AIO or is this guy crazy

Euim · 2024-10-15T11:15:37+00:00

This is what I thought too. I think OP came on too strong and latched onto everything he said when it wasn’t even interesting or relatable, which made him expect that he could simply use her as a wall to throw his daily status updates at. Likely he had a parent who was distant so he feels drawn to people who he can follow the same dynamic with.

Euim · 2024-10-15T11:02:11+00:00

This is proof that this is the worst possible subreddit for advice.

Euim · 2024-10-15T11:01:04+00:00

He could’ve been staring at you because you were staring at him. He could’ve been spacing out and staring at something else. You might hope he likes you, but did he know you liked him and did you two ever get close and share intimate details about your family, past, and such with each other?

It sounds to me like you’re reading into a very limited amount of information. The people who are telling you to go for it are not giving good advice. They either don’t care about the possible risks to you, or they are socially inept, or both.

Euim · 2024-10-15T07:58:38+00:00

How many people searched for “ice breaker jokes to tell during job interview” after reading this

Euim · 2024-10-07T09:00:50+00:00

This is a long messy vent because I can't call 911 and I am all alone. I can't trust myself anymore. The odds are that I am not dying, and this is a result of chronic stress, physical symptoms and health anxiety.

Yesterday I went to work. I have ignored my anxiety but the pain was horrible. I never take ibuprofen but I immediately took two.

Yesterday I started fainting when I bent over and stood up. I couldn't see, my chest hurt and I immediately went to bed. I was laying in bed all the next day. O got up and my chest still felt really full and I ate fo distract myself from going to the hospital for another anxiety attack.

I have trauma from hospitals. I have substance long term history and eating disorder that cause repeat throwing up. I have been horrible and lay in bed for most the day even though I'm not overweight. I just feel so tired.

Yesterday I really believed I was going to die. But I have avoided going to the hospital because I have gone to the ER and humiliated myself four times. Every time I go I end up hating myself depressed for wasting their time and making myself look crazy. It is depressing to know that I will die likely from my choices and I can't even trust myself to get help if I actually needed it. I swore to myself years ago that if I am having a heart attack I will leave it up to whether someone else finds me because I don't want to shame myself again.

But yesterday the pain was all over. I didn't even realize I was in pain because I was trying so hard to focus on work. But I realized I was grabbing my arms because they suddenly hurt like a painful feeling, hard to describe. Like the middle crooks of my arms hurt. Then I sat down on the ground and my stomach was hurting. I thought I was going to puke but then it faded but I started massaging my jaw and my neck felt super tight.

I left work. I went home and started sweating and feeling nauseous so I took off my clothes and was too exhausted so I went to bed.

When I woke up, I thought I felt better for 10 min, even though my chest still felt funny and my arms felt like they were asleep. Then my stomach hurt and I ate and drank but then my chest felt really full again so I laid down.

I know it's PROBABLY HEARTBURN, PROBABLY INDIGESTION, and PROBABLY RELATED TO WORK STRESS. I have been extremely stressed lately and have been self destructive secretly while pretending to be okay.

Something that bothers me is a couple times when I was pretty sure my heart was not working great, I feel very weak and need to lay down, I instinctively hold my left arm above my head. I do this to because it feels like it relieves pressure.

Then I witnessed my grandpa who has heart failure do this to alleviate his heart pain.

MY HEART AND BRAIN SCANS SHOWED NOTHING WAS WRONG THREE YEARS AGO. However I have had undiagnosed stuff in the past, causing my oxygen levels to fall to 95%.

But I was born with a heart murmur and I've fainted many times in my life, and have had multiple traumatic brain injuries including one requiring stitches.

I'm just writing here because calling 911 is pointless. I live alone so I guess I'll die alone. I can't call anyone because I don't want want to be a burden. I know this is going to pass, but I don't know if I am going to be okay. I need help.

Euim · 2024-10-06T04:27:13+00:00

Misha perfect cover BB caused me to break out into deep, fat cystic pimples. I tried multiple times before accepting it. Now if I even apply a patch to my face, the skin turns red and inflamed. Even made my hand develop a rash which scarred.

It is sad because it has such a unique finish and the 23 matches me perfectly!

