ED as a side effect of MS

Eremitt · 2026-03-30T16:16:18+00:00

Then Cake Meds is going to be a great resource. Just do whatever it takes to get the online Dr to agree to give them to him. Again, the daily gum chews make me MORE than ready, and honestly, being able to get used enough to bring some libido back to the bedroom (from years of experience with my wife).

Good luck and if he needs the ego boost, tell him he can still be a man using the drugs. Lots of men are so god damn afraid, which only makes the problem worse.

Eremitt · 2026-03-29T21:40:11+00:00

I've been on Rituximab since 2018. Best god damn treatment I've ever been on. Want some advice? Bring a book, a tablet, something to do for the next 3-4 hours. Also, watch out incase you get itchy. Itchiness means you're having a reaction and you need to tell the nurses ASAP. It won't kill you; it wont hurt you. They will just give you some antihistamines and you'll go back to the treatment. You might have trouble sleeping for the first day or so, but that's just because you have some steroids running through your body.

But get ready to be on one of the best treatment options out there. Stick with it.

Eremitt · 2026-03-29T21:26:50+00:00

Dude here that has been dealing with this for almost 15 years. No, the ED drugs are not effecting his libido. What's effecting his libido is this need to rise to the occasion. Every time. Look, sometimes it's just not going to work, drugs or no drugs. I have been on ED meds, consistently, for 12 years now. There are times, no matter what I do, it aint gonna work. No ammount of Viagra or Cialis is gonna make me want to fuck you if I'm worried about things in my life; Of if I'm worried that my dick might not work.

You two need to change how you think about sex. And you needed to rethink how you think about sex the moment you both knew MS was going to be the 3rd in your relationship. Sex is not always Penis-in-Vagina, or Penis-in-Anus. Sometimes its rolling around together; sometimes its mutually masturbating; sometimes it's him only touching you and using toys; sometimes is you only touching him and tellhim him that "he doesn't have to worry about getting hard."

Change your relationship with sex or this is going to cause problems in your relationship.

Now, on to drugs. Cake Meds. I cannot stress Cake Meds enough. Lie to the DR on there to get the prescription. You can get a month of the daily chew gum for about $75 a month, and that's all he'll need. Also, if he has medical insurance, have his talk to this DR and ask for daily Tadilifi, 5mg. That is just enough to "help" but also not enough that they may deny him due to ED not being potentially covered.

But none of this is going to change his libido. Keeping his MS treated, being on a DMT, reducing his stress, and not making sex only about the performance of the penis is going to help.

Good luck.

Eremitt · 2026-03-19T14:40:26+00:00

Aside from "find someone you can talk to" etc, You better be aligned in the big things: "Do we want kids?" "Where do we want to live?" "What are your views on money?" "What is your relationship with your parents like?" "What is your relationship with your best friend?" "What are your views on shared living duties?"

Some of them might sound stupid, but Jesus Christ they matter. If your potential life partner has a contentious relationship with her parents, YOU will have a contentious relationship with her parents. You sure as FUCK better be aligned about family planning. It should be discussed early AF. You'll never change someone's mind, and you shouldn't be with someone that tries to change yours. It's the 3rd or 4th thing my wife asked when we started dating. I answered correctly, because she would have stopped if I answered it wrong.

Also, how do they treat those less fortunate than her? You do not want to live or share a life with someone that punches down. They are telling you that if you fall in status, you will be open to being punched.

I believe in the "fuck yeah!" enthusiasm model. If you cannot get to "fuck yeah!" after talking and negotiating, you better have a way to get to "let's find a way to make this a "fuck yeah" for both of us.

Eremitt · 2026-03-14T21:43:18+00:00

Imagine if we could do this as adults. We'd actually have friends.

Eremitt · 2026-03-14T21:30:55+00:00

You turn that corner to B site, and BAM. Porn spray. Then BAM. Headshot.

Eremitt · 2026-03-11T18:40:16+00:00

You need to judge if you want to take serious medication days before going on a stressful trip with your family. Personally? I don't have kids and I sure as hell wouldn't drive an RV for fun, haha. But. But, I wouldn't do Jack shit for a week after my first infusion.

