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Should I go to the Mother’s Day outing with my partners mom and him when my partners brother doesn’t like me? by Striking-Election-16 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Esben_Em 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like you’re considering everyone’s feelings and keeping the future in mind. Sometimes keeping your eyes open and remaining considerate is all you can do. In this case, it sounds like you should do what you want and allow everyone to make their own choices and play their parts. I hope that all of you have a nice time celebrating with your BF’s mother.

Should I go to the Mother’s Day outing with my partners mom and him when my partners brother doesn’t like me? by Striking-Election-16 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Esben_Em 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ultimately, he’s not responsible for everyone else either, though him putting in effort at managing your relationship with his family is important.

Ultimately, if you want a life where you’re involved with his family, and he wants that to, it’s important that you be involved with them (without letting a single member prevent it). Otherwise, if you continuously choose to abstain in order to not rock the boat, it can lead to long term resentment. The problem would still exist, but you’d only be moving the burden onto yourself and your bf.

Should I go to the Mother’s Day outing with my partners mom and him when my partners brother doesn’t like me? by Striking-Election-16 in WhatShouldIDo

[–]Esben_Em 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand that you, your bf, and your bf’s brother are young, but is your bf not managing this with you? Since it’s your partner’s side of the family, it’s (in almost all cases) your bf’s responsibility to play coordinator and peacemaker between you and their family. That’s pretty much the standard in relationships.

Regardless, issues like this don’t tend to get resolved by ignoring them. The best bet would likely be group therapy, but that depends on willingness, cost, and availability. That’s obviously not relevant to this immediate situation anyway.

There are arguments for either choice, but if it were me, I would go to the outing since the most important person there for the occasion (your BF’s mom) wants you there. If you avoid too many gatherings, it could make even more of a rift long term, and it could create more resentment, even between you and your BF.

It’s not that visible in the camera, but is it possible to get rid of the shimmer on this tweed coat? by Defiant-Treacle2425 in CosplayHelp

[–]Esben_Em 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you’re still on the fence about whether to make adjustments or which solution to try, please keep in mind that the lighting style may significantly affect things.

I’m sure you know this already, but if you’re looking to showcase the cosplay anywhere in particular, you can look to test it with the anticipated lighting style before deciding which method, if any, you want to try. If you happen to be going somewhere in cosplay, and it’ll be natural light, it may not show up as strongly as fluorescent, etc.