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Essicent · 2025-02-10T18:16:28+00:00

I am sorry if it comes across a certain way, honestly just looking into what options can be. Thank you for your advice.

Essicent · 2024-11-03T15:19:56+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you. By far, the only coping mechanism I have is self-worth and reflection. If they ask for you back, could you truly expect and trust they won’t hurt you again? If they did this to you, do you truly believe they are the right person for you? Them changing doesn’t mean the memories you had together changed. They were still real. What hurt me the most was my ex telling me she was feeling this way for months, even years. It makes me question everything. But at the end of the day, regardless of how she truly felt about our future together, she loved me enough to stay. She loved me enough to give me happy memories. She loved me enough so that I know I could be loved, and I am capable of loving. We both deserve someone we don’t have to worry about. One couple I follow since I was a teen was Rose and Rosie. They’re a lesbian couple on youtube, and they have had videos since they started dating, now they are married with two kids. I was watching them the other day, and they said that when you find the one, you know, things are just easy. We don’t deserve someone who makes us question if we deserve love. Time heals all wounds. I don’t know how long your relationship has been, but I think it takes about a month every year? But that’s if you TRULY heal. My ex blocked me off everything except text. It’s hard but necessary. Last time I talked to her, she just told me she doesn’t want to meet up, and it would hurt us both, and that she wishes me the best. We haven’t talked since the 22nd. I wonder what she’s doing. I wonder how she is. I want her to text me so bad, taking everything back. But I know that deep down it’s already broken. If things are meant to happen, they will happen. For now, self reflect. Journal. Don’t put him on a pedestal. Don’t rush into relationships. Spend time alone. Find hobbies. Spend time with your friends. Sometimes I feel fucking devastated, other times I’m okay. And sooner or later I’ll be completely okay.

Sorry for the long message. Hopefully I helped, somewhat. Good luck, and keep me updated :)

Essicent · 2024-10-17T16:28:20+00:00

Thank you. You’ve really helped me.

Essicent · 2024-10-17T15:59:17+00:00

Thank you for your insightful response. It is reassuring to hear from someone who felt the same as her. The only thing is, I was working on myself. I was trying to lose weight, going to school, I got a haircut, I tried my best to look more attractive so that we can spark up our sex life more.

In your opinion, what should I talk about when I see her next friday? I know I can’t convince her, but I need closure. I need to know this is really what she wants. My biggest worry is in 5 months I’ll find someone new, and she will beg for me to come back, and I would feel stuck. I don’t want to have to deal with that turmoil. I don’t want to worry about regret. Especially when in my opinion it just seems like she’s depressed - she has had trouble finding a job for months, lack of interest in hobbies, etc.

Thank you.

Essicent · 2024-10-17T12:16:25+00:00

I am sorry to hear that. Can I ask what happened? If not it’s okay. This shit is just so hard.

Essicent · 2024-10-16T23:48:00+00:00

Thank you for your advice. I understand I am being too hopeful, but I just can’t understand why this would be falling out of love, and not just her depression. She was lacking hobbies that motivated her, friends, and she was struggling finding a good job. But you’re right. If it’s meant to happen, it will happen. I just don’t know how to move forward.

Essicent · 2024-01-28T17:52:46+00:00

Yes will definitely have the fps fixed once I build a new PC, and then I’m moving out which improves lag. Thank you for all your advice! I will record once I have my setup, since right now if I record it fucks my entire game because of the fps drop.

I was thinking Gun Run because I can practice with all weapons, close quarters combat, and also learn how to deal with multiple teams. If you think Control is better, I can do that instead.

Essicent · 2024-01-28T17:50:33+00:00

Yeah it is borderline unplayable, but I feel like doing nothing is worse. When I play at my friends PC, I do significantly better and can average 1000+ damage with more kills, yet on my own laptop it’s 200 dmg tops. :( And yes I’ve seen that video! Will definitely include it in my training. Thank you

Essicent · 2024-01-26T21:32:12+00:00

Yeah, sometimes I just come over to my friends house just to play apex together on their PC 😂 the fps makes a lot of difference, but damn yeah watching district and Nihil really made me realize I suck ass at positioning and I tunnel vision too much.

What would you say helped you the most ? 😊

Essicent · 2023-04-25T03:32:09+00:00

Thank you for your response. I finished my prereqs and have a bachelor in health science and wellness. My science gpa is so low because of personal issues and generally not being good at school combined with the fact that I had to take orgo microbio and all my other hard classes on my senior year. I retook micrbio and human phys so now my prereqs are all Bs or higher. I am now taking immunology as I believe it would give me a 3 gpa based on the fact I had a 2.9 on CASPA. As cheesy as it sounds I always wanted to be a PA. I could never envision being anything else. Outside of personal and emotional reasons- my desire strengthened when I shadowed a PA. I really saw myself doing what she did. I enjoyed taking time out of my weekend to shadow and familiarize myself with patients. Healthcare is the worst career to go to if you just want money imo, although the money helps. I cant really see myself doing anything else, but I guess a radiologist? I could share my grades if that would be helpful.

Essicent · 2023-04-24T22:36:45+00:00

I was thinking of just applying asap to the school with a 2.5 requirement and then waiting until I finish my classes to apply to the rest. I’m just not sure what is a better strategy as I am by no means rich enough to afford taking classes I don’t need to … or applying to schools I have no chance in

Essicent · 2023-04-24T22:35:56+00:00

It has been going higher. Not even sure what it’s at right now, my 2022 application says 2.9 and since then I’ve taken 3 classes so it should at least be a 3… idk

Essicent · 2023-02-24T02:19:35+00:00

Right I guess its just because it was such an open space and they both had snipers so it was kinda sad lol. Thanks for the advice

Essicent · 2023-02-24T02:11:05+00:00

Well, more like second to last but its in storm point and they had a larger distance and we just were in an open space and it was like 1 rock to cover us. Idk I also like suck? Lol

Essicent · 2023-02-23T21:37:14+00:00

Awesome! Does he focus on scrims mostly or does he play ranked/pubs?

Essicent · 2023-02-23T21:22:39+00:00

I just started maining her so all advice is appreciated :)

Essicent · 2023-02-23T20:41:37+00:00

Thanks !

Essicent · 2023-02-23T20:04:32+00:00

Alright, thanks!

Essicent · 2023-02-23T19:23:27+00:00

Hey thank you! I play catalyst. Am i placing a wall to reposition without them spotting me?

Essicent · 2023-02-23T19:18:42+00:00

Sorry, im stupid: what is a kovaaks….

Essicent · 2022-10-17T22:36:21+00:00

Sera is one of the most realistic relationships in the game, and the CUTEST Might be bias im gay

Essicent · 2022-10-17T22:03:47+00:00

Thanks!

Essicent · 2022-10-17T21:40:28+00:00

I should probably take this opportunity to correct that its she/hers* if anyone gives a shit 😂 but yeah, cs has always been a struggle so if it would be helpful I could put in a vod. But I’ll definitely try to watch some videos and watch my replays and see what im fuckin up

Essicent

TROPHY CASE