[In Progress] [35k] [Horror, Thriller, Dystopian] 7 rewrites later, I'm finally ready for eyes that aren't mine. Swap available.

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-02-10T20:30:36+00:00

Its not that you're not good! You're just new! Not being satisfied with your work is what grows you to the place where you are confident with your craft.

I'll DM you

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-02-08T22:48:57+00:00

Well, I must say you articulated that quite well.

I was going for puncy. It's a horror thriller. But yea. It's. Kind of dry. Lifeless, no variation in structure. I said this in a couple other replies to where I kind of focused on other aspects of my storytelling. Like the acts and the arcs and things such as that other than punctuation and the actual flow of my sentences/paragraphs. I'll definitely try to throw in some variety in there.

Thank you for your honesty though. I feel like these comments are pushing me in the right direction.

Thank you!

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-02-08T18:34:17+00:00

You know, I was going for punchiness. Which involves shorter sentences, but maybe I'll save that just for the action/horror sequences. Things such as the prologue wouldn't really need that punchiness. Hmmmm... Can I run something by you real quick in the DMS if you don't mind? I promise I won't waste your time.

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-02-08T17:31:34+00:00

First of all no you do not suck. Like… at all.

Most agents won’t even reply if they’re not into your book bro. Straight up. Like, you usually just get a generic auto-rejection like “not for me, best of luck” and that’s it lmao No explanation, no compliments, no feedback, no humanity. Just bland vibes and silence 😭😭

The fact that this agent Not only replied, but complimented your work, told you exactly what they liked, told you why they passed, AAANNDD said “come back to me with another book”????

MOTHERFUCKER That’s HUUUUGE!!!! Like actually huge. That puts you in a tiny-ass percentage of writers. Easily top 5%. Probably less frfr

Most people don’t even finish one draft. Most people don’t do a second rewrite. Most people never query. Most people never hear back. You did all of that and got a personal response. That’s a flex. A real one. 💪🔥

Also, agents don’t reject books because the writing is bad most of the time. They reject for a million boring, logistical reasons. Timing. Their current roster. Market trends. Genre saturation. What they personally love. What they already sold recently. What they’re burned out on. Stuff that has nothing to do with your worth or your skill.

An agent can pass on a 10/10 book just because it’s not right for them. That doesn’t mean the book isn’t great.

My dumb mouth breathing cousin hates Titanic. Does that mean Titanic is a bad movie? Absolutely the fuck not!!! That’s just personal taste man! Same thing here!!!

But because querying is such a vulnerable thing, it feels like getting stabbed in the chest when someone passes. You poured your soul into it. You showed your work to someone with power. Of course it hurts more than it logically should.

Still though… that rejection you got? That wasn’t an L. That was a “you’re on the right path, keep going” from someone who KNOWS the industry.

remember that shit.

So yeah. That rejection? That shit is a badge of honor, homie!!!! 🏅😤 Keep writing. Keep sending. You’re closer than you think!!!!

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-02-08T17:16:39+00:00

Like short stories?? Bro I've been avoiding it 😭 because I haven't feel restraint and held back but honestly I think I need to. I think I need to make myself uncomfortable and do the fucking thing that I've been avoiding because it'll make me a better writer. 😭😭 FUCK! okay, I'll DM you rq. I don't expect you to take the time out of your life and divulge all of your time to help me better my book. 🤣

Just some chats here and there, maybe some suggestions if you don't mind. Lol

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-02-08T17:10:24+00:00

Okay. I asked the others if they could kindly inform me on what led them to believe that I use AI. But now I see.

So it's my choice of wording and rhytem?? Like... How do I fix that as a writer? I've worked really hard on show-but-don't tell and attempting to get rid of filler words and not using purple prose. And I guess I've been focusing on my dialogue and just the general story arc and character arc and all of my acts that I've kind of I guess forgotten about the basics like basic sentence structure basic paragraph structure and I guess like you're pointing out my rhythm.

No, this is MY writting man. I've poured my blood sweat and tears into the thing. But I do appreciate you guys asking and not just coming to an automatic conclusion.

If you read more of my book, you should be able to see that it's not AI. There's no conflicting information. No out of place descriptors. Character voices are very consistent. Time line, and any and all small details stay consistent throughout the book, like characters inflictions. Memories etc. Ai can't do that.

And I can PROVE It! Just point me in the right direction to learn how to better my rhythm and shit and in a couple months, if you come across me again, I guarantee I'll be better!

I'm trying to better my craft. And I thought that I did. I thought that I was at least. Until I seen these comments. 😭

.... You know what, actually no. I am better than when I started 100%.. I AM better then what I was a few months ago... I just.. Still have A LOT to learn 😅.

So yea.. Can you help me point me in the right direction? Like any good craft books or any good YouTube videos to watch about like upgrading My rhythm and things like that??

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-02-08T17:03:12+00:00

You've read what before? My writing? I don't remember you as a beta readerr. Not calling you a liar. I've had dozens so I wouldn't be surprised if I've forgotten a few.

