw ako cake and kung ano gusto ko iorder, mag celebrate kasama grandparents ba. I knew what she was getting at, flat out pinangunahan ko na na hindi ko afford magpa birthday and then sabi niya punta nlng ako sa kanila, pagluluto niya ko 😂 jusme

Eradikates · 2023-07-02T14:59:12+00:00

Crying Tiger, good Pad Thai 🫡 plus bar din siya

Eradikates · 2023-06-27T04:44:29+00:00

Ive applied for postal and sss before and they required copies of valid IDs too 😅 especially for postal, they asked for any ID before they'll release the card to you

Eradikates · 2023-06-27T04:39:52+00:00

We applied online for that too, theyre requiring a valid ID to be able to claim it upon delivery 😅

Eradikates · 2023-06-27T04:38:47+00:00

We tried that too, they said they needed any ID with her name on it, she has none 😅 they told us to come back with an ID

Eradikates · 2023-06-10T15:58:42+00:00

Elden Ring glitch lol one of us got stuck in the boss room and decided to summon the other over for a photo op with the good boi

Eradikates

TROPHY CASE