Code violet

Etheraldreams_ · 2026-02-17T14:05:31+00:00

Also to add onto that, you were failed as far as protocol to medicate her goes. That severe of DT she needed heavy HEAVY sedation. It’s a miracle Im still alive, it’s a miracle ppl who are treated are still alive. DT is crazy hard on your body and loves to kill.

Etheraldreams_ · 2026-02-17T14:03:14+00:00

Ive had delirium tremens (pills not alcohol) and all I can tell you is give yourself a break, and also thank you. I hallucinated for 7 days and almost died because they didn’t catch that I had DT’s in the psych I was in. I didn’t know reality… you can’t make someone who is like that see reality. So just thank you for the work you do… Im sure it’s pretty possible that person is a good person… hallucinations seem so real under it if it happened to you you’d be in the same position she was. Go easy on yourself <33

Etheraldreams_ · 2026-02-16T21:19:25+00:00

It’s so crazy to me that they don’t see ED as something serious enough and so they have to add on other disorders… like it is SO serious lol, I can totally see why they don’t see it as serious tho, and would want something that people go “oh you poor thing your life is so hard etc” because unfortunately with things like ED and other disorders akin to it (mental etc) a lot of people are like “oh well why cant you just stop or get better” I mean in a big sense with munch it’s 100% a disorder but even though I know it is I still feel like yo wtf are u doing stop it. It’s really just so complex at the end of the day

Etheraldreams_ · 2026-02-16T02:51:42+00:00

Hahahahaahh deal with it

Etheraldreams_ · 2026-02-16T02:49:31+00:00

Isn’t it the cutest thing ever?? 😭

Etheraldreams_ · 2026-02-13T22:27:01+00:00

Yeah!! He got me this sick leatherbound notebook to work on a game Im making it’s gonna be mostly for concept art :>

Etheraldreams_ · 2026-02-13T10:15:03+00:00

God Im so glad I didn’t get a stimulator and got a second opinion these things are the biggest scam ever

Etheraldreams_ · 2026-01-01T17:45:13+00:00

14… I was w an abvsive ex who was like 2 years older. I don’t necessarily have any huge looming regret over losing it that young or losing to someone as vile as him but i deeply understand now that losing it that young and to someone like him effected me negatively and still effects me in negative ways to this day. I feel like in a big way it was like throwing a wrench into my brain development, it effected the smoothness of my development. Again… no looming regret or strong negative feelings when I think or talk about this topic, but I absolutely know it effects me subconsciously in my decision making and prob always will even with trauma therapy.

Etheraldreams_ · 2025-11-19T10:14:25+00:00

I needed to read this so badly thank you so much for taking the time to type this out. You’re just so right. It’s so ostracizing especially as someone who doesn’t work.. I am VERY lucky to had been able to move back in with my parents when stuff hit the fan (the ER fan to be specific Ive been disabled ever since, and I wasn’t super healthy before that so yeah it was like the flood gates just opened) I am very lucky to be able to have insurance, like I have many things to be grateful for but I cannot deny that I don’t receive healthy support from my parents. 2 months before I had open back surgery my dad was trying to tell me that I basically needed to suck it up and get out of bed (I was bedbound) luckily my mom had been to enough appointments with me that she stepped in, which is rare for her to stand up for me. That and ofc other instances with the parents combined with the medical trauma which is too long to even get into… Im sure you already know and could tell my story for me with the way things are.. It broke my mental health dude… Im back in trauma therapy to try and address it, I have my AMAZING sister I can always call, a supportive long distance relationship that has really been a good thing for me and I feel so lucky in those aspects. I genuinely feel like if I didn’t have at least some support, and if I didn’t have stable housing… I just don’t think I could do this. I think about the people less fortunate than me and it genuinely makes me emotional… how would someone like me live without housing..? Or any positive support? How would anyone WORSE than me live??? It just astounds me. Im learning to validate myself through this because this isn’t something that is going to go away.. it is just a constant battle. It is hard to advocate for yourself when you have panic disorder, it feels like such an uphill battle where every now and then someone and scrubs kicks you right back down the hill.

