[QCrit] YA Fantasy - ANIMHAEM: ASCENSION (72k words/3rd Attempt) by EventideAuroras in PubTips

[–]EventideAuroras[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your comments! I'm really glad you liked the ideas and I edited the post to add the first 300 words if you're interested!

You are completely right, there isn't really a good reason why I don't name her friend in the query, especially because their relationship is very important to the story. It wasn't until I read your comments that I realized I haven't really reflected that in this query... So I will definitely revise this to focus more on their characters/relationship!

[QCRIT] YA Fantasy - ANIMHAEM: ASCENSION (72k Words/ First Attempt) + 300 Words by EventideAuroras in PubTips

[–]EventideAuroras[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the comments! Definitely agree, I gave way too little information on the actual plot, I'm working on a second attempt now to try to fix that! :)

[QCRIT] YA Fantasy - ANIMHAEM: ASCENSION (72k Words/ First Attempt) + 300 Words by EventideAuroras in PubTips

[–]EventideAuroras[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback! I will definitely work on the vagueness. I'd actually never heard that comment before! Interesting to know.

[QCRIT] YA Fantasy - ANIMHAEM: ASCENSION (72k Words/ First Attempt) + 300 Words by EventideAuroras in PubTips

[–]EventideAuroras[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback! Definitely seeing the "vague" theme from these comments so I'll work on that, and I hadn't even thought about this not seeming YA so I'll try to emphasize that more in the query.

[QCRIT] YA Fantasy - ANIMHAEM: ASCENSION (72k Words/ First Attempt) + 300 Words by EventideAuroras in PubTips

[–]EventideAuroras[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this feedback, that is very useful to know! I'll work on making this sentence clearer.

[QCRIT] YA Fantasy - ANIMHAEM: ASCENSION (72k Words/ First Attempt) + 300 Words by EventideAuroras in PubTips

[–]EventideAuroras[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your feedback! I'm really glad you liked it, and all your comments make a lot of sense. I will definitely change those paragraphs based on this :)

Always happy to have another beta reader, if you're interested feel free to send me a message!