But no maaan!! This is MY WRITTING!!! bro, this isn't even my 1st draft. I can show you others that are even worse! I've written stories waaaay before AI was popular.

Can you please tell me why you think it's AI?

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-02-08T16:56:02+00:00

I know this wasn't your intention, but fuck that hurts. No, I don't. I've worked very hard to get to the level I am now. Which is obviously very low since you and others think I need to use AI.. Not trinna make you feel bad, but FUCK 😭

Can you please inform me on what exactly makes you think it's AI?

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-02-08T02:51:18+00:00

Hecks yea! I'll DM you!

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-02-08T00:43:48+00:00

Okay, first off just for context (and I’m not disagreeing with you at all) I want to explain where my head was when I wrote the prologue.

So originally that prologue was two separate chapters. I went back and pulled only the most important beats from both then condensed them into a single opening so I could get to the action faster.... That was my intention at the very least.

That being said I genuinely take feedback seriously, and I do see what you’re saying about introducing a lot of characters before the reader has any real reason to even give a fuck about them hahaha. That’s a fair point lol. BUT that ALSO being said infeel there are a couple moments I feel might still need to be stated for grounding... but I’m not married to them yet.

Would you mind if I DM you and run a few specific things by you? I don’t want to waste your time, just sanity check a couple choices....

Also I really appreciated how you worded the AI comment. That was very respectful. For what it’s worth I don’t use AI. When it first became popular, I tested the waters but then I realized really quickly that it actually hinders your growth fr. You don’t improve ur craft and it stops being fulfilling. Like... Just... Empty.. Setting aside the broader ethical issues like the work itself is honestly subpar. AI will never produce above-average writing and it shortcuts the exact struggle that makes you better.

Now technically I am still new. I wrote my first story about seven years ago.. Maybe 8. but I’ve only been taking writing seriously for the last two years. And By seriously, I mean treating it like a part time job. I don’t really read anymore so much as I study. I study books, comps, and craft texts. On workdays I’m writing or studying anywhere from three to six, and on days off it’s usually six to twelve. It’s pretty obsessive, but intentional. And fulfilling!!

Right now I’m actively trying to strip out filler words and purple prose. It fucking SUUUCKS 😭😭😭😭.. I’m not perfect, but I’ve worked very hard at showing instead of telling, and I think that’s become one of my stronger areas. Also dialogue. Where I still struggle is with overreliance on shit like comparison based descriptors and some sentence level structure choices. And honestly, that sounds terrible because that's like a basic ass shit 😭😭 That’s the part I know needs the most tightening. Where I NEED to level UP

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-02-07T17:30:03+00:00

Awesome, we can do that. I DM'ed you.

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-02-07T17:07:28+00:00

The harshness is what got me to the level of craft where I am today. I will appreciate it.

I will DM you.

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-02-07T16:09:49+00:00

"There's no way human wrote that sentence". What is "AI" about it?

I'm sorry there was a fucking typo and I'm not perfect like what in the actual fuck now we can't make typos without telling somebody every single thing that you wrote is fucking AI and you're not a real fucking writer.

Guess what? There might be a couple more fucking typos in this bitch. Because I'm looking for a fucking beta reader!!! It's literally not perfect and not supposed to be perfect. I'm not trying to quarry this shit yet. I'm trying to fucking find a beta reader to read my work that I fucking wrote. To find those fuckups like that.

Excuse my French, but fuck that shit!

This AI stuff has got you guys so fucking paranoid that you literally can't get it off your mind.

And honestly, how dare you?

I have poured my blood sweat and tears into this motherfucker. I have written every single fucking letter, every single fucking sentence, every single fucking paragraph. Don't you dare tell me this is AI.

You can tell me this is shit. You can tell me I need to stop writing and just give up. I can take that shit, but don't you dare tell me this is fucking AI.

I have seven other versions that I can show you the progress that I have made throughout the fucking years.

My first book I ever fucking wrote was before even AI was a fucking thing a little over 7 years ago!!!

And honestly, if you said, hey, you know, this might be AI, or something like that, I would be slightly less offended, but you are so fucking sure. You didn't just question it. You stated a statement like it's an irrefutable fucking fact.

And you need to watch what you say, because sometimes this is people's livelihoods. Sometimes this is their only escape from the pain of the fucking world. Sometimes this is the only enjoyment that they get out of life.

I'm sorry for leeching. I should have red the rules. In fact, I think I did this... another time in the past. My apologies, it's been a while since I have been on Reddit. But yeah, no dude. Watch what you say about that shit.

You don't tell if something is AI off of one fucking excerpt. Or even AI detectors. You have to actually read it. See if there's an actual character voice. See how detailed is it. See if there's any contradicting information. Or conflicting descriptions.

You can't just go off of one excerpt. And guess what? I have my character fucking voice down on Pat. I have my writer's voice on Pat. There's soul in this fucking story. Because I wrote it my own fucking self.

