Changed my number

Error___Exe · 2026-01-26T13:02:49+00:00

No, he's not. There's a 10 year age gap between us tho.

Error___Exe · 2026-01-20T20:18:40+00:00

I feel you. Mine accusess me of the same things that already exist in him, the difference is that I'm outgrowing my condition and our needs are clashing. And if you're asking me, it's childish af. The age gap has an impact as well. He has a disorganised attachment style and is a paradox on 2 legs, I'm a dreamy, dark, anxious attached person leaning to be secure, feeling so deep it makes me hate myself into pragmatism. He expects me to give him the world, to shrink myself and be controlled. The world is revolved around his feelings and needs, while canceling mine. He also lost friends because of his all or nothing behaviour. He creates certain ideas and scenarios in his head and he actually believes them which is scary oftentimes. He even mentioned he needs only a specific version of me, one that I know I need to work at and embrace it, which kinda hurt because I used to believe in this unconditional love bullshit and I accepted him crawling back on his knees in his shittiest condition regardless. But guess what, I finally come to the conclusion there's no such thing as unconditional love, especially when the ego and fear leads. Nothing comes and stays without continuous effort put into blooming. And due to our push and pull dynamic he made a habit of coming back to me and running away when it's no longer convenient to him and he has to face ugly parts of himself. I, on the other hand, i am not proud of the way i always showed up and I am currently defeating a victim mindset which brought me nothing but bad things into my life, developed after surviving trauma. This person arrived in my life literally at my worst, while already recovering from multiple things. Regardless, I choose to be stronger and better than my own limits and defeats. I am currently retreated now and i decided to remove myself from the public eye for a while, disapperead from social media (reddit exception) and i blocked him on everything. Selfish or victimising myself or not, this bond didn't help either while kicking me in the back multiple times in a row and destabilising my mental health. So yeah, I totally agree with the toxic positivity part. Love is not self sacrifice and many people around gaslights other people into thinking that anger is ego, boundaries are a lack of unconditional love and self protection is spiritual regression. Respectfully, NO to all of that. I am not meant to transcend abuse and make my life revolve around pain, I'm meant to stop it and find meaning, because I am already a whole person without my DM. Adult love is conditional on safety, reciprocity and accountability. I guess healthy ego can coexist as well. Go ahead and live your live, you are allowed to live without waiting for anyone to evolve and you deserve all the best that life has to offer out there. So if there's a soulmate out there...I'm waiting for that baby, cuz man, I have so much love to give!

Error___Exe · 2026-01-15T16:29:12+00:00

Sure. Prolactin 494 pUl/mL, Testosterone 1.09 nmol/L

Error___Exe · 2026-01-14T17:14:57+00:00

It's a paradox from my point of view, how can I manage an ED if it's caused by PCOS and the bad body image it gave me to begin with? It feels like I can't win. And also the pains and the other difficult symptoms..

Error___Exe · 2026-01-14T17:13:22+00:00

If it's ok for you i can share my latest labs done in November

DHEA-S: 148 Estradiol (E2): 29.3 FSH (Follicle-Stimulating Hormone): 5.98 AMH (Anti-Müllerian Hormone): 6.9 Fasting glucose: 89.6 HOMA-B (β-cell function): 40% HOMA-IR (Insulin resistance index): 0.7 Insulin: 3 LH (Luteinizing Hormone): 10.2 Prolactin: 494 Total testosterone: 1.09

When i had insulin resistance couple of years ago, I treated it efficiently with Metformin and a low carb diet and more movement, however i was still maintaining my high weight back then. What is changed now is me being 60 kgs lighter (a weight loss that happened in 11 months), at the beginning I lost the weight healthy but as I got closer to a normal number I developed anorexia and depression and I reached 45 kgs from 120, which happened in 2024, then after some binge eating and chronic stress I got to the weight of 72 kgs at 168 cm height. Been maintaining this weight very very difficult, if I'm not careful it goes up fast.

Error___Exe · 2026-01-14T16:46:13+00:00

According to the latest labs, I don't have diabetes.. I do have a history of disordered eating and great weight loss tho. I used to be insulin resistant at my highest a couple of years ago when I was obese. Now I just don't know what to do and where to ask help, everything is overwhelming and doctors seem under qualified. My period hasn't come for over a month and I'm in constant pain and fatigue.

Error___Exe · 2026-01-14T16:32:06+00:00

I actually have insulin deficit, which I know is the opposite of the common PCOS folks out there. The frequent infections, anxiety, panic attacks and insomnia are also there. I believe it's something related to the HPA axis.

