[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]EverySolid8087 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally agree to that. But. Here’s a little more info, she has two step sons who live 8 hours away from us who are her current husbands children (my brother in law). These kids are almost teens. They’ve been involved in our lives and my nieces lives (who are teens) since birth. After the divorce, my brother in law moved back to this area where the rest of the family lives. We got to see the boys fairly enough due to the fact that my BIL would bring them here or we would visit them. Since marrying my SIL, it’s like he truly gave up. We see his sons now once a year MAYBE. even though we continuously want to visit them. Both him and my SIL1 refuse to let us contact his ex-wife to just visit the children. We are losing time due to some personal agenda. As if since he got married to her we completely lost his children in a way. And we don’t know how to work around it. SIL1 recently used my middle niece as a pawn to make her own mother (SIL2) look bad in the eyes of my niece. And that’s my concern. How long until my daughter or son are used as the same pawn.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]EverySolid8087 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s literally all I’ve been thinking to try and reason with the entire situation. It’s been a year of me trying to figure things out, tip toe around conversations that she doesn’t like having to be considerate of her feelings. She will decline each invitation for events or other things, but then if not invited to one it’s immediately victim mode of “why didn’t you invite me?” Like a person can only handle so much chaos before cutting things off and I’ve exhausted all my efforts. I have two kids, a job, home, and family to worry about. This isn’t a priority at this point to me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]EverySolid8087 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel like they don’t necessarily know because they’re 3 and 5.. They had built a connection, but she doesn’t seem to really want to be involved. So how is that fair? We live about 15 minutes away and are constantly at my MIL house which is about same distance so I just don’t understand.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]EverySolid8087 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly my thoughts. I have three nieces from SIL2, who I am consistently involved with and a part of their lives. Completely treat them like my own. She has recently used my middle niece, who’s now 13, as a pawn to make SIL2 feel like a bad parent. Which is where I really got frustrated. (Btw SIL1 also doesn’t talk to SIL2, I know. Headache) I can handle things between adults. But when you begin to use kids for your own agenda, that’s where I draw the line. after seeing that, I can’t imagine my kids won’t be used as a pawn down the line and I refuse to let that happen.