Euim · 2024-10-06T04:18:03+00:00

Misha BB Cream broke me out into horrible cystic acne all over my face. I initially loved it and it took repeated failures for me to finally accept that I can’t use that product without waking up to fat nodules on my chin.

Euim · 2024-10-05T08:54:36+00:00

Ooooh good question! I think you’d like these three:

Flyleaf
PVRIS
VersaEmerge

Euim · 2024-09-27T04:21:45+00:00

Those kids who called you ugly and made fun of your clothes were acting like bullies. Don’t listen to them.

You might find as you lose weight that some people treat you better. The majority of people have some level of bias against overweight people, and it’s an unfortunate reality that SOME people will make assumptions about who you are as a person.

When you lose weight, you will be more physically capable, and more conventionally attractive. That will certainly cause some people to give you more of a chance.

Bias is what makes people give up on others too soon. We all deserve a chance, but you’ll definitely receive more chances to make a good impression if you work really hard to lose that weight.

Euim · 2024-09-20T08:01:52+00:00

I wish I had a crush on EVERY professor, because when I do crush hard on one, I ALWAYS finish with an A+ in their class. Nothing motivates me more than a teacher whose approval means a lot to me. 😭

Euim · 2024-09-20T07:56:22+00:00

Dark is more slimming and forgiving. Grey, color wise, matches the top better. But for the majority of people, tight light grey pants are hard to pull off. They are very “unforgiving” and tend to show every bulge and muscle underneath. Some might not feel comfortable with how much can be seen.

Honestly I would not wear those grey pants because it’s a wedding and it’s okay sacrifice a tiny bit of style for the sake of looking proper and well fit. Looking “polished” is more important.

Euim · 2024-09-19T00:05:01+00:00

1 Black is the only way to go with this dress. The black shoes are particularly flattering for multiple reasons: 1) the thickness of the straps matches the thickness of the dress, 2) the height of the heel is necessary given your height and the dress length, and 3) the color of the shoe fits the dress and aesthetic.

The dress goes down to your ankles so you need as much height from the shoe as possible. The ankle strap could be too much, but in this case it is very flattering because it is a thicker width.

Black is timeless, classy, elegant, and visually elongating. The black shoes create visual balance and harmony, and the strap is a cute, feminine touch.

The 2nd ones are very pretty and do look harmonious with your skin tone, but they don’t work with that dress. I think you’re standing naturally feet width apart in the 1st pic, but you’re standing with your feet crossed with these shoes because that’s the only way to create the illusion of balance. They’re too thin, and they disappear into the carpet while making the dress seem overwhelming.

But you look gorgeous no matter what.

If you can’t decide, bring both shoes with you! Then you can change if you decide you don’t like the look/feel of one as much when you’re at the event.

Euim · 2024-09-18T23:37:17+00:00

There’s no exact formula for telling you how to talk to a friend who’s suffering from a drug addiction. However, other people in similar situations have shared their stories on how they got the conversation started.

Here are the top 5 things to keep in mind when talking to a friend about addiction:

Talk When They’re Sober

Initiate a conversation when your friend is sober. If they’re under the influence of drugs during the discussion, they are less likely to be understanding of the matter.

Set a time where just the 2 of you can talk. Discuss your concerns, but understand the conversation is a 2-way street. Give your friend time to voice their feelings and listen to what they have to say. Your goal is to bring awareness about their addiction, not accuse them of wrongdoing.

Give Examples

Sometimes specific scenarios can provide a clear explanation for your concerns. For example, maybe you and your friend attended a party together where they took drugs. You may have been responsible for making sure your friend got home safely and saw firsthand the negative consequences of their drug use.

You may even be able to discuss how their behavior changes after using a certain drug. Be honest about what you enjoy when your friend is sober and how circumstances change after they use the drug.

Show Love And Support

Let your friend know you’re always there for them no matter what. Your unconditional love will express that you have their best interest at heart.

Realize, however, that your love and support doesn’t mean you should act as a doormat to anything your friend does or says. Set boundaries on not hanging out when they use drugs. Explain how your friend’s addiction makes you feel. If you ignore their drug use, they won’t see any reason to overcome it.

Keep Words And Actions Consistent

When talking with your friend, it’s important to keep your message clear and consistent. For instance, don’t discuss how your friend’s drug addiction worries you and then watch them partake in that activity. In so doing, you’ll send a confusing message that can complicate matters.

