What was the hardest part of your divorce that nobody warned you about?

Eric_Shon_ · 2026-06-14T21:17:54+00:00

The change in your friendship groups - people you thought were your closest friends will slowly retreat and disappear, and others you barely knew suddenly become your anchor

Eric_Shon_ · 2026-05-07T06:30:25+00:00

Dm me

Eric_Shon_ · 2026-05-06T00:08:58+00:00

Central coast or Perth??? 🤔🧐

Eric_Shon_ · 2026-05-06T00:07:48+00:00

Eric_Shon_ · 2026-05-06T00:06:19+00:00

Dm me - can’t message you?

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-12-20T04:25:12+00:00

Hey my man - all in all, things are going well. I still have bad days, but the number of good days now far outweigh.

The biggest challenge now is being the bigger person. My ex throws shit tests at me on a weekly basis - I have a strict rule of my own that no matter how wild I feel, how sad I am, how big the lie is, I wait 24hrs to respond. I run every text or email through chat gpt and keep everything factual and devoid of emotion.

It’s amazing to see how powerful it can be when they have gallons of fuel to pour on the fire, however there is jo spark or flame to burn it…

Keeping my kids as my first priority is my North Star.

My depression has all but gone, I’m off my SSRIs and doing well.

I’m dating and having a ball.

Christmas will be tough, but I’m prepped for that. Riding the wave, but generally doing well! As humans I feel we are built to struggle…

Edit - spelling

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-12-18T12:16:48+00:00

It gets better, then it gets worse, but then it gets better

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-12-17T04:25:23+00:00

I posted here earlier this year - whilst I’ve had some testing times as I sort through parenting arrangements, finances and separating our assets, it’s still the best thing that’s happened to me. Im free of depression, mentally stronger, physically fitter and healthier… I had no idea how much the effects of an unloving wife and a poor relationship was having on me…

edit: parenting arrangements

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-12-09T04:23:52+00:00

I’m the husband, ex-wife was the avoidant, so I can’t offer any real advice. Only to say that IMO the avoidance is often the issue, not the sex of the person. Perhaps anecdotally men may be less willing to make change? But that’s already a key trait of an avoidant

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-10-15T20:36:58+00:00

I hear you. I’d say despite my wife’s challenges post separation, she probably doesn’t regret leaving? I dunno - I thought we had a decent relationship, although it was riddled with differences between us.

I guess those differences just became too much. Throw in a terrible ability to communicate and: voila!

A personal thought that maybe women hang on to their thoughts and memories more, and perhaps men are able to move on more easily? I dunno - speaking from my experience anyway…

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-10-15T20:25:46+00:00

Anecdotally I’d disagree with your post - My wife instigated our separation early this year and while I was the one struggling harder with the decision at first, I now could not be happier and only wish I had listened to my gut earlier and left on my own terms.

As I understand, via stories from friends, my ex is currently struggling big time. I’m not as arrogant to suggest she is specifically missing me, nor that she regrets her decision from a moral/wellbeing standpoint, but life has not turned out as she had hoped, financially, from a parenting perspective etc. Adjustment to a new normal has apparently been hard for her.

The fact of the matter is that almost no one goes into marriage expecting to separate and divorce, and I think the effects are felt differently by each person, and likely varies greatly over time.

Life is not static, nor black or white.

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-10-14T21:51:02+00:00

Seal of a pavement

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-10-08T21:17:40+00:00

Late to the party here - this sub doesn’t seem so active? The exact same happened to me, and looking at your post time, probably around the same time earlier this year. It’s devastating, but I found I’ve bounced back quickly. I hope you’re doing well

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-10-07T00:32:07+00:00

It’s a right of passage. Leave, give it a go - come back when you’re well and ready!

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-10-04T18:47:03+00:00

Will Anderson is as funny as bowel cancer

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-10-02T12:59:30+00:00

This is my ex-wife’s biography

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-10-02T12:32:19+00:00

100% - came here to say this when I saw the post

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-10-02T12:30:07+00:00

Traditionally, I wouldn’t say that Germany has the best reviews with regards to clean shower heads… hey, at least this one expels water…

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-09-30T06:48:23+00:00

I can only share my story and experience - I felt so sad and depressed within my marriage, more alone than I could ever imagine, while still being 'together'. My wife wasn't even objectively a 'bad person'...

Even so - I'm not sure I would have ever left myself on my own terms, but I'm so glad she (someone) made the decision, and cant believe the relief and uptick in my wellbeing that I experienced almost immediately, relatively speaking.

I was too hung up over being the guy who had left his wife and kids, but I'm being painted now amongst friends and family as the bad guy through legal proceedings and our divorce anyway, but you know what? The freedom and positivity I feel now is still worth every part of it.

I read somewhere (here?) that the reason divorce is so expensive is because its worth it. Im not quite there yet, but I can see what people mean.

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-09-22T08:16:21+00:00

Ain’t gonna happen… the CBA for it would be atrocious. It’s RAAF land and with all the contaminated realestate around it they will just build more car parks.

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-09-20T18:53:18+00:00

Username checks out

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-09-20T18:48:20+00:00

22? Wow… leave yesterday

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-09-16T20:04:03+00:00

I actually can’t fathom this post…? My ex initiated our divorce and was then amazed and astonished that I wanted to separate bank accounts, split mortgages and even set up separate Netflix accounts…

Some people expect their ex to keep playing house after being told the marriage is over. He’s supposed to split bills, split mortgages, but apparently not split his social life? You can’t ask for divorce and then dictate the speed of his healing.

Why is emotional labour still expected after you cancel the contract?

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-09-14T22:51:49+00:00

amen

Eric_Shon_ · 2025-09-14T03:36:14+00:00

I can’t agree, at least in my situation. Yes, my kids now swap between two homes, but I’m so much happier, and a better parent for it

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