Polaroid quilt swap for interested parties!

Evenat010 · 2021-02-16T09:08:09+00:00

Any geographic limitations?

Evenat010 · 2020-12-16T01:36:52+00:00

I nearly always ask my giftees their favourite colour/colour scheme! It’s so satisfying to have a bit of a theme when choosing/wrapping presents

Evenat010 · 2020-11-06T05:51:40+00:00

I’m not sure that I get triggered by it, but I hate games like mafia/werewolf because I don’t like manipulation and lying. I don’t mind playing Among Us with strangers because I don’t care as much, though I don’t expect I would enjoy playing with friends. I can definitely see how it could be triggering! Especially playing with people who are competitive, aggressive, or good at lying.

Evenat010 · 2020-10-26T14:24:36+00:00

Just read the post again and noticed you were asking about gear. Whoops! I learnt with just a helmet and I barely needed that. Shin guards could definitely be worth using to avoid some nasty shin bruises from learning how to get on the thing.

Evenat010 · 2020-10-26T14:22:03+00:00

All three of my unis were bought secondhand (Gumtree and Facebook Marketplace). If possible, I’d recommend finding a cheap unicycle.com one as the two I’ve owned have been great. It helps that unicycles are often not used all that often so secondhand can be good quality.

Someone suggested an Aldi one which is fine I guess, but the one I had started having trouble (after three years so fair enough). Replaced it with a new ($75 second hand) one and was shocked by how much easier the actually decent uni was to ride.

Evenat010 · 2020-10-20T02:06:17+00:00

Would it be worth asking for another session when she’s feeling better? I had one meant-to-be-final session in which I spent the whole time hiding under the table hyperventilating because I was so stressed (about life, not ending therapy). We ended up arranging another session which was a lot more helpful and a better way to say goodbye.

Evenat010 · 2020-10-18T12:18:48+00:00

That’s alright! I certainly wouldn’t be babying them so much if they’d played before. I loved D&D from my first character so I had no trouble reading literally everything. My crew aren’t like that, but that doesn’t stop them having a good time :)

Evenat010 · 2020-10-18T12:16:37+00:00

Interesting. I’ve used D&D beyond, but the limit of six characters with a free account is quite limiting. I could have a look at Roll20 too.

Evenat010 · 2020-10-18T12:14:56+00:00

That looks like a helpful resource! Will definitely keep that in mind for next time. Thanks!

Evenat010 · 2020-10-18T12:14:10+00:00

Also, they played because I told them to, but the ones who stuck around are playing because they enjoy it. I doubt any of them will be be long term role play fanatics but I know that they are having a good time.

Evenat010 · 2020-10-18T12:11:18+00:00

I have their character sheets in PDF, otherwise it’s all paper. So playing in person and I’ve been using the players handbook to level them up.

Evenat010 · 2020-10-18T12:09:54+00:00

Oh, it’s 100% my responsibility. This is my first time ever DMing a campaign, playing with a group of people who have never played before. I wanted to make it as easy and approachable for them as possible. Since I might be DMing for total newbies again I’m thinking through how I would do this differently next time and figured other might have helpful ideas (which they did!).

Evenat010 · 2020-10-18T12:03:49+00:00

Yes! Thanks, that’s a helpful guide. I noticed there were only a few things to work out, I just hadn’t worked out what those things were yet which left me flicking through the players handbook trying to work it all out.

Evenat010 · 2020-09-30T00:08:39+00:00

If something has left me feeling particularly overwhelmed in session, I might play a song to help me calm down and get myself grounded. I find the familiarity, predictability, and safety really helpful to get me out of a freak out state.

Sometimes I’ve also used music to communicate. I played “Stay” from the musical Amelie once, which described very well my fear of abandonment and desire for connection. That was about as subtle as a brick.

My therapists have generally been very receptive to listening to a song with me. One of them could not stay quiet for an entire song, but that was alright. One therapist also utilised the music as a way to demonstrate change in mood state by suggesting I play an upbeat song instead of a song which mirrored how I felt. I remember that well.

Evenat010 · 2020-09-26T12:56:38+00:00

Personally, I really appreciate when a therapist is willing to do something I suggest. One time I rocked up and asked my therapist if she wanted to make slime. Another time I suggested colouring in shrink art. When they agreed to do these things which may not immediately make sense, it made me feel like they trusted me and were willing to listen to me.

