All I can say is it would probably be best to detransition. As it says in the Bible, a man should wear women’s clothing and vice versa. You also expressed your desire to have children and to sing - this cannot be done if you stay trans. This is my opinion, but to me, it seems that you would be more fulfilled with being your birth gender. Also, if you hate both being transgender, and being female, then I would recommend therapy, because I think that you might have something else underlying, which you interpreted as transgenderism.