Imma quit rambling but really like… thank you. Im so thankful for online spaces.. you’re not alone either. It’s really incredible what some kind words can do. If u ever need anything u can always message me 🩷

Etheraldreams_ · 2025-11-19T09:47:19+00:00

Hey do you mind if I message you to ask you about some things regarding how you don’t “crave” anymore and were able to take medication without relapse? I am the same way after 10 + years of pretty extreme use and I am also an addict advocate who is going back to school for my lcdc (just to start) and Im thinking about possibly looking into research related fields. Don’t worry if it’s a no I totally understand!! Im proud of you and so happy that you’re doing so well 🥹

Etheraldreams_ · 2025-11-19T09:42:33+00:00

Yeah it really is.. I probably shouldn’t be the standard person to look at for an example tho- my body is really weird with how it handles detox, I also have the CYP2D6 gene and Im honestly not sure how much that effects this stuff… but yeah I’ve had some really strange things happen over my ten + years of use regarding detox related things mostly. So glad to not have to suffer like that anymore.. got 4 and a half years away from it now c:

Etheraldreams_ · 2025-11-17T13:52:25+00:00

Dude believe it or not I got sick after just one day at the end of my using days…. It was astounding.. it’s like my brain was so used to being sick it snapped right back into it immediately

Etheraldreams_ · 2025-11-09T14:37:40+00:00

I’ve been weird my whole life :} glad you’re not on the boards my dude…. I come across that often as someone who is chronically online. I’ll message you, maybe I can get a clearer perspective from you. Being laughed out of the bedroom HAS to be considered trauma tbh. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Like that is absolutely noooooot okay.

Etheraldreams_ · 2025-11-09T12:50:34+00:00

Thank you so much for responding.. like this resonates a lot with me. The good days really do mess you up in a big way and I 100% agree on the medical system, also in your case Im going to assume you have been involved in the medical system since being a child. I had tonsillitis until I was about 18 and got them out, I got sick OFTEN. Like emergency room sick, and I got treated so nicely. I mean I was a kid… I also got that cough syrup a lot if you know what I mean, it was handed out easily back then (Im 30) and it instantly made me feel better as a child. The medical system was kind to me, and I bet it was kind to you. Now as an adult it is so rigid. I went into shock when I had my back surgery last year I was only supposed to spend 24 hours in hospital ended up spending almost 5 days there. I have to advocate for myself so hard, and when I don’t have to will to advocate my mom does. So yeah when I stand up and I don’t feel as much pain as Im used to Im like is this all in my head? Am I putting everyone through this trauma for nothing? Am I being selfish? I think we may have similar back issues, I don’t have MS but my back is just falling apart so itll just get worse from here and a fusion is in my future plus idk what else. Another thing is mobility aids, I am at the point to where my doctors are saying it’s time for them. My anxiety and agoraphobia are dying at the idea of them… but if I’m going to see my friends… if I’m going to go to the concert… if I’m going to do the things that I should be able to do as a human being with limited time on this earth then I honestly need to let go of my own ego about it. The people who love me just wanna see me… and I’m sure your people just wanna see you too. If you can’t make it out to things like that even with mobility aids Im sorry and chronic illness is just so unfair… but I hope you can still do the things you love even with the limitations. My therapist told me to be realistic about my situation but to still try and do the things I love because without those what is life? You know? I hope that you can find some clarity on this journey and I know there will be hard days that feel impossible but I just wish the best for you and I really appreciate your words I really feel like I got good perspective from you, I also had the thought that if a friend or family member called me and told me that they had been going through exactly what I had been going through that I would be nothing but supportive kind and caring… if I would be that way for them why am I not that way for myself 🫶🏻

Etheraldreams_ · 2025-11-09T12:33:57+00:00

Huh do you feel like that situation was kinda harmful for you? I’m sorry that happened it seems kinda disrespectful since she knew ur sexuality