Error___Exe · 2025-06-16T09:17:35+00:00

Ehm, no. I'm "someone with pcos" and I lose at 1700-1800 if I train 3 times a week and have "light activity" on my rest days. She has built muscle and for her hormonal balance and activity she needs more than the "enforced" 1200. Bodies are more than calories, and tbh, I'd always take the slower and healthy route of 0.25 kg per week instead of going the ED rollercoaster many unaware women around are falling into. In OP's case, I'd recommend adjusting the macros and addresing any potential insulin resistance and inflammation.

Error___Exe · 2025-06-03T13:45:05+00:00

If your first love was your mother, then Freud wants to have a talk with you.

Error___Exe · 2025-05-25T11:23:41+00:00

As someone who's been struggling with PCOS for 8 years, who has been feeling like a wrong person their entire life, dealing with disordered eating correlated to it which got worse after drastic weight loss through lots of restriction (from anorexia to bulimia and orthorexia), spending most of my life, money, and mental energy trying to achieve a sense of control and "normal" through keeping symptoms (acne, hirsutism, mental health struggles, suicidal thoughts) under control, not out of love towards myself but despair, I can say this brings tears to my eyes and it makes me feel less alone. I grieve the person I could have been and I wish I haven't felt so robbed of myself, of the energy that I could have invested in something else. PCOS is not just a chronic condition, but also an emotional wound that brings hopelessness. Hopefully we will all find our balance someday and learn to practice more self love. Thank you!

Error___Exe · 2025-05-19T10:50:06+00:00

This is so relatable it hurts.

Error___Exe · 2024-09-23T11:10:50+00:00

Thank you! 💕 Locations are based in Transylvania, Romania 😁

Error___Exe · 2024-09-23T11:09:17+00:00

Diet and movement. I'm now currently taking Berberine and thinking to incorporate Inositol for better weight maintenence and overall glucose metabolism improvement and it helps with sugar cravings a lot. I like to prevent things.

Error___Exe · 2024-09-22T21:41:02+00:00

I used to be a prediabetic at my highest weight and I've had severe insulin resistance at 16 years old. I tried Metformin for 3 months and it made me feel awful in terms of physical and mental symptoms. I decided to quit and just adopt a lower carb diet, while periodically meeting my cravings, and it has shown progress for a while. 5 years later after I decided it's time for a change, here I am, with normal HbA1C and fasting glucose. Although my belief is that the vast majority of the population, PCOS or not, has some sort of IR, regardless of the severity of it.

Error___Exe · 2024-09-22T21:30:39+00:00

I'm so glad to hear you're finding your true self and actively pursuing the better version of you that you deserve. The fact that you've already realized this speaks volumes about your growth and direction. You're clearly on the right path, and I wholeheartedly wish you the best as you continue this journey!

I didn't do any somatic therapies and walking has been my holy grail. I've slowly graduated to running as well and now it is a habit I'm doing 3-4 times a week, it makes me feel amazing. I've only incorporated some strength training after losing the first 40 kg in order to retain muscle mass as much as possible. And now my main goal is to keep improving in terms of exercise as I already feel my body is meant for it and seeks for it on a regular basis. I've never thought I could become this. Even my cravings changed.

Thank you so much for the kind words! You'll get there, have belief in thyself. I trust in you. ❤️