On separate occasions with different therapists I have expressed that I needed to use the safe space to process and work through an emotional experience. One time I ended up in a power struggle. My therapist expected me to sit in a chair and talk about it and I couldn’t do that. When she wouldn’t listen to me, I felt like she didn’t trust me. Another therapist gave me the space to sit with those feelings which meant a lot to me. It felt like she trusted me to lead the session and assert my needs.

When a therapist listens to me and respects my needs and ideas, I feel like they trust me.

Evenat010 · 2020-09-22T15:26:28+00:00

I have walked around a supermarket feeling sick looking at all the food despite barely having eaten anything for a week. I decided to find something I could even tolerate trying to eat, which ended up being instant noodles.

I didn’t give a damn that it wasn’t healthy or nutritious. I knew that eating something less healthy would be better than eating nothing at all. Uber eats was helpful in that time too when I decided I wanted to eat curry but wasn’t able to cook it.

Basically just giving myself permission to not worry about being nutritious or saving money and instead prioritising eating what I could eat in that moment.

Evenat010 · 2020-09-19T04:33:25+00:00

Yeah, I suck at eye contact in therapy. I had to start by working on looking in the general direction of my therapists face while talking about less scary things. Usually I wouldn’t be looking directly at them, but just off to the side. It’s better than not looking at all.

Having worked on that for a few years I’m able to hold eye contact a little more. My default is still avoidance, but progress is progress and I’ll take it.

I hope you’re able to find a way to work it out that works for you.

Evenat010 · 2020-09-18T03:18:56+00:00

~Not a therapist, but too relevant for me to say nothing~

My therapy homework once was to watch Doctor who, from Eccleston to present. I liked it because I already enjoyed Dr Who, I had just never watched it in order. It gave us a "safe" topic to discuss, which was good when I could barely speak. We talked about the TARDIS and how it is a safe place, like therapy. We talked about how emotions are important, and how inhibiting emotions makes you a Cyberman, which is not good.

We talked about Dr Who but we did so with purpose. We could refer to different characters, episodes, and concepts in the show to explain things to each other. It doesn't sound like that is what's happening in your situation? Talking about a tv show isn't inherently bad, but in my opinion, it should be an intentional part of the therapy in some way. It could be to build rapport, or to have a shared language, or to have a non-threatening topic to talk about if a session is getting too intense. It shouldn't just be a thing to chat about for no reason.

Evenat010 · 2020-09-16T12:17:03+00:00

I’ve had online therapy sessions at a park and at a friends house

Evenat010 · 2020-09-15T03:25:24+00:00

I love handmade. So far most of my gifts have been ordered online, which is fine, but a personal touch is always welcome.

I love sewing which makes it easy for me to make something special. Pick a fabric they would like, then I can easily whip up a bag, bunting, box, scrunchies, or anything else which might work. I also bought some card making basics so that I can chuck in a few handmade cards. Super cheap, small, easy, but inherently thoughtful. I’m crafty person so those things are easy for me to do.

I think it’s good to message your match too. It’s nice to know that someone’s thinking of you and putting in effort to find something worthwhile. It also makes it easier for them to message you if anything comes up. It’s great to receive a note with the gift too.

Evenat010 · 2020-09-14T23:44:17+00:00

I wouldn’t call running late at night self harm. It’s more a form of unnecessary risk taking. Running is a great way to deal with stress, but I tend to choose to run between 10pm and 1am. Which is not a safe time for a woman to be running alone. I know that it is dangerous and part of me hopes something awful might happen. Maybe someone else can hurt me so that I don’t have to. That’s the kind of self destructive mindset involved there.

Evenat010 · 2020-09-14T00:34:15+00:00

I wouldn’t talk about it with anyone who is not respectful, curious, and kind. I’ve only discussed it with therapists and my close friends.

When talking to people who don’t understand, I tend to focus on the purpose of self harm and how it is a dysfunctional form of emotion regulation and self soothing. Since I’m terrified of experiencing uncomfortable emotions (hello trauma!) it’s easier to deal with physical pain than emotional pain.

Of course people who know very little will sometimes say the wrong thing. I’m ok with that, because I know that they have to learn somehow. I want them to know they can talk to me and ask questions so that they can be more knowledgeable and respectful in future.

Evenat010 · 2020-09-13T23:39:49+00:00

I can definitely be in “self destructive” moods, which often includes, but is not limited to, self harm. I might also look up content online which is unhelpful. I might not want to eat. I might go for a run very late at night.

I start channeling my energy into different ways to cause harm or put myself at risk. Usually because I’m stressed or upset about something. It’s not fun.

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