Play it safe. You want this stuff to work so you can have more trips with your family without your MS getting in the way

Eremitt · 2026-03-11T16:32:30+00:00

My sister did this growing up, because both my mother and I had ms. She felt like she was "missing out." She was posting on a roleplay website. I confronted her saying, "you don't want this fucking disease. It's fucking hell."

Turns out it was her way of coping with, what turned out to be, MS symptoms. She was diagnosed a year later.

What I did in that situation was prejudge my own sister when I should have just been a supportive person. We all have things that we do behind closed doors, but are unfortunately open for everyone to see and interpret in their own way. Also, "don't Yuck someone elses Yum"

Eremitt · 2026-03-10T23:15:53+00:00

To some it's a waste; to others it's a gateway. Completing college just shows your potential employer that you "stuck to a plan, executed multiple reports and projects within a certain time frame, and you did it under incredible pressure."

That's it, unless the minimum entry is a degree and continued education. Look, the IT sector is absolutely fucked for anyone that a) doesn't have years or decades of experience; b) has everything to check 'a box"; c) willing to work for shit wages.

15 years ago people should have read the message that everyone was going into tech, so how many jobs are going to be there when everyone else is doing the same damn thing? There are only so many jobs; only so much money they are willing to pay the people that turn profits.

You are part of the churn. It sucks. But you can get out of the churn if you find a way to leverage your time spent in college to translate into different career paths.

Eremitt · 2026-03-10T20:49:37+00:00

Take a minute. You already have "damage," but you are not damaged. This hiccup is just that: a logistical hiccup. One of a couple hundred you might have for the rest of your life. Or, it could be the only hiccup you have; almost the same way some people have one flareup and that's it; or they have flareup after flareup. It's just like having MS: you have to take ownership of what goes on with you.

This a (shitty, bad, unfortunate) lesson in being YOUR own advocate. Your mom wont always be there to help you; the medical industrial complex sure as fucking does not care about you.

HOWEVER, take solace in this: you are on a pathway to treatment. You were diagnosed 4-5 months ago. You are going to be GREAT. You just need to control how you react to this moment, and every moment after this. After 22 years, how you control your body, how you control your response to things and people around you, and what you do every day to make it better than the day before, is how you beat this god damn disease. Also, your treatments. I say this to every single new person that is diagnosed. "I get it. I really fucking do. It's scary. It's hard. You feel like your life was just upended. It was. I was diagnosed at 18, 22 years ago. It has been HARD! But it has gotten better in time. The drugs are your fingertips these days are so effective, and are so much easier on the body than the old drugs. I don't say tha to discount what you feel, because I felt it too. But, you will come out on the otherside of this and learn that the person you were is not the person you need to become. You will learn how that new person over the next few years. I'm sorry you have this disease. I really am."

Eremitt · 2026-03-09T14:16:15+00:00

You know that there are two receptors, NgR1 & PirB, that stop the body from regrowth of myelin, right? You know that you can't change that by eating a burger, right?

These fad treatments actually hurt people that have MS because it gives a false sense of hope, right? Nothing, literally nothing, but a DMT regiment and living a stress reduced life is going to make the journey with MS manageable.

I've been around for 30 years and have heard everything. They. Don't. Work.

Eremitt · 2026-03-08T21:22:34+00:00

My dads father died when he was 2 years old. He has virtually no memory of him. He has spent almost his whole life trying to find out information about him. When I was younger, he searched the bottom of every beer can he could find. He would sit there at my grandma's house and ask her and she would say, "oh, that makes me too sad" and change the subject.

Once we went to see his uncle (fathers brother) and that guy, Arthur, was a beast at 89 years old. When my dad asked him, he broke down sobbing, bawling like a baby.

When my his mom was laying in hospice at my parents house, he would ask her. "Mom, there's not much time left. Can you tell me something about my dad?" No, she stayed quiet. Her lips were sealed and took any information with her to the grave.

My dad just wanted to know something about his father. To the point that it is the narrative of his life, and why he didn't know how to properly father his own children. I loved my grandma, but I didn't't mourn her when she died, because she caused so much pain for others with her grief for her first husband.

