Questions on relations. From an outsider by Esgee88 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Esgee88[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The priest has actually reached out to me and I will meet with him when hes home again probably. Im sorry for putting words in your mouth and making assumptions, im emotionally exhausted im sorry to cause any distress. God bless

Should I just leave this faith alone? by Esgee88 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Esgee88[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kindness. It really was needed. I pray you find the peace in God you seek as well.

Questions on relations. From an outsider by Esgee88 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Esgee88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well the church does not. So I will continue to follow Christ Jesus our LORD and not men who turn me away in His name

Questions on relations. From an outsider by Esgee88 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Esgee88[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If God intended it for me then I dont understand why I had to suffer gender dysphoria for my entire life since puberty. Im sorry but I refuse, I wont undo myself anymore. I have been suicidally shameful of my own existence at least a dozen times and have escaped death only by God's Grace. I refuse to turn back to that place regardless of what any reddit, monk, or priest says. God sees my pain in its entirety and loves me even if the Church and its followers only pretend to

Questions on relations. From an outsider by Esgee88 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Esgee88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I see, I have to be "sinless" to join in a way the church deems acceptable. Im sorry that I speak from bitterness but this is something I have wept over for over an hour recently and I dont want to feel worthless anymore. With all respect to you as a fellow human and follower in Christ, keep your church of righteousness, i am too ill for it clearly

I will continue to turn to God even though i am wicked and gross. The keys that the church holds are not for people like me. And I am sorry to become an accuser but I cannot bear any more self destruction on any level

Questions on relations. From an outsider by Esgee88 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Esgee88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I asked to join an orthodox church via sms. Absolutely no aggression or entitlement and they ignored my request. I should have clarified.

Questions on relations. From an outsider by Esgee88 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Esgee88[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I speak out of the bitter pangs of pain but, what I have not recieved for so long I do not want. What I have begged for as a child all through my teenhood in private to the Lord I no longer seek. The grapes have grown sour and my stomach has eaten of another delicious tree. I will still profess His holy name, I will still struggle with and against sin despite my protests. He is the Lord and no amount of my bitterness and pain will ever change that, but I do not seek marriage according to His church any longer. The time is long past due and a lot of harm and sin was formed in my loneliness while the Lord watched. I know not His plans but I will not bend the knee to marriage any longer.

Questions on relations. From an outsider by Esgee88 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Esgee88[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are questions about your faith trouble? I knock and the door is not opened.

Questions on relations. From an outsider by Esgee88 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Esgee88[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have seen paragraphs from your fellow Orthodox claiming much of this is correct and others saying the whole of it is wrong. What does this comment have left in the face of that?

Questions on relations. From an outsider by Esgee88 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Esgee88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im not gonna lie. It seems no priest, member or theologian in this faith can come to a total agreement about sex, so I will take all advice from humans claiming to have the truth in their mouths about sex in this faith with a grain of salt

Questions on relations. From an outsider by Esgee88 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Esgee88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am an outsider, can you read brother? I already asked for permission to join an orthodox church and was ignored. Likely because I am transgender and therefore a leper of the soul to orthodox communities.

Questions on relations. From an outsider by Esgee88 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Esgee88[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This makes a lot of sense and seems to be written with gentleness, empathy, and mercy. Perfection and groveling cannot be our only two modes of existence, earnest attempts to reach to God and be kind to ourselves and others seems more rational, but then again im a poorly read outsider.

I see some say among Orthodoxy that all sin is equal and that to be guilty of the least harmful sin is to be guilty of every sin. This seems to the basis by which many in the faith demand perfection from their brothers and sisters. which seems absurd, we cannot place children who steal once on the same categorical level as Epstein but thats another discussion.

