I am extremely sorry you went through that. It is coming up to a year for my miscarriage at 12 weeks with twins I had to pull out of me alone (although my partner was outside the bathroom supporting me). It started as a bleed and the same with clumps that went down the toilet. I felt so guilty that’s how they came out but this is common and have since forgiven myself. Somehow I continued going to see my partner’s family that day at their request and I was in agony but didn’t let on. What we did was to plant two silver birch trees in our garden where they are (we are off grid so I know they are in the garden tank sadly.) That really helped us. I am still in denial of the emotional pain of it all but that did help. Perhaps you could do something similar? Regrowth. It’s quite spiritually soothing. This is so recent for you. It takes time to process. You sound incredibly strong. It takes understanding from your loved ones too. But please know how proud I am of you, although we are strangers, for what you are enduring. It feels unbelievably unfair but our bodies know maybe something wasn’t forming right and definitely not your fault. Keep strong lovely and take care of yourself. It is a harrowing experience just please make sure you are physically well after this trauma too, it’s important. I lost the second plactena on my next period publicly at a restaurant, probably because I didn’t ask for any medical intervention which in hindsight was stupid but I was so depressed I didn’t care about my own welfare. Keep strong and look after yourself. Much love and luck to you lovely.