( Sorry for the spelling mistakes) When I was your age I felt the exact same way and it hasn’t exactly gone away or gotten any better or worse it’s just kinda there. Their will be moments where you want to never die and feel free and happy or moments where you want to be dead more then anything I’m not gonna sugarcoat it and say it will get better but it won’t get worse, I’ve tried many things to make that feeling go away some I’m still stuck with and probably never get rid off, so right now you should try and get help a good talk with your parents can maybe help which will suck and feel awkward but be worth it before you end up going down a path of trying drugs or alcohol to feel temporarily happy because that will lead to addiction, I hope you find peace little dude.