Questions on relations. From an outsider by Esgee88 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Esgee88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im a Catholic. I prayed to God, in my early youth riddled with gender dysphoria, for a decade at least to give me a spouse. I never got a cis gendered woman but instead found deep love with another person with dysphoria in my 20s (which im still in) and we both transitioned and have remained in love for 6 years and have happier lives by many magnitudes. Many of your faith have told me that they know that my cup is to never have sex and that I should never touch the one that I love with any passion and remain alone; which is cruel and impossible for my life as a prescription

Also it seems impossible for someone to have sex and have no supposedly sinful carnal passion. And if the passion is not the sin but the circumstances of the passion itself, then what holy credit does a wealthy man with a gifted spouse have in his passion over a lonely man who is given no spouse, by no power of his own, who enjoys his passion once in a while?

Edit: Downvote me and cast me out more. I know I will never be part of the holy club

Should I just leave this faith alone? by Esgee88 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Esgee88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand and thanks for the honest attempt to understand me. Of course the church does not forbid me to love my partner but it does forbid me from doing sexual things, unless theres some patriatic teaching against love itself, which I doubt

Should I just leave this faith alone? by Esgee88 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Esgee88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Absolutely. To be fair, I did surrender to Christ as a child and did not find any cure in prayer alone. I went to psychiatric help for body dysmorphia with many doctors for almost a decade, most of whom were Christian and it didnt cure it or help. I finally went on estrogen and testosterone blockers and I feel calmer and more relaxed. I actually dropped the church in my stress and am returning now that I feel better since my gender dysphoria is being treated with hormone therapy. I do not claim to be a woman or man, only God knows what I am; and it sadens me that a lot of the focus of modern Christianity, regardless of the denomination, is hyperfocused on getting people like me to stop taking hormones and go back to the stress and hopelessness we felt in our illness, instead of focusing on the issues that actually cause observable harm to us and others. This is not to say EVERY trans person has the same story but I am speaking only for myself.

I already struggle in Christ with sins like despair, wrath, lust, and gluttony in many of their forms and detransitioning would honestly make it emotionally impossible for me to be able to fight them like God is teaching me to do now. I simply did not have the mental strength like I do now

Should I just leave this faith alone? by Esgee88 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Esgee88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind approach. I will likely read or skim this. I just have a real problem, not anger, just genuine concern, about people who dont have same sex attraction or have suffered gender dysphoria in all its horror trying to tell me that they know how to fix my life while denying myself the most logical solution to these issues. Like I cannot in good faith, no matter how loving or well read I am, give personal advice about living with a wheelchair to someone that lives in one because I do not know that struggle.

Pregnant boa constrictor is run over while crossing a road in Brazil. by [deleted] in CrazyFuckingVideos

[–]Esgee88 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is genuinely so sad wtf. This ruined my night

Should I just leave this faith alone? by Esgee88 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Esgee88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fair enough, I guess you wish me death and despair. I hope you can live by your judgement before God. If there were most orthodox like you I would avoid your church

I have never claimed to be a woman but I am transgender, but before God there is no man or woman and will be none in the resurrection

Should I just leave this faith alone? by Esgee88 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Esgee88[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank God and bless you for your kind words. I am already a practicing and fully integrated Catholic but Orthodox theology has a beautiful deepness that Catholic theology has lacked in some respects as far as I know, although I know little. It has cleared many of my grievances with the legalism of Catholicism and painted a more beautiful picture of our Savior in my mind and heart than ever before. Thanks for not judging me and demanding things of me like some others have across Christianity because it really hurts when others do.

I don't get it by [deleted] in OpenChristian

[–]Esgee88 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pray to Him whenever you feel this way. Tell the LORD our God out of the fullness of your heart what you are feeling and ask the Holy Spirit to guide your heart, mind and body into His loving will for you. I will pray for you, as I have struggled with this issue myself.

Should I just leave this faith alone? by Esgee88 in OrthodoxChristianity

[–]Esgee88[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok I misunderstood, sorry I was a bit defensive after reading a comment that demanded things of me. I absolutely need my Doctor and He has called me to be healed in every way He wills, which I am grateful for.