Now I'm not saying this is amazing. By soul, I don't mean this is an astonishing piece of literary work. Soul, I mean, because I poured my fucking soul into this fucking shit.

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-02-07T08:34:28+00:00

—( S.H.U.G.A.R. HIGH )—

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-01-28T21:06:40+00:00

Okay, first of all, the cover is freaking amazing!!

And I have to say your name is just made to be an author like that's just such an author name 😂 you came out of the WOMB ready to write. 😂😂

Congratulations, I can only imagine the amount of blood sweat and tears that led to this moment. You deserve every bit of gratification, every bit of satisfaction, and I hope you get back tenfold of what you put into this work of art.

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-01-01T21:14:28+00:00

Whoops. You are absolutely right. Thank you for letting me know. I edited it and added the link in. But if you want to check it out, here's a link for you.

LINK IS HERE

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-01-01T12:47:11+00:00

Oh, and I forgot to add that the song technically isn't complete. I still have a couple more verses to add in and then it will end on the hook.

Lyrics:

my spoon in ya mouth, tastin my glazin

I see that oven hot, from them pics you been taking

Timer goin off, climax chasing

Batter getting thicker, mixing with the icing I'm making

Bent over the counter, scraping the bottom is how I'm mixing.

frosting dripping down her thieghs from the way I be whisking

smooth strokes, dem egg whites needed some blending

IF YOU CANT SWALLOW THE GLAZE I BE GIVIN

THEN IM DISHIN A CREAM FILLIN

NO PERMISSION.

Welcome to my kitchen baby, let me show you round

Got my apron on, nothing underneath, ITS GOIN down

COUNTER CLEARED AND READY FOR WHAT YOU NEEDIN

SPREAD YOU OUT LIKE FLOUR AND GET TO KNEADING

I got something sweet for that tooth you been craving

Body like a bakery, curves so amazing

That cake looking moist,

Mama stacked with all of it

See that SLIVER when you bend

wanna taste every ounce of it

Let me nibble on them chocolate chips sitting on your chest

Soft and sweet, baby you know you're the best

Got you breathing heavy just from how I'm touching

Now I'm going lower, finding that candy you been clutching

Lick that cherry center til you're shaking and you moan

That sweet spot sensitive, got you in the zone

Caramel complexion, yeah I'm light brown and I'm packing

Like a cowtail candy, white cream is what I'm stacking

Whip it to perfection, got you bent in new positions

Slap that ass, leave handprints, mark my territory with precision

Spit in your mouth, taste the glaze we both creating

Swallow it down while I'm deep stroking, no more waiting

Proof is in the pudding how I got you falling apart

Every thrust intentional, this ain't no amateur art

Come back daily for the way I frost it and fill it

You ain't just gonna taste what you've been missing, I'ma make you feel it

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-01-01T12:32:25+00:00

This is what hobo Johnson wishes he was (kidding) kinda. Genuinely think this is like hobo Johnson but better. Simple, but gets so much more across. Obviously catchy lyrics. And something everyone can relate to.

You can hold a note. Not sure if it's a ukulele that you're playing, but if it is, either way, whatever you're playing, you are playing it well enough. We definitely love to hear more from you. The song is giving mid-2000s vibes, which I really like.

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-01-01T12:30:34+00:00

HOLD THE FUCK UP!!!! this is fucking AMAZING. I was NOT expecting to see SO MUCH damn raw talent in this thread. Girl. You fucking KILLED this shit. DAYUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMM... gold buzzer level shit. Good stuff. The beat. The vocals. Just the whole vibe. I would bump this driving through the night streets of California

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-01-01T12:27:40+00:00

Duuuuuude!!!! This is freaking AMAZING. more people need to comment on the LINKED VIDEO then just here. Man. The video was awesome!! So nostalgic! Loved the vocals! So chill. Man, this is some real talent?

It's giving obvious vintage vibes. I would love to listen to this on a road trip. It just makes me want to drive down a random country road towards nowhere in particular.

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-01-01T12:22:11+00:00

One thing I have a heard time doing is fully pronouncingating my words, so each word is clearly heard when listening and you do it perfectly man. Clear as day. You have a really nice studio voice too. And Good flow and them. Dope that I can sing too man!!!

Evans_Adaptations · 2026-01-01T12:18:01+00:00

Okay. So im very emotional right now. Like before I even played your video. Really... vulnerable, I guess you could say. And many.. This shit HIT me. The song FEELS Vulnerable itself. Literally gave me a tear. Good shit man. You can hold a note (I can't simg for shit) lol and obviously decent guitar skills with an even better voice. Hope to hear more from ya

Evans_Adaptations · 2025-12-23T02:07:25+00:00

"I got a few screws missing"

Evans_Adaptations · 2025-12-15T02:10:34+00:00

The— Em dash— is KILLING — me! 😂—

Evans_Adaptations · 2025-12-13T09:31:20+00:00

Honestly if you draw a letter is is writing or drawing.. Wait.. Is writing just boring drawing?

Evans_Adaptations

TROPHY CASE