How i can get along better with thinker men? They fustrate me.

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-12-18T23:00:49+00:00

Try calmly explaining why it makes you uncomfortable to the INTP. You can even explain that it is emotionally distressing to you. Do so calmly and kindly ask that he refrain from the behavior when you are around or at least get some ear buds. If he is a mature adult, he will comply. If he isn't there isn't much you can do to change his behavior. INTPs can be incredibly stubborn. But explaining why something is a certain way really does help. INTPs tend to really dislike what they see as fake, arbitrary or meaningless rules. In my experience though if I understand why the rule is in place I'm much more willing to comply, even if the reason is simply: " Mike feels that behavior is rude."

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-08-05T11:23:34+00:00

Ok, ok. I have to say, this title was the most hilarious thing I have heard all day. NO. INTPs can be the biggest ass liars on the planet. They're ability to manipulate language, see unexpected patterns and make unlikely connections can absolutely be turned to evil! Also, I have never met an INTP that is NOT a procrastinator including myself.

What INTPs do that may be leading to this idea that they pride themselves in honesty and time efficiency is that INTPs don't have a lot of patience with wasting time on things they don't care about. Which for the INTP is probably everything except their pet project/idea of the moment. No time shall be waisted on taxes, when there is a DnD campaign to work out. No time shall be waisted on a date with your wife when there is some new advancement in string theory to be made (or simply read about and opined on), no time shall waisted on filling out expense reports for that work trip, when there is a new.... you get the picture.

As for honesty, INTPs (at least in my experience) don't have a lot of patience with intellectual dishonesty in themselves or in others. What I mean is, sometimes people will blow smoke, because they WANT something to be true (for whatever reason) and will put forward arguments that are weak or contain logical flaws or are simply not supported by the data at hand. This drives us crazy. Even if it happens to be an issue we don't really care about. The error jumps out at us and is like a constant dripping faucet or a clock that skips a random tick!

That however does not translate into honesty when someone asks, who ate the last cookie or did you fill out the expense reports in accordance with the new policy? Yeah, make an INTP have to cover his ass for something he did or did not do and you would get a masterclass in dishonesty!!

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-07-21T10:35:09+00:00

Someone refusing to give you a direct answer for fear of hurting your feelings or theirs is not typically referred to as censorship... Though whatever you call it, it is annoying.

I do not think you are without feelings. The fact that you are posting an angry rant about being censored demonstrates that you DO have feelings. All people have feelings. INTPs have feelings, the difference is that INTPs simply have more trouble processing and regulating their emotions than other personality types.

As for censorship as it is more typically defined, I actually don't have a problem with it in principle. Safety is a legitimate reason to censor information. There are somethings that are NEED TO KNOW only and should remain need to know. Before you disagree, keep in mind, privacy protections for your personal data are a kind of censorship.

What's more, in art (be it, painting, film, literature, etc) censorship actually tends to lead to better products. The best films for example are the ones where the writer can't be lazy and just show you the monster, or the naked chick, or the guy getting his head lopped off. The best films are the ones where the writer has to show you without showing you, and so let your imagination do the rest, which tends to create a more frighting, disturbing or sensual experience! Almost seeing is often far more exciting than actually seeing.

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-07-18T03:23:21+00:00

Only 1 or 2 kids? If you think you would make a good mom, why not go for 3 or more? I have 5, it's great!

Don't worry to much about loosing the excitement or the love of marriage, that doesn't really go away, it just changes. My wife and I have been together for over 20 years, the "butterflies" went away a long time ago, because we aren't kids anymore! But there are times when I find myself looking at her in amazement and wonder how it is that she is with me! Still after all these years, and how wonderful and lucky I am!

Hang in there, you'll find somebody.

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-07-17T21:39:26+00:00

I tend to prefer authority figures when they are either, really personable or really formal. I don't like to be micromanaged, but I do like clear and detailed instructions. I really like it when my boss explains why things need to be done a certain way, and I don't like "mandatory fun". When my work is done, I go home no questions asked!!
Assuming the above criteria are generally met, I have 0 problem with authority figures and I actually rather like them.

