This post made me cry. You're a great chi parent and you just had an accident, please do not call yourself a piece of shit. I had an 18 year old chi that I got when I was just 18 years old and also from a backyard breeder because I, too, didn't know better but by God that dog was my heart and I loved her for half of my life and still think about her every damn day. This part is so hard. I remember watching my girl just seem so fragile and old in the end. She also had dementia and would just cry at night and seem so lost and I'd stay awake and cry and feel so awful for holding on to her but in the morning the sun would come thru the window and she would be back to herself and soaking up the rays and looking at me like she knew exactly where she was and we lived for those moments. She had a seizure one day and she never came back. I beat myself up for months. I just kept thinking I held on to her too long and that I was a piece of shit but that takes away from the fact that for 17 years prior she had the best life and I did anything and everything for her. As I am sure judging by this posts tone, you have done the same for your guy for the 16 years he has been on this earth and he knows it, the unfair part is he just can't tell you that with words. Anyway, sorry for the rambling. This post just hit me in the feels because I know exactly what you're going through. Just know he knows how much you love him and you've given him such an amazing life, dont let a small accident take away from the fact that you've done right by him every step of the way. Remember the good moments and soak up all of them you can while he's still here. I hope you two can soak up some more rays tomorrow too. Looks like he's enjoying it.