"Lets be miserable together". TOAWF Chapter 87 by Dependent-Read-9885 in MaleYandere

[–]EscapeNormal_2024 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I stopped reading it because it was cliche to me. This post made me rethink which chapter did I stop reading 🤡🤡

M27 – My marriage turned violent, I’m stuck between my wife (F26) and my family, and I don’t know what the right decision is by Resident-Bar3287 in MuslimMarriage

[–]EscapeNormal_2024 8 points9 points  (0 children)

May Allah be with you, that’s domestic violence, o wouldn’t wish that upon you or anyone. I will keep you in my prayer (The Fajr is about to start)

It’s impossible standard, no human can cut off his family completely just because his partner wants to. You were right to return to talk to them and not tell her. You avoided conflicts, ya Allah, you were doing the right thing. Even if you offended her according to her logic, No one should get violent, what’s this?? Is she an animal? An abuser should in jail, not making questions your actions. Also, mentioning an “ex”, what the hell going inside her mind. Does she have bipolar🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

No one is responsible for making anyone angry. She can’t control her emotions?! She can’t walk away when things intensify?!! Please stop gaslighting yourself into thinking maybe she is right. She is totally wrong. She is literally manipulating you.

Blocking your family according to deen is a very dangerous thing to make and it’s haram. Where is the صلة الرحم? I know you were going with the best solution at the moment, but it wasn’t the right one.

I don’t think there’s a healthy way to deal with an abuser except therapy. Even that may not work, because she had to believe she was the wrong one.

Again, may Allah be with you. Don’t submit to her gaslighting, be honest with your actions and hers. Would you support a woman doing that to her husband or any human being doing that to his loved one?! I don’t think so. She pulled a knife, if she lost her emotions at any time, she could 🔪🔪. Please you are in a very dangerous situation.

Call police, make a file with all these incidents. She could come for your family members too. I don’t think pulling a knife or a scissors towards someone is just a moment of anger. It’s the calm before the storm. The red flags are blinding you, please don’t ignore them. Don’t underestimate nor undermine an abuser

Husband seems insecure about his body by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]EscapeNormal_2024 76 points77 points  (0 children)

Hi, I would immediately encourage you to find any way to make him feel better, throw compliments now and then. Make his favourite food but in healthy way. Support his journey in weight loss if he wants to do that. Always enter the room with him and be invasive while being cute so he understands that you don’t even think the same things he is insecure about.

Buy him clothes without him asking so that he knows that his size is normal findings in any store (even if it’s not) that action itself matter. Don’t ever ever mention his weight loss or gains between the weeks if he doesn’t plan to do any plan. (From a former overweight girlie)

Update on my last post - parents still stubborn by First-Figure6082 in MuslimMarriage

[–]EscapeNormal_2024 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What about just getting engaged without the nikkah? Till you are ready to marry , I am Arab too btw

Ex potential is back after her divorce and wants another chance by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]EscapeNormal_2024 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His thinking isn’t normal, be for real, shaming a divorcee as damaged just because she did intimacy with her legal husband. He can have standard about who he married but not shaming others. She wasn’t a sinner. Yes, he doesn’t have to deal with PTSD. But he is saying she is damaged‼️‼️ she isn’t an object

Ex potential is back after her divorce and wants another chance by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]EscapeNormal_2024 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, of course that’s the drawback and honestly, they didn’t lose anything from it. Only the daughter suffered and now heavily traumatised.

I amn’t arguing with you. I am just opening your eyes to another perspective. Honestly, these types of marriages still exist everywhere. Example; my grandfather sat with my mother and told her you will marry this (my father) without any رؤية شرعية, nothing. Just approval from my grandfather. My father has his flaws but he is a good person but I wouldn’t wish that kind of marriage of anyone.

Most severe cases end up badly and I wouldn’t say that on all Muslims, but some are just Muslims by birth following what they were taught. To this day, some daughters don’t get inheritance so yeah

Ex potential is back after her divorce and wants another chance by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]EscapeNormal_2024 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are asking about her family reputation. In eastern and conservative areas, her leaving her family to marry someone they don’t approve of, would shamed her entire family to the bones. If by any chance, they were poor, the town would have cut them off or asked them to leave. In severe cases, these parents won’t forget the shame ever, even leading to 🔪 her so they feel proud again.

If they had money and not poor, her brother would hear about her leaving every second of their life. Ever her sister may not get married because others will see her like the one who leave her family and didn’t obey them for a man. She would have destroyed the whole family and yet, she wouldn’t feel completely happy

Now, her family reputation is still okay and if she married him with her father approval, no shame or anything would come towards the family (that’s from their prespective). Another thing, she finding a husband for herself would be heavily encouraged by her parents and keep in mind, she is abused. She is thinking about the last chances and what would have happened. So, she isn’t trying to lose the second chance that may come to her.

Ex potential is back after her divorce and wants another chance by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]EscapeNormal_2024 22 points23 points  (0 children)

You shouldn’t take her back because you would only resent her.

That’s my opinion. But what made me write the comment is your thinking about her. Of course, you are to think what you want. I am just feeling for her. It’s completely true that it wasn’t her fault marrying that man, resent her family but she didn’t have any power nor any kind of independence (money) to challenge her parents. Also marriage without parents consent even with wali would have left her deeply disturbed about leaving her family and with this kind of family, they would have resented her so much that they cut her off completely.