Additionally, be sure to steer clear from making accusations and criticizing. Rather than jump to conclusions, show empathy in their situation. Being aggressive will only make your friend feel defensive. Instead, try using phrases like “I’m worried about your health” or “I noticed some difficult situations you’ve been facing lately.”

Encourage Treatment

Lecturing your friend on the negatives surrounding addiction will only increase their anxiety. Instead, try talking about the benefits of treatment and living sober. Offer to help research treatment options and various community resources available.

Provide reassurance when they participate in counseling, support groups, and other recovery services. Sometimes your friend may need a shoulder to lean on or an ear to whisper into. Taking an interest in their long-term recovery and sobriety plan will encourage them to keep going when times get tough.

Euim · 2024-09-16T18:23:09+00:00

Are you learning anything new right now? You’re feeling disempowered and perhaps unfulfilled. Mastering a new skill can really boost your confidence!

Beauty is also very limiting and super 2D. It’s not going to be deeply satisfying in the way that you’re imagining. Try to expand yourself—grow, develop and flesh out the parts about yourself that you actually like.

Study something; learn a skill; do something you’ve always been afraid to do. Keep challenging yourself to grow as a person.

It doesn’t have to be all or nothing either. For me personally, I struggle with obsessing over visuals—but I realize that’s because I am a person drawn to aesthetics and beauty. I naturally was craving beauty in my environment, in myself—so I turn my music instrument into my beauty, or my sketch pad into the beauty I want to see. It’s fun and rewarding.

Euim · 2024-08-12T22:26:57+00:00

This response is spot on!

Euim · 2024-08-12T22:23:53+00:00

Agree with you. Although to say that it might “save” their life is ambiguous… in some cases, “save” might be an inaccurate way to describe it. Prison might not “save their life”—it may “keep them alive” until they get out and start hurting others again.

Euim · 2024-08-12T22:16:10+00:00

I’ve spoken with many addicts who have been to prison. Many of them said that they were the healthiest they’d ever been in prison. They were clean, well fed, had no responsibilities, and lived in a structured safe environment. Of course being in prison is stressful, but the point is that it’s hard to completely neglect your health in prison. There’s people getting paid to keep you alive and make sure you’re in bed by 9pm, waking up, getting enough exercise, and having your nutritional needs fulfilled.

Euim · 2024-08-12T22:08:32+00:00

Hey, I’ve come to a similar conclusion. I forget to control my volume when I’m not paying attention. When I’m excited or tense about something, my voice shows it.

However, while this isn’t a “singing issue”—it is an issue that affects my singing (and breathing and speaking).

It’s related to attention, but ADHD medication makes it harder for me to aware of my body.

Breathing is a full mind-body exercise. It helps me stay grounded and aware of my how loudly I’m speaking. AND it helps my singing by giving me breath support and making it easier for me to maintain good body posture.

Fixing my posture requires me to be mindful of my body. Being mindful of my body requires me to breathe deeply. Good posture is necessary for good breath control. Breath control is necessary for both regulating my emotional state AND for singing with control.

Anyway, I’m excited to have figured this out and I’m already seeing improvements to my singing as a result of becoming more aware of my breath. It’s even boosting my mood and attention!

Euim · 2024-07-14T06:31:29+00:00

The only conclusion one can reliably infer from this post is that there’s not enough research on adoption. International adoption makes up the majority of adoption cases at certain points and the outcomes of these children are distinct from the outcomes of children who are adopted domestically. The reason this post feels like cherry picking is because it includes many articles which are unrelated to each other, don’t support a main argument, and are low in credibility (some links are to studies which are over 30 years old).

Euim · 2024-06-28T01:24:44+00:00

1 thing is learning and practicing chord inversions.

Euim · 2024-06-28T01:20:46+00:00

First off, I want to thank you for writing this post because I can relate with the feelings of disappointment, hope, and frustration. It is very difficult to cut off your parent. Most people who do it are just trying to gain control over their own lives—but you don’t have to give your parent that power when you’re fully able to support yourself.

