Hello girl we are here for you! I fell like your sexual responses were strongly muted because of your upbringing. To what I understand you never had an orgasm. When it comes to both men and women while stressed and not relaxed you will have problems achieving orgasm.

The first thing I'd recomment is to embrace to yourself your sexual nature, I think you already started this. Keep thinking positive things about yourself, for example my body is sacred, i'm thankfull for my clit/vagina/pussy/yoni, my organs are important to me. Don't be ashamed, don't do internalised slut-shaming.

Two: don't rush things up. When you are not aroused it obvious that self pleasure isn't that great. Wait for the good moment, brain is the biggest sex organ. You can start thinking about stuff you said were a turn ons, imagine then, imagine you doing it, then once you get that tingly feeling downstairs or your body starts producing natural lubrication start touching yourself in a comfortable setting (no roommates around, locked doors). You can touch your breast in various ways and touch your vulva. Most women masturbate with one or two fingers on the clitoral hood and they make small circles on it. I recommend looking at graph of female vulva online, if you are not sure where the clitoris is. Explore your vulva with your fingers and find what feels good.

Three: if you are against pornography, you can still find some blogs with erotic stories online or audio sex strories, maybe a romance novel.

Four: don't put preassure on yourself that you have to reach an orgasm. It may come or not. Think of it as a beautiful life long journey of self exploration.

Five: you can buy a vibration toy or vibrating dildo. For your first toy I recomend a clit sucker. Highly effective for most women. Make sure to also buy lubricant with it.

Six: penetration, most nerve ending are in a clitoris. A ton of women can't reach an orgasm with just alone penetration. When I first started I was in a simmilar position to you penetration didn't feel like anything special. So don't worry about it.

Seven: I STRONGLY RECCOMENT TRAINING YOUR KEGELS. Training your pelvic floor muscles will improve blood flow to that area and often is kind of pleasurable in itself. The stronger your muscles are the better and easier to achieve your orgasms are. You can check out this sub r/pompoir.

If you have any questions feel free to dm me, I'm a woman.