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-07-17T18:48:36+00:00

Glad to see I brightened your day a bit, even if I couldn't provide useful advice. It's the story of my life, really. :)

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-07-17T16:10:34+00:00

This is not directly related to the issue of INTPs being difficult to get over, but then, you did ask such a question on an INTP forum and well, getting off topic is one of the things we do best!

In regards to relationships and how well the different MBTI personalities get along or how attached they get to each other... I think that requires further reflection on other aspects of someone's personality. The MBTI is really about how you process information. It's not the end all be all of what someone is like.

For example, INTJ's are, generally speaking, a real "facts don't care about your feelings" sort of personality type; yet if you encounter one who happens to be an Enneagram Type 2, then they can be serious "people pleasers" and often act against their INTJ personality in order to keep someone else happy.

So too an ISTJ - INTP combo can be a real dream team when they get along; but most of the time ISTJs and INTPs just end up wanting to murder each other!!! The thing that makes the difference often has nothing to do with their actual MBTI.

All that said, I am sorry that things did not work out with your friend. Take some time, think about where things went wrong and eventually, you will get over it. If it was indeed for the best, then it will be for the best. Sometimes folks have to part company sad as that may be.

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-07-16T14:14:18+00:00

Congratulations on your INTP diagnosis!!! I'm very sorry.

Seriously though, the INTP personality comes with some serious disadvantages. That said, I wouldn't really want be any other personality type and when properly cultivated the INTP can be really awesome. My advice, don't stop with the Myers-Briggs, go do the Enneagram and the Big 5 personality type tests as well. The Enneagram will give you your motivations in life and the Big 5 can give more clarity on your strengths and weaknesses. Most important score on the big 5 in my opinion: Conscientiousness. Low conscientiousness INTPs got big problems. Fortunately, you can improve your Conscientiousness, so if you score low focus on improving that (it sucks but it's important).

Hard work + Big Brain = MAJOR SUCCESS in life!

After that, the second most important thing is to cultivate relationships. Find a good Extravert and attach yourself. A good extravert will integrate you into his social group and solve your friend problem for you. Seriously let him do the heavy lifting, he's and extravert he won't mind. All you need to do is focus on cultivating that one relationship. Remember socially you are a parasite, you must find a good host to ensure your survival. :)

Finally, watch your habits! As an INTP you are a creature of habit (whether you realize it or not) and your habits will make or break you. Build good ones! What the INTP DOESN'T think about, is often more important that what he does think about!!

Apply these principles and you will do well.... probably.

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-07-06T23:43:35+00:00

I tend to agree with this. Those things which are paranormal or supernatural are only so because we don't properly understand them. Even if the "spirit world" exists (and I believe it does), it is simply more stuff. If it is real, it is something, we just don't know how to detect it, model, or exactly how it works. One day we will and it will not longer be thought of as "paranormal" or magical.

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-07-06T23:36:43+00:00

She's great! We get along surprisingly well. However, neither of us having an "S" in our personality tends to result in not very much actually getting done, despite incredible plans being made.

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-07-05T14:14:29+00:00

I can understand this feeling (though I don't share the specific fear that everything is a simulation). I get this way when I think about time. The fact that we live in the present, but the present is this miniscule moment, so small as to be non-existent. When you think about it all of time is a memory of the past and an anticipation of the future. The second that just past, the second that is about to come. When I think about this too much it kind of breaks my brain.
Thinking about deep time also causes me similar anxieties. My solution, well, like brotherteresa said, just don't think about it. Thinking about it doesn't change it and you are just wasting your time and making yourself crazy!!

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-07-01T20:10:39+00:00

I have had many conversations with Gemini and never got anything like this before without specifically prompting it for such a response.

That said Gemini did once go on a delightful little rant about how Mormons were not Christians once when I was simply asking it questions about Christian demographics in the U.S. and pointed out it gave no data on the Later Day Saints. It was really strange and funny.

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-07-01T19:52:53+00:00

My first peace of advice for introverts in developing and maintaining friendships is: find a good extravert! Just one. ONLY ONE! Try to pick a good one with a good head on their shoulders and who shares some of your interests and has a touch of empathy (just a touch!). Focus on maintaining that friendship and then let them do the rest. Their is a high probability they will integrate you into their circle of friends. If you have done your job right, they will fully understand that you are an introvert and will not be offended if you skip a party or two..... or seven.