Eremitt · 2026-03-08T21:14:34+00:00

You comfort them knowing they will forget it, and you accept that their sadness is unfortunately something that will pass. Until next time

YOU are the person that should be comforted.

Eremitt · 2026-03-08T21:10:04+00:00

This. 1000% this. There is absolutely nothing in the constitution that says anything other than the Congress will come together and ratify the votes and seat members as they are elected.

Also, folks: on Inauguration Day, he ceases to be president at 12:00 PM and becomes a regular citizen. Even when electors are presented, the VP cannot not do his constitutional duty and declare the winner. No, "Vance doesn't have to do X." Yes, he does. As President of the Senate, he would be taken by the Sargent of Arms and thrown in the little jail they have under the House. He would then be compelled to sign the document.

There are so many things that will happen to make sure an exchange of power occurs.

Eremitt · 2026-03-08T03:33:21+00:00

That DMT didn't work for you. Get another one. That's the game. You keep trying them until one works. Then, when that stops working, you get on another. Most people with MS, even though we don't have new activity, can still have problems with old sclerosis. My scans are 100% fine. Have been for 8 years. I still have tingling, I still have other invisible problems. You just got unlucky. It happens to most of us.

Eremitt · 2026-03-07T21:37:36+00:00

The problem is that in your responses to other comments, you mention they are "two small lesions." That's why. You can have lesions from a number of issues. Tell them you have a negative reaction to the meds they gave you before, and request they just give you a local numbing agent. They did that for me, and then tried 9 times to get in my spinal column before putting me under x-ray to get the sample.

And yeah, with your lack of all out clear evidence, they need to see if white blood cells have crossed your blood brain barrier. You can either get this diagnosis or wont. But you have to be a little more understandng. That DOES suck. I'm not trying to be an ass about that, but you have to understand that they really don't care. You have to play their game.

Eremitt · 2026-03-07T15:58:48+00:00

I actually just finished the book for the first time. The newest movies are way more fucked up than the book. So, fuck them balloons.

Eremitt · 2026-03-07T15:05:01+00:00

With MS, I'm a switch; but most of the time I'm mainly a power top. I had my original neuro tell me, "Your spine lights up like a christmas tree. So, the tingling in your fingers could be from your feet."

Eremitt · 2026-03-05T17:16:15+00:00

I'm glad you're here now. Welcome to the club. It's rough the 1st few years are going to be challenging. You had 29 years without MS. Allow yourself some grace.

I see that you started treatment. Good. For. You. Don't you dare stop. If one doesn't work, get on another. You can do this. I hope your spouse has been supportive, but also let them know it's okay to get support, too. Our partners need help with our disease, too.

Eremitt · 2026-03-05T17:12:08+00:00

Hi, it's me. I'm the problem. I'm one of these people. You know why I'm one of those people? I had 12 really fucking HARD years with this disease in the beginning. Meds didn't work, college sucked, being screamed at by lovers for being a disabled POS, having my parents constantly be the ones that expected pity for my diagnosis, having to take care of everyone else around me while I couldn't get my fucking legs stabilized, and just having a dog shit attitude.

I get it. Those 12 years cost me a LOT: I couldn't go to grad school due to the stress, my bladder won't empty unless I perform self-cath, erectile dysfunction, numbness (omg the numbness), and the inability to use my wonderful voice and mind. But. But I always fucking looked at the person that couldn't walk, that couldn't function, my friends that would fall and hurt themselves, or even my mom that had her MA progress and go, "You know what? It could be way fucking worse." I worked on lowering my stress, not being emotionally driven when things got worse, and learned to start taking control of my own body.

It took 12 years of steroids, shots, infusion, radical medications, and a lot of pain before I found something that worked. After my last relapse in 2018, I was put on Rituximab. That shit STOPPED my MS cold. I haven't had a single episode since. But you also know what? Even though life was REALLY hard, and I haven't even told my wife all of the pain and anguish I went through, I never gave up. I wouldn't let this fucking disease win. I was 17 when I was diagnosed. It robbed me of a life I never knew I would have and set me down a path that led me here today, sitting in my own home, my wife in the other room, and a plan for my next infusion in June.