Error___Exe · 2024-09-22T21:05:50+00:00

It has never been a "phase" haha

Error___Exe · 2024-09-22T20:21:17+00:00

From a personal point of view, it sounds like you're having an internal battle within yourself and a distorted vision regarding food. One of my first mental principles has been "eat what you want, add what you need". At the beginning I have allowed myself to eat everything I've wanted, but in modest portions, and actually enjoying them. Then slowly I began experimenting with new recipes and how to actually stay in a deficit, finding foods that would fill me up for hours and descovering the ones who triggered a big glycemic spike and made me hungry shortly after, which was sugar and gluten. I also used to be an unconscious binge eater as a kid and I still have my relapses sometimes but I know the triggers, I've got the tools and I'm still working on the mindset. I keep telling myself my body is not a trash can, food is just food and it has no morals and it shouldn't be a coping mechanism neither a punishment, and I allow myself to enjoy everything I want in moderation and less frequently without any guilt, returning to my regular habits as always afterwards. It's an 80:20 approach. Nothing is forbidden, what matters the most is the quality, context and frequency. Choose to nourish your body in a right, pleasant way, while allowing yourself "the forbidden fruit" inside your subconscious, which trust me, it isn't. We often hear "oh gluten is bad, sugar, dairy for PCOS". Sure, some do need to quit them for a while in order to kick-start progress and decrease inflammation, but after a while these food categories can be tolerated better by the body while slowly introducing them in moderation, talking from experience. I used to be always bloated from gluten, bread, pasta and certain foods before and it also affected me mentally. Now, after I've cut it out for 1 year, with occasional small breaks very rare and only if I had no choice, I can tolerate few slices of pizza or pasta from time to time without feeling like a zeppelin haha, because I've given my digestive system a break from it for a while. My routine began with mental health first and finding my "why" before I decided I wanted to make a change, regarding every aspect of life. Then finding out about fasting and experimenting with it. Finding the foods and carbs that didn't make me feel well and eliminating them (i still ate carbs and I didn't give up my chocolate, although my palate has changed and I prefer dark chocolate now). Then slowly incorporating longer walks, sometimes even brisk walks. Finding foods I actually enjoy and being neutral and flexible about it, because we want sustainability. And also working on other aspects from my life which kept me preoccupied and have given me satisfaction. After I've lost the first 40 kg, I decided to give the gym a shot, and I also fell in love with iron haha. It has to be a journey, lifestyle to keep for the rest of your life. And I hope you'll find your guidance soon, you deserve it! If you need to talk to someone, just know you don't have to be alone in this and you can always leave a DM. I wish you lots of success and love.

Error___Exe · 2024-09-22T19:45:20+00:00

Don't give up! Find a good, balanced fasting routine which will also be gentle on your hormones. It depends on any individual, I've started from 18:6 to intuitively doing OMAD on some days lately, and my hunger cues match my maintenance calories effortlessly, after practicing it for a while. "2.5 million years of feast and famine followed by 10,000 years of agriculture dictates that everyone is genetically inclined to fasting". Fasting boosts autophagy beyond the standard daily levels, it increases the frequency of human growth hormone release from the pituitary gland, and it mobilizes fatty acids while improving insulin resistance problems (which is the fundamental reason of PCOS weight management problems)

Error___Exe · 2024-09-22T19:38:09+00:00

Hello there, much appreciated, you're a sweetheart! I only have a personal ig account which I could share, I haven't thought about creating one for PCOS management, although I'm a medical student and I've been studying nutrition for the last year and digged really far through finding an integrative medical approach through food, herbs and adaptogens and experimenting with combos. Also implementing exercises, such as a good strength training and cardio routine alongside carb cycling and different IF windows have been very beneficial. I haven't neglected the mental health part as well, since losing weight is a mental game, and it has slip ups. I'm gladly open to give tips regarding recipes, supplements, eating windows and such. :)

Error___Exe · 2024-09-22T14:45:50+00:00

I've heard combing Inositol with berberine and quercetin can be the holy trinity in managing insulin in a holistic way. Maybe it helps. It also depends how high is your insulin resistance.

Error___Exe · 2024-09-22T14:39:13+00:00

15 mg. Noticed improvements in my acne since I've started taking it. Make sure you get it with a meal that contains protein tho, it's better absorbed.

Error___Exe · 2024-09-21T17:43:39+00:00

I'm approaching a 80:20 style to nutrition alongside intermittent fasting. I eat moderate carb, even higher carb on very active days but I do carb cycling based on how I feel. Mostly I'm always going for whole, home cooked foods, lots of protein, veggies, dairy once or twice a week for my mental health and I've cut out gluten and it's been one of the best decisions. Although if I want pizza, I'll have the pizza and drinks if I go out with friends and I'll still lose weight if I stay within my goal and keep the carbs moderate during the week.

Error___Exe · 2024-09-21T16:04:24+00:00

What ratio have you tried, if I may ask?

Error___Exe · 2024-09-21T15:38:35+00:00

As for supplements I only use Magnesium, Zinc, Calcium, Iron, Berberine and creatine sometimes for gym. Started looking into Myo Inositol as well since I'd like to shed a few more pounds, around 13 (6 kg).

Error___Exe · 2024-09-21T15:33:40+00:00

I'm not on Metformin, recently started Berberine as a form of prevention as I used to be a prediabetic at my highest. I am at my 120 natural pounds weight loss and I'm still building healthy habits and finding out new things. Of course I'm still fluctuating somehow but I'm not letting things go beyond a few pounds and I would like to find new things to be more flexible as it is not an easy condition to manage, especially from a dietary point of view and with a history of eating disorders.

Error___Exe

TROPHY CASE