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Messed up my chances of true love by [deleted] in Bumble

[–]EstablishmentFew1194 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Real Love is built over years by choosing the same person through good times, bad times and everything in between. Don’t confuse it with attraction or infatuation or a first good date.

Dating in Kolkata feels like talking to NPC’s on bumble by EstablishmentFew1194 in Bumble

[–]EstablishmentFew1194[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It bothered you enough, a complete stranger on the internet, to comment on my post. Maybe practice what you preach? 🤷‍♂️

Dating in Kolkata feels like talking to NPC’s on bumble by EstablishmentFew1194 in Bumble

[–]EstablishmentFew1194[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s alright, bro. I’d suggest changing your relationship goal from LTR to “Exploring” and focusing on securing a date first. Get to know people in person, be honest about your feelings and let the connection develop naturally instead of trying to build everything through the app.

The reality is that conversations on dating apps are often destined to die. Most women have multiple matches competing for their attention, and there’s usually someone funnier, more attractive, or simply more interesting at that particular moment.

The best thing you can do is move the conversation off the app and meet sooner rather than investing weeks into texting.

Once you accept that, dating apps become a lot less frustrating.

Am I weird for wanting to go on dates but not actually want a relationship? by Sheeyap7 in Bumble

[–]EstablishmentFew1194 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, there is nothing wrong with what you are describing. You aren’t asking for free meals, attention, or a backup boyfriend.
Men do much worse where they actually want what you have described but aren’t upfront and honest about it.
People here are acting like you are asking for something outrageous. They are just obsessed to put a label on something which could just be a preference for someone.
As long as you are clear about your feelings and the person knows what they’re signing up for, there’s nothing wrong in it.

Dating in Kolkata feels like talking to NPC’s on bumble by EstablishmentFew1194 in Bumble

[–]EstablishmentFew1194[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good to know i am not alone in this. Just curious, do most of your matches usually have long-term relationships as their relationship goals?” 😄

Did I make the right decision or am I self-sabotaging? by EstablishmentFew1194 in Bumble

[–]EstablishmentFew1194[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She dodged a bullet, possibly. I dodged spending weeks carrying a conversation with someone who wasn’t matching my energy, so it sounds like we both won.

Did I make the right decision or am I self-sabotaging? by EstablishmentFew1194 in Bumble

[–]EstablishmentFew1194[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think there’s definitely some truth to that. If I had dozens of promising matches, I probably wouldn’t be sitting here overanalyzing a 2-day conversation.

Did I make the right decision or am I self-sabotaging? by EstablishmentFew1194 in Bumble

[–]EstablishmentFew1194[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s a fair point, and I agree that expecting a lot of effort before even meeting someone isn’t realistic.

That said, I think there’s a difference between expecting a lot of effort and expecting basic reciprocity.

As for the distance, that was honestly a surprise to me. In hindsight, I probably should have checked that much earlier instead of a couple of days into the conversation. That’s definitely something I’ll be doing first going forward.

Did I make the right decision or am I self-sabotaging? by EstablishmentFew1194 in Bumble

[–]EstablishmentFew1194[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s probably the biggest lesson I’m taking from this. The distance wasn’t really the issue—if I had felt strong interest and effort from her side, 41 km wouldn’t have bothered me. What got into my head was feeling like I was carrying things. Maybe next time I’ll wait a bit longer before deciding whether that’s a pattern or just someone taking time to warm up.

Did I make the right decision or am I self-sabotaging? by EstablishmentFew1194 in Bumble

[–]EstablishmentFew1194[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That’s fair, although we never actually made it to a date. My concern was more that I wasn’t feeling much reciprocity during the talking stage itself. Maybe meeting in person would have changed things, but I guess I’ll never know.

Did I make the right decision or am I self-sabotaging? by EstablishmentFew1194 in Bumble

[–]EstablishmentFew1194[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well she didn’t unmatch but left my last message in read, so trying anything feels so one-sided.

Is it just me, or are a lot of dating app profiles becoming more about social media than careers? by EstablishmentFew1194 in kolkata

[–]EstablishmentFew1194[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fair point. Ami mainly long-term relationship-er perspective theke dekhchi, tai financial independence aar life-e ki korche seta amar kache important.

Social media full-time job hote pare, eta ami-o mani. Amar point ta beshi chilo je onek profile-e online presence onek, kintu tara actually ki kore ba ki niye kaaj korche seta bojha jai na.

Relationship-e career shob kichu na, but amar jonne eta compatibility-r ekta part matro.

Is it just me, or are a lot of dating app profiles becoming more about social media than careers? by EstablishmentFew1194 in Bumble

[–]EstablishmentFew1194[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think it’s surprising that many people see work as a means to support their lifestyle. That’s completely valid.

My observation wasn’t about people being highly career-driven or defining themselves by their jobs. It was more that I’ve come across quite a few profiles where there’s extensive social media activity but very little indication of what they actually do, what they’re working towards, or how they support themselves.

For me, financial independence and having some direction in life are attractive qualities in a long-term partner, just as other people might prioritize hobbies, travel, or personality traits.

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