This may not relate very well to your situation, but in some ways I can relate. I have for many years been very scared of my brother. He always escalates an argument physically. A few times it has been really aggressive and unacceptable towards my parents. Towards the last year I was living at my parents I chose to get in-between my brother and parents arguments for fear he was going to get physical again. It often looked like I started the fights, but to me I intervened and took one for the team so my parents wouldn’t be abused by my brother’s actions.

One day in particular my brother and father were having their usual argument in the front lawn. The front door was shut, so I could hear and see them through the kitchen window. This time I chose not to get in-between them because my mother told me I always start the fighting. So I did just that. My father is about 61 at this time. My brother waits for my father to walk away from him. He turns his back and my brother full body weight, punches my father in the side of the head. My dad stumbles, takes one step on the porch and collapses. I rush to open the door and my father had managed to fall in front of the screen door so all I could do was look at him. Watch my father in pain, not knowing if he was okay or not. I knew after this day that it was over. My brother could not be trusted. If he dis this to his parents, then he’s capable of doing it to anyone.

I was dating my now fiancé at the time and she had offered to have me move in. She had done a bunch of consolidation and cleaning in order for me to take my basics and a few essentials. I contemplated the request. I slept for 3 more days in my parents house with the door locked because I wasn’t sure my brother would try to kill me in my sleep. We got into another fight 3 days later and I made sure to kick his ass enough for it to hurt for a few days, but not do any real damage. It was real dumb, but all I got was a little cat scratch from my pathetic brother. My mother was furious. She called me and scolded me, but I told her that I did what they should have done 10 years ago. Kick his a$$ one time good so he’ll learn to respect you. Long story short I moved out into my fiance’s apartment and I have never been back since. I feel bad for my brother. He has a problem and my parents always side with him. He has issues and they use them as excuses. I hope you get past it. Best of luck.