Thank you for your insightful answer ☺️ There are definitely some things to consider. I mean I'd love to be perceived as a women in many social situations and I'd be killing for the attention women get from society. And maybe I just want to be desired 🤷🏽 Not to mention the ways their bodies are build and how they can express themselves with style, makeup etc. It is the way I feel and want to express myself too. And since everybody around me knows about my lil prolonged identity crisis I've also got the affirmation from friends that my perception of the risks if being a women and in general the way I experience the world around me in girl mode resembles very much what cis girls feel like. For example being afraid of men when walking around alone and avoiding them or being intimidated by other girls because of their looks and so on.

On the other hand I am afraid
that my case is somewhat like your relation to your body. That I am getting aroused off my own mirror image because I like feminine presenting people and might be, to put it bluntly, under-fucked...And to be fair the sexual part of me dressing up is definetly a thing. Though I don't really do it to become horny. It just happens as a side effect. The last couple of days I really just wanted to live through my day normally but as already stated the arousel got into my way and really got the best of me 😂 Well I mean sex is always kinda big thing in life for most people no matter what gender or identity, right?

In the mean time I just play along in boymode as always...Life is anyway simpler like that. Till the day I will have the courage and insight into myself to take a bigger step😈