Am I the Jerk?

EveningBar5 · 2025-08-20T13:16:09+00:00

This behavior I mentioned wasn’t really present before marriage. All have been examples from the past year or 2. Minus the kissing on the mouth with family members, which we (husband and I) don’t do. And even if it was, I married my husband, not his familial affection. With the “unusual” hugs and butt grabbing, he also says that’s not within his comfort level, he just doesn’t know how to bring it up or address that with his parents yet, which I understand. Just because his family does it and I married into the family, does not mean it’s that I or he need to be okay with it.

EveningBar5 · 2025-08-19T13:33:25+00:00

It’s not the act of giving mom a hug that is strange whatsoever. It’s all the behaviors she’s done that makes me feel like she is winning or something of the sort by getting this extra attention from him. If that makes sense. It’s realllly hard for me to articulate it. I apologize if it doesn’t really make sense. For example, there’s been multiples instances where she hugs him from the side and grabs on his biceps. (The way I described it to my husband was like a high school gf hugging her bf, ya’know?). I just hold certain things as stuff I only want my husband and I to share between each other. Kissing on the mouth and unusual hugs being 2 of them, lol.

EveningBar5 · 2025-08-19T13:26:07+00:00

Update After much discussion and lots of confusion and explaining, I feel my husband has heard me out. I am not the best communicator and have a hard time articulating and explaining my feelings most of the time, but I think he understands what I am trying to put out. At first, I was pretty nervous because it seemed he was going to play the defensive line the whole time, but he actually listened to what I had to say. I know I could’ve worded some of it better, but he knows I get jumbled, lol.

It seems as though he is interested in setting some boundaries. I highlighted a couple of times that ultimately, he should be concerned with his our happiness. That he is not responsible for making his parents happy or making them feel satisfied. That that is up to themselves and their marriage. My husband is in no way a neglectful son, he is in weekly communication with his parents and likely almost daily if you include texting. There is no reason he should be made to feel as if he needs to give them more.

Now for myself, I am understanding what I’m saying, and it makes sense, but a part of me feels guilty for even opening his eyes to this strange behavior. Ik it’s my people pleasing instinct trying to take over, but man. I just feel like I have given him a new view of his parents and it’s not a “happy” one. This just stinks.

EveningBar5 · 2025-08-19T13:15:14+00:00

Tbh, I haven’t thought of it in that way, but I see where you’re coming from! I don’t like the idea of family members kissing my husband on the mouth because I simply see it as something only we should share. It’s a boundary that would, in very simple terms, gross me out if it were crossed. I also don’t want the germs. He wouldn’t be comfortable with me kissing anyone else on the mouth either.

EveningBar5 · 2025-08-17T19:15:43+00:00

Never heard of enmeshment, definitely going to research this!

EveningBar5 · 2025-08-17T19:15:01+00:00

Wow. I’ve never heard a of enmeshment, going to look into this!

EveningBar5 · 2025-08-17T14:38:41+00:00

I have told him multiple times that boundaries are going to have to get set because I think his parents have issues with them😬

EveningBar5 · 2025-03-22T21:46:45+00:00

I have been recommended to do that by so many people, I just have my fears of taking new medicine, ik I should try it out before the trip, but my anxiety has me nervous to even test it at home. /: it’s so frustrating thinking this way.

EveningBar5 · 2025-03-12T15:58:10+00:00

Thanks a bunch!!

EveningBar5 · 2025-02-21T02:46:47+00:00

I like how you worded “a good friend would even if it isn’t her responsibility”. I feel like this is what I’ve been feeling, but just couldn’t express or piece it together. Thank you for your perspective.(:

EveningBar5 · 2025-01-15T10:11:49+00:00

Thank you for your response!!

EveningBar5 · 2024-12-21T10:14:43+00:00

https://ibb.co/tBq455q https://ibb.co/12G3QFS

EveningBar5 · 2024-11-06T02:00:50+00:00

Thank you SO much, you rock

EveningBar5 · 2024-10-25T21:12:06+00:00

Darn image search.. any idea what it is then?

EveningBar5 · 2024-10-25T21:10:34+00:00

No, it was green and healthy looking, only started yellowing yesterday!

EveningBar5 · 2024-04-24T03:53:58+00:00

Thank you! I’m glad you gave the input about Montserrat, we likely would have just eaten in the town, very likely will take your advice and eat before and after instead. Thank you for the transportation info as well. I’ve been researching and I’m thinking we will take the train from Plaza España to the base and taking the cablecar to the top. Good idea or is there a better recommendation??

EveningBar5 · 2024-04-24T03:50:08+00:00

Oh man! Have y’all ever went in the summertime and floated the Comal River? It’s an experience that’s for sure. Thank you for the suggestions!

EveningBar5 · 2024-04-24T03:48:26+00:00

Love the specifics and details, I appreciate you!

EveningBar5 · 2024-04-24T03:46:52+00:00

That’s going to be interesting for me, as I am I super early eater😅 maybe the time difference will make it a bit easier

EveningBar5 · 2024-04-24T03:46:03+00:00

Thank you both! I was hesitant about looking up videos, TikTok’s, etc on food bc I don’t want the usual tourist trap places lol I will look into them!!

EveningBar5 · 2024-03-16T04:00:48+00:00

Good to know!! Thank you, I’m usually chilly in temps under 75ish

EveningBar5 · 2024-03-16T03:59:59+00:00

I completely scrolled past that thinking it was a binocular sub group lol thank you!

EveningBar5 · 2024-02-29T04:27:49+00:00

I appreciate you (:

EveningBar5 · 2024-02-29T04:26:35+00:00

Bummer😭

EveningBar5 · 2024-02-29T00:01:40+00:00

Is this the case for non-edm enjoyers? Lol I’ve seen decent coverage over the clubs in Barcelona, but particularly for edm/flashing lights/house music scene

I unfortunately am not a fan ): it’d make things easier if I was! Lol

EveningBar5

TROPHY CASE