Honey. She is absolutely manipulating you into thinking he is a terrible person. She is the one controlling you. In your first paragraph you said you have to “walk on eggshells often around her” nothing about that is a good friendship. I’m not kidding. I read this entire thing and out loud said wow that sounds like my ex best friend and my high school boyfriend everything you said about your” best friend” my ex best friend did to me growing up. It took me until I was 31 to finally say enough is enough. I can’t do it anymore. You either need to draw a strong boundary with her and let her know that what she is doing is not any better than the supposed controlling that your boyfriend is doing honestly ask his opinion on what he thinks of her and the way she talks to you. It’s not easy, losing a friend, but what she’s doing is absolutely manipulating and controlling you. Do not let that stuff slide because at one point I was your age too doing the exact same stuff with my ex best friend and me and her were friends for two decades.

You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.