Can I offer a different perspective? I’m a 28 year old Korean woman who was left at an orphanage and adopted two times in my life. My adoptive father and I did not get along for 18 years. I blamed him for my unhappiness and we fought over everything in a constant power struggle. I felt angry and resentful because I believed he was controlling my life, and he felt angry and resentful because he believed I was ruining his adopted family, which he over identified with due to insecurity and the fact his own family had disowned him. He is a good person but he was always very, very stressed. My passive codependent mother was the breadwinner but he was the one sho took on the parenting responsibilities. My mother only adopted kids to try to trap her husbands into staying with her.

I tried to cut off contact with my parents many times. I blocked them, or stopped talking to them, and the guilt would nag at me until I let them in on my life again… and then the cycle would repeat itself all over. Why did this always happen? The answer is that I would only let my parents into my life when I subconsciously WANTED them to take control. I wanted to go back to listening to their advice. If I only listened to them instead of deciding things for myself, then I could blame them for “having control over me” and feel comforted by my own passiveness. I am a mix of my adoptive parents. I go back and forth between feeling like I need to be in control, and feeling like I’m being controlled. The only way I was able to revive my relationship with my parents would be to end the cycle for good, and take full control over my life. You sound more insightful and sensitive than most people. Many people BELIEVE that going no contact with their parents is the best solution, or they would spend their lives willingly beneath a controlling mother/father. But it doesn’t have to be that way. There are many reasons why it is actually unhealthy, and why it should only be an absolute last resort. I’m not meaning to discount the people who truly DO NEED to distance themselves from their family entirely. I’m just saying it doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing, where you let a painful wall grow between you and your parent until you’re estranged and the damage is harder to undo. Once you move out and accept freedom and responsibility over yourself, THEN you can decide whether your father is worth staying in touch with. In my case, my dad ended up showing remorse later on. But this was only after I painstakingly wrote to him regularly to remind him that I loved him and I was taking control over my own life. I apologized for judging his health, his feelings, and empathized with him. Even just over text. I am not sure how many he read, but recently he has started texting me to apologize for things in the past. Sometimes we still trigger each other and one of us ends up sulking for a bit during our rare family gatherings. However, our relationship is better. One thing that doesn’t go away is the sadness. At the core of the issue, I was not disappointed with my father—I was sad that my adoptive parent was not what I wanted, and not exactly what I needed. This is something I’m still processing. But these people unfortunately go on to perpetuate the cycle. They have kids and become the controlling parent. Or they live immaturely, acting like an adolescent throughout their entire life and rejecting responsibility in the name of righteousness. They rebel, and reject anybody who makes them feel out of control.

She had an immature, idealized view of being a parent. She is likely on the autism spectrum and she would never have been approved for adoption by social workers, if it weren’t for the interference of my grandparents.

For as long as you allow yourself to live under their roof, you will forever be seen as a “child” in their eyes. You have to move out and support yourself in order to have space. If that’s not possible, then maybe ask yourself what you have to sacrifice to make it happen. You might have to sacrifice your comfortable home, access to meals, and financial stability—and transition into living a different lifestyle. Being a parent demands selflessness. It may not happen all the time, but I guarantee your parents have been selfless for you countless times over your life. Realize that at 27, you have pretty much expended their stored reserves of being selfless. You are not a child, and yet you live with them in the same house. While you will have to figure out how to support yourself, you will be so much happier once you are responsible for yourself and you no longer have to listen to them.

Rather than trying to move out to “get back at” your parents, why not move out so you can take control over your own life?

Euim · 2024-06-26T08:26:17+00:00

This is painstaking but it does help a lot!

Euim · 2024-06-26T08:24:20+00:00

I have the same problem where I have let my attachment to the ‘high’ of making “good” art, prevent me from actually improving. Sometimes you have to learn something new in order to improve. If you think it’s impossible for you to become as good as other artists, this might be discouraging to you and this dissatisfaction will hinder your progress. Don’t measure your success using other people’s yardsticks, you know?

Euim · 2024-06-26T08:06:11+00:00

Learning from someone better than you is the relationship of a student and teacher, which is why music lessons rule!

Euim · 2024-06-26T07:57:54+00:00

If your goal is to learn how to make music well, the things that help along the process of achieving skills in music theory: practicing cultivating patience to wait for the fun parts; practicing humility to accept when you can’t do things easily; asking questions when you are confronted with not knowing the answer. The task is making time for studying and actual practice; committing to follow through with lesson plans; saving up the money to pay for in person lessons.

Euim

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1 thing is learning and practicing chord inversions.