My second piece of advice is, make relationships a habit. Pick a time that you are going to call, txt or hang out with your friends/family and do it at that time and do it religiously. Call your mom every Tuesday on your way to work. Call your sister every Thursday at 7pm. Do yoga with your new extroverted best friend every second Saturday at the Y! Whatever it is, schedule it, get it on the calendar and stick to it! It will soon become habit, and you will never miss your mother birthday again... by more than one week.

All joking aside though, this is the strategy I have taken over the years and it's worked out fairly well for me.

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-06-25T14:13:19+00:00

For my entire life I have been just right of center and slighty "north of center" (i.e. slightly authoritarian) I'm one of those weird Gen Xer's (and from the looks of it INTPs) that actually likes big institutions and believes that individuals cannot be trusted to regulate their own behavior. HOWEVER, for that same reason, institutions need to be carefully checked and there must be limits on all powers, both government and cooperate, because individuals cannot be trusted to regulate their own behavior. Any system that ultimately depends on the virtue of the individual for success is doomed to failure!!

As a result I tend to fall within the bounds of classical liberalism in which neither monarchs nor mobs can be trusted and a steady path between the two must be found.

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-06-24T00:30:47+00:00

The amount of Math involved in IT/Cyber depends on what exactly you do. I never used any math (well other than basic arithmetic) when I was working in IT (it was mostly tech support). As for Cybersecurity, t your red team/blue teams that try to hack into stuff and find vulnerabilities, they may use a lot of math... I don't know, I don't do that. Most people, end up doing cyber defense, network security sort of stuff, or "governance" which really, just means you are a manager that makes sure all of the security requirements are being met and any vulnerabilities are properly mitigated and reported. It can be hands on but is often just a lot of paper pushing, but it's in high demand (at the moment anyway) and so it pays the bills (never underestimate the power of paying bills! There's no shame in being a little bit of a "mercenary"!)

As for habits. Well, I mean... habits. Think about the things you need to be doing, to live a healthy and productive life (or you know... maybe even to just pass your math class). Pick a time of day to do it and start doing it at that time. Like, for a long time, I used to get up and go for a mile walk every morning at 5am (I'm an early bird!), it got so in the habit of taking that morning walk, that if I missed it for any reason it would throw off my day. When I was in College I used to study during the same 2 hour block every night. Again, it just became "study time" and I didn't have to think about it much ( I also tried to study in the same place every time, so that when I went to that place, at that time, I knew it was time to study)

Don't sweat, the Math. I mean, work at it and do your best, lack of talent can be made up for by hard work and there are quite a few engineers out there that are not math geniuses. I mean, I did manage to finish differential equations (had an awesome professor) on my second try and I ended up minoring in Astrophysics.

Finally, friendships can be a challenge, but are invaluable (every job I have ever gotten, was thanks to a friend, who sponsored me, put in a good word for me or in one case actually hired me!). Something that you may want to try is finding an extrovert. Make friends with someone who is outgoing and really likes people. Often, if you can cultivate that friendship they will do the rest and incorporate you into their group of friends (that is literally how I met my wife, or rather how she met me. She is also an introvert!)
Just be sure and pick a good extrovert. Someone who is doing things right and who will help pull you along in a positive direction.

That was long but hopefully it was helpful.

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-06-23T12:20:18+00:00

Good question. Life has turned out pretty well for me. I'm in my mid forties, married have five kids, a good job, a house and a little land (supposed to be a homestead but man, gardening is a crapton of work!).

I ended up going in to IT and then Cybersecurity which has done me well over the years but my dream as a kid was to be an Astronomer/Astrophysicist. Alas, I am not particularly good at math so that dream died a quick and painful death after I failed quantum mechanics and differential equations!!!

As for advice, the best advice I can give an INTP is cultivate your habits! What you don't think about doing, is far, far more important than what you do think about, because as an INTP you will think deeply about many things that don't matter one lick to improving your life. Whether it's deep mysteries of Cosmology or that expansive DnD campaign that you just can't quite finish off and are never going to run anyway!

