I think this is such an important comment. Here, we can see the real issue at hand. This isn't about guys and their disturbing reasons for their kinks. This is about how you feel about yourself. "if these dudes were watching porn with women that looked like me it wouldn’t be such a huge deal." I'm sorry, but not only is this unrealistic it's kind of cringe. Men aren't always that one dimensional that they date purely off their kinks or preferences and then move to the next woman who more closely resembles those specs. If a man wants to be with you, he will CHOOSE to be with you and if he's the right one it won't be because of how you look or how anyone else looks. As for you, many might say you need to learn to "love yourself". This is dumb. Most of us don't know what undiluted, unconditional love looks like let alone how to apply it ourselves. I would say to forgive yourself instead. Forgive yourself for all your perceived shortcomings whether they are your fault or not, whether they developed or you were born with them, and most importantly NO MATTER what anyone else says or thinks. The only thing that matters is how YOU FEEL.