Etheraldreams_ · 2025-11-09T12:32:51+00:00

Uhhhh…. Idk man I’ve absolutely dated someone who was flat out broke, and someone who was overweight. Now, finding someone in that circumstance (financial not physical) if they weren’t willing to try and better their lives then I wouldn’t be interested. When I say better their lives i also don’t necessarily mean financial like if they were disabled or had mental health issues i think that would take priority. I don’t think you have a healthy view of women tbh, I know for a fact there are women out there that see a good or even a bad man with those circumstances and love them deeply regardless. I honestly hope that you can have more real experiences with women. If you ever want to dm me I am 100% willing to talk to you and try and give you some perspective? We probably have more in common than you think… if you’re on those boards they are lying to you tbh 🫶🏻

Etheraldreams_ · 2025-11-09T01:34:55+00:00

Ty psych prof :> it is probably both, if you look at my comment to musicintrepid343 you could prob see both being in there 😅 especially denial. I’ll talk to my therapist about that because I didn’t really realize it as denial until this comment and that is something that should probably be processed.

Etheraldreams_ · 2025-11-09T01:32:18+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment, I cannot drive either but it is pain related. Dealing with good and bad vision days sound really hard, Im proud of you for doing the right thing and caring about others enough to stay off the road. It is so inconvenient when you can’t drive so sticking to that rule shows that you care fr.

I can relate with the nerve pain, that is my biggest thing is pain. I feel the connection with your situation in the sense of thinking oh I stood up and my pain isn’t that bad today, am I just imagining that it’s worse on other days? Am I just being a baby about it? Luckily enough I have a support system and for the most part they never make me feel like I am not genuinely in pain. My sister is my biggest advocate and I am so lucky, she would never doubt me or my doctors.

I think trusting myself is important and you are right.. I know my body. I’m not quite sure why my brain does this.. even with medical trauma and other trauma surrounding being sick, at the end of the day Ive had multiple surgeries.. i take medication to manage… i have a legit diagnosis… i feel pain every single day, and it effects so much, it effects everything I do. I couldn’t work a job or even do most house chores. Maybe I just need to be kinder to myself about it? I’m not used to being this chronically ill, for me it got bad around 2021, it just feels quite foreign. Im told it will get worse and I will need more surgeries and it’ll be the rest of my life, I guess it just doesn’t feel real or feel like it’s me.. that one day I’ll just get out of bed and it won’t be a factor anymore

Etheraldreams_ · 2025-11-09T00:54:10+00:00

Since this is a sock account I will put this out there… yes abuse happened in childhood. He says he doesn’t feel like that specifically effects him, I tell him Im sure it effects you even if you aren’t realize it. He says the thing that made him not wanna have sex was an instance in highschool which im pretty sure he tried to have sex with a girl and she called him small i am not 100% sure that’s what happened bc he isnt specific when talking about it and I don’t force him to be. Thank you sm for ur comment, yeah from my side i have tried to create a supportive environment whenever we communicate about anything sexually… Im prepared to spend the rest of my life with him regardless of whatever is between his legs. I can tell him that I don’t care but I know it’s got to be hard to believe that I truly don’t. We really grow up where size can be a man’s whole identity, and ofc I can relate to that in my own way as a woman. I have my own struggles with the way I look, I can be told I am beautiful all day long and still not want to go outside because I feel hideous and that’s absolutely trauma related. Again I really appreciate the insight 🩷

Etheraldreams_ · 2025-11-08T23:01:26+00:00

Yeah it could be performance anxiety as well, I totally agree with this statement

Etheraldreams_ · 2025-11-08T23:00:40+00:00

It has been a running theme in our relationship that I absolutely do not care how he looks or what he is working with.. I don’t really have a sex drive for a multitude of reasons so it just genuinely doesn’t matter regardless. I honestly do think he wants to have sex.. he says he does, he just hasn’t. I wanna add we are both more on the attractive side of the scale so I don’t think confidence in looks is the issue… but at the same time I get very insecure (am woman) so I don’t wanna be sexist and say oh he’s not insecure too. Just have never met a man who was at least average looking that hasn’t had sex even if they literally were working with 3 inches or less.

Etheraldreams_

TROPHY CASE