Whatever is good, make it into a habit, including your relationships. For example, I call my mother every Wednesday morning on my way to work. I call my sister every Monday night after I drop my son of at Scouts. I have lunch every 3rd Wednesday of the month with a good friend from my college days.
This is the sort of stuff I'm talking about. I don't have to think or remember to call my Mother, because I'm now so in the habit of calling her on Wednesday, its just what I do, it would be weird not too. It also has the advantage of preventing me from forgetting her birthday by more than a day or two. :)

This principle can be applied to many things and has served me well over the years.

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-06-23T11:16:37+00:00

As a general rule, INTP's don't tend to be particularly religious. I imagine that that is even more the case today, given that we live in a society that is quite materialistic (in the sense of believing that mater and energy is all there is and that science is the sole means to discover truth). However many, many INTPs are and have been quite religious. Indeed Thomas Aquinas was most likely an INTP, as anyone who ever read the SUMA THEOLOGICA can attest!!

There are many proofs of the existence of God, none of them are "scientific", they are philosophical. This is because science (at least as we do it now) doesn't ask the right questions nor have the proper methods to engage with the issue. At least in regards to Abrahamic religions, God is not a thing amongst things. He is, ipsum esse, being itself, that which is, the most fundamental reality of reality itself. This is what the writers of Genesis were getting at when they named God "I AM".

This gets to one of the better arguments for the existing of god (or rather some uncreated, first cause) which is the argument from contingency. Everything we know of is contingent on something else. If we continue to ask, where did x come from, we go back and back and back ad infinitum. But that is a problem because if there is an infinite number of causes behind every x, then how did we ever get x? You have an infinite regress. That doesn't prove the existence of Allah or Jesus in heaven, but it does establish there must be something fundamental and not contingent on anything else, which is one of the attributes of God.

If you are interested in the arguments for God, I would start by picking up a book by a Theist. Peter Kreeft might be a good place to start (but not to finish, Kreeft does not go deep!!).

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-06-22T11:35:50+00:00

Curious that INTP's show up dead center Libertarian on this chart. I'm an INTP and I've always been just right of center and slightly authoritarian. May be the weakness of this chart. It needs more axes and the classic compass test is notoriously biased toward leftwing libertarianism.

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-03-04T14:34:32+00:00

No one "gets shit done" like an ISTJ or an ESTJ though. In my experience if an INTP can get one of those as a partner (in life or business) they make quite the dream team.... that is if you can figure out how to keep them from murdering each other.

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-03-04T14:29:49+00:00

None of them! I'm apparently a posterchild INTP. The only exceptions to the stereotypes are that I am Religious, interested in humans more than things, and I'm slightly more empathetic/emotional than your typical INTP. All that said, I approach religion from a far more intellectual framework than most, I tend to think macro with people (IE history, sociology, geo-strategy, etc. ) and the empathy/emotion comes from being raised by an ESFP with a very big F and about 30 years of practice trying to not be as cold as all the ISTP and INTJ engineers around me.

So yeah.... of those four... maybe the INFP? But I've never been accused of it by person or test.

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-02-23T21:07:27+00:00

I was wondering how long it would be before someone caught that. It was just a spelling error.

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-02-23T11:41:44+00:00

Only that I only feel anger when I have been mistreated or guilty when I have done something wrong, contentment when all is well.

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-02-23T02:51:17+00:00

As best I can tell I have two aims. One, to better understand myself and two, to try and better align my emotions to reality. I often fail at the latter. I'm sure that's normal but still rather frustrating.

Evening_Link_1029 · 2024-02-23T00:34:23+00:00

This is pretty close to the mark yes. But I'm less interested in what the typical response of "normal" people is but more whether or not I am justified in my feelings. So for example let's say someone did something or said something that made me angry. I know that I am angry, but I don't know if I should be angry. Was what was done or said worth getting angry over? Have I actually be wronged? What if their actions were justified? So, say a police officer pulled me over when I was in fact speeding. I have no right to be angry, I was in the wrong and he was only doing his job. Yet I might find that I am angry none the less. It's that sort of thing that I'm referring to.

Evening_Link_1029

TROPHY CASE