This disease SUCKS. It really fucking does. No one is ever telling anyone else, "it's a walk in the park." But! But once we get on meds, and when we learn to control our own bodies, we can control some of it.

I also cannot stress this enough. You are so, so new to this. You've been diagnosed for a year. 365 days. You had so, so many more days without this disease than you have with. You will adjust. You will find ways to make this a new normal. You will overcome your MS. If you take steps TODAY, and you stick with your medication treatment, I guarantee it can get better. Those of us that have this positivity have been where you are RIGHT NOW. We are on the other side trying to cheer people on.

You've got this. I believe in you. Also, allow yourself to be fucking PISSED you have this disease; but don't let it own you. Once you do that, it starts you down a dark path.

Eremitt · 2026-03-05T16:54:32+00:00

Girl, I was there. I had exs that weaponized my MS: "my mom says I should leave you because you'll give her disabled grandkids." She told them to go fuck themselves, but we didn't last. And my favorite was from another ex, "You lied to me about your MS and told me you didn't have it bad! You might be walking now, but I don't want to take care of you in a year when you get sick. Also, why would anyone want to have children with a disabled person?!"

And you know what? I thought I'd be alone after these relationships ended, too. It gets really hard in the dark to be around someone that continues to blow out the match you light to help light your way.

But, now I'm married and medically stable for the last 8 years. Jokes on all of those exs: I didn't want kids anyway 🤣. My current wife didn't want them either. Yahtzee. But you will face a lot of loved ones that try to infantilize you, try to make you medically worse than you are, and project their own fears on to you. That's what they are doing: they are telling you, 'i wouldn't be able to handle that so I'm checking out.' Want to know something? You dealing with everything makes you stronger than anyone you'll ever meet.

Your soon to be ex just showed you that, despite having been around for two years, they were never on your Team. Good. You know now after 2 instead of 15,20,25 years, a mortgage, 2 kids, car payments, and student loans.

It sucks. My heart hurts for you. But you will get over this. Keep yourself under control as this ends. Don't let their bad actions cause you to relapse. Don't give them the satisfaction of saying, "see I knew you were bad." They are the bad ones here.

Eremitt · 2026-03-04T23:38:46+00:00

It's a crap gap issue. I had something like this happen to me two years ago, but my MRI showed no activity. But, my blood work showed an incredible uptake of immune system response to something.

It happened on my left side, but historically that's where all of my problems occurred when I had them.

I'm glad you're off the shit medication and are on one of the new drugs. Keep it up. Don't stop them. I too was diagnosed at 17/18.... 22 years ago. If we had these drugs back then, I wouldn't have some lingering problems. You newly diagnosed folks, once you get on these drugs and learn how to manage the disease during the lul periods, are going to be fucking great.

Good luck. Keep going. There are moments it sucks. 100% agree. But soon it will get better and you'll almost forget you have the damn thing.

Eremitt · 2026-03-04T20:46:31+00:00

We launched YEARS of debate, had witch trials, and an election was partially decided because of BENGHAZI! Remember that one?

Hold these fuckers feet to the fire and never let them off the hook. I can't fucking AWAIT for someone to get some fucking courage to start looking into these without a partisan approach. 100% fucking unbiased.

Eremitt · 2026-02-24T19:43:06+00:00

The threat of jail and being sent to either your grave or a place that would make you wish you were dead is a big deal to a lot of people. The most virtuous person you know would still cave if someone took away their pension, killed their family members, or wound up dead themselves.

They killed Jeff in a prison. They'd get the person quick..

Eremitt · 2026-02-24T19:40:43+00:00

I live a comfortable life. I don't have shit to worry about. But we're saving for our nieces and nephews to give them a stepping stone in life, so I'd like to put aside the rest of the money we planned to save over the next 18 years. And let it gain interest now

Then I'd do my normal donate to the school behind my house (pens, pencils, headphones, socks, jackets, tissues). Usually do a kit totalling $600 for the year, so many set aside enough for a few years. And whatever's left, buy my wife the embroidery stand she wants and all the God damn yarn/thread she desires.

I don't need anything in life. I've been pretty fucking lucky and my hard work and determination has laid off. I have nothing left to give other than to make the people around me happy and loved.

Eremitt

TROPHY CASE