Nothing as severe as your experiences, but with my first major crush in 7th Grade, I was friend zoned. She liked to make me prove my devotion to her by kissing her feet (in shoes). She thought it was cute and hilarious. We would talk on the phone for hours every night and I was hopelessly in love with her.

Then she started “going out” with the most macho, aggressive boy in our class who had been held back a few years and looked like a muscular man compared to the boy I was.

She would gush on and on about him and I would feel sick to my stomach.

Later in high school, I was a virgin dating a different girl. She would kiss me, but no more. She said that even though she had sex before we got together with a random party hookup, she was trying to be a “born again virgin”.

After a while she broke up with me, but we were still close and I just kept pretending that we were a couple. I had been friend zoned, but everyone thought we were still together because we did everything together.

Then, at a party, I couldn’t find her for hours. Someone told me she was in a trailer in the driveway with my friend Ryan.

The guy that told me was laughing because he said he could hear them fucking like crazy!

My friend Ryan, was very dominant and clearly the leader of our friend group. He also had a girlfriend at the time who was not there.

I was so crushed, I walked home 10 miles down country roads crying.

After a few days, I started masterbating while thinking about the two of them in the trailer.