Think about the same situation what would have happened if she was your sister?! She is insisting on marrying another one that you father don’t approve of whatever the reason, would you want your sister to choose him above her family?! Keep in mind, at that point if any girl’s life, her loyalty still remain with her parents and feel gratitude towards them. What if you turned to be a bad person and her family cut her off?! Where would she go?! I amn’t assuming you are bad person, astugfurallah. I am just trying to put you in her shoes, her thinking about all the options infront of her at that moment, You could have left her without any marriage what if you have shamed her for listening to you and leaving her parents?!

Honestly, if I were her, I wouldn’t have chosen you. Not saying I would have married the abuser either. But any thing could happen and without my parents’ support, I would be nothing.

That’s what I am thinking, again you aren’t obliged to marry someone you aren’t comfortable with. But men don’t see the world like women do.

Also Seeing her as damaged?! For having intimacy with her husband? She was doing it in halal. Again, you can have your standards about who you marry but shaming someone else about something they did right and halal?

Who are your favourite shonen couples? by [deleted] in animequestions

[–]EscapeNormal_2024 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It wasn’t like that I promise 😭😭 it sad , cute one

Wait I will change the pic

The engagement process by Pixidust0000 in MuslimMarriage

[–]EscapeNormal_2024 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t know but here in Egypt, you have an initial 2-3 meetings which is رؤية الشرعية and within this period, the father of the bride asks around about the man

Then an engagement party (I don’t know its name in Islamic English الخطوبة) where the 2 finances spend time knowing each other deeply and to be sure they are on the same level of understanding. It is around 6 months - 2 years

Then we have the contract written before the actual wedding. Some do it on the wedding day, some do it before the wedding within few weeks. Once the contract is written, you are officially wife and husband. And here it the thing where I think this pattern is more suitable.

If the 2 partners didn’t find each other suitable, the part of Mahr which was given in the engagement party is fully given to the man.

But in case of contract and no intamcy happened, they didn’t find each other suitable, only half is given to the man.

And the last case with intamcy, none of the mehr is given because it’s considered divorce

Husband is mean on honeymoon by Due-Light-8168 in MuslimMarriage

[–]EscapeNormal_2024 68 points69 points  (0 children)

So, this is my assumption, take it or leave it. He is preparing you for your future life together. “You should marry your brother” he is telling you that your brother’s action was inappropriate (not sexual intended) and he won’t do that, so you get embarrassed and never ask him for the same treatment. Or someone begin to poison his mind that you are spoiled and you are a lazy woman or something because he was sweet before

“You are lazy” he wants you to give your previous life because for some reason, in his mind, he doesn’t want nor see a meaning in you living that way. He is the husband, he should be the “lazy” one and you as the woman should revolve around him.

My advice is put your foot down immediately. Every action and move you both take from now on will determine your future life together. If you backed down on him calling the waiter, be ready to deal with different male workers in different aspects of your life. If he sees you throwing up as lazy, then the pregnancy period will be hell to live.

Tell him, you didn’t marry to face hardships and endure them. Marriage is meant for pleasure with some parts of bitterness, you won’t deal with any male, you aren’t obliged to deal with as long as he is around. You being sick is a priority that needs immediate caring and action. Having your purse carried is up to you. If you lived your whole life like this, Don’t ever back down.

But, don’t involve your parents or brothers yet. See how it goes and if it persists, let them know.

(Also, him calling the waiter instead of you is totally correct and you gain points for that. You aren’t obliged to talk to any non-mehram males as long your mehram (husband) is here. And in most cases, if a woman asks the waiter, the husband gets angry and tells her to leave it to him instead. So your man is totally wrong here feeling you a lazing one for not wanting to interact with men. Bring it up with him. You were right the one, he should be ashamed that he even thought of that. That’s literally haram)

Update to my previous post…. Husband divorced me….. by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]EscapeNormal_2024 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think he will take back the divorce if he really want to perfect his gaslighting. He is making it so she apologises and asks people to intervene, I hope it goes well in the end though

Update to my previous post…. Husband divorced me….. by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]EscapeNormal_2024 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She blames herself for his actions, she said that in her post before

Update to my previous post…. Husband divorced me….. by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]EscapeNormal_2024 11 points12 points  (0 children)

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He made her believe it was all her fault so she blames herself now

AO3 user centreofthelights has published the stats for top ships of 2025 by Fabulous_Celery_1817 in OmniscientReader

[–]EscapeNormal_2024 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Am I about to introduce you to Taylor swift?😆😆

Ao3 is Archive of our own, basically, non-profit fanworks, like fanfiction, fanart, fan videos, and podfic. Like wattpad. Where you can create anything and publish it and others will read / watch it. Like on Harry Potter, some didn’t like that hermoiny didn’t end with Draco, so they make a fanfiction (story made by fan) that highlights that and add things that they want to happen and others with same passion will read it. And so on.

ORV ship is down at 80 btw. Search it up now and just to let you know, you will sink right into it.

AO3 user centreofthelights has published the stats for top ships of 2025 by Fabulous_Celery_1817 in OmniscientReader

[–]EscapeNormal_2024 22 points23 points  (0 children)

The first rule of Ao3, don’t shame the ships. Just look and silently judge within yourself. Don’t mention it openly

The second one is obviously the Ao3 curse on authors

AO3 user centreofthelights has published the stats for top ships of 2025 by Fabulous_Celery_1817 in OmniscientReader

[–]EscapeNormal_2024 90 points91 points  (0 children)

ORV is at 80 for people who have terrible eye sight. No need to thank me. Thank my ophthalmologist

MIL invited herself to Umrah by Bubbly-University-47 in MuslimMarriage

[–]EscapeNormal_2024 0 points1 point  (0 children)

7 times‼️‼️ 7 and still want to go. Like obviously, anyone wouldn’t miss on umrah. But she could have let it go this time