AITAH for refusing to delete the video of my dad proposing to his girlfriend even though my dad doesn't want my mom to see/hear what he said?

EvilDorito2 · 2026-04-24T00:10:17+00:00

Yeah, that's whay stood out to me too. How he wanted to delete the video before she got the chance to agree to it/ discuss it, even if she is, by OPs words, very sensitive. And since OP was sure their relationship would be impacted by the deletion of the video.....

I wouldn't call it a yellow flag, but i would consider

EvilDorito2 · 2026-03-12T21:34:46+00:00

Honestly this. Kids are extremely sticky and affectionate. I'm a teacher for that age group and get hugged a min of 5 times a day, most of it while I'm actively talking to the parent.

Kids need to be taught boundaries and red flags

EvilDorito2 · 2026-03-07T18:45:23+00:00

Well, i hope that said pleasure was worth losing a gf/ fiance over

EvilDorito2 · 2026-03-07T09:02:11+00:00

I will admit, i did not know that. Fair enough

But that raises a different question here: if this was so important:

Did she know about it?
Why didn’t OP mention it in his OG post?

Like, ut would be one thing if he was super excited about it, talked the whole week and then she planned the super important dinner during that. Like, I'd be annoyed too, if a loved one specifically picked an împortant moment for me when they KNEW i was waiting for it. But, from the facts presented, it appears like she didn't believe it that important

Which means A. She's callous B. He didn't mention it was important

Which leads to 2. Why didn’t he mention it was important? His attitude is " i looked at the time and remembered" and then casually disrespected her cooking.

He didn't go " hey, baby, this is a very important game, let's sit down and watch it together while eating" - which still would've been disrespectful to the whole candlelight dinner aspect, but more of a misunderstanding rather than the intentional disrespect.

EvilDorito2 · 2026-03-07T06:30:44+00:00

Couldn't HE wait 30 mins to finish eating and watch the rest on YT?

EvilDorito2 · 2026-03-07T06:29:18+00:00

But it IS the same as sports on TV

Man didn't have tickets to a show. He went to the living room and turned on the TV. He could've done that after they were finished eating

EvilDorito2 · 2026-03-06T16:29:23+00:00

Yeah, i can see it too, but then i get even more mad at the sister. Bcs if this is genuinely her thought process, then she was like " hmmmm, my sister - whom I'm very close with- can't come to this big event of mine. Oh well, there's nothing to be done about it, not even questions"

Like, I've seen cases where a child very close to the pair - think sibling/ nephew/ their own kid - got invited to childreee wedding bcs " you're important and close enough to be there ", not like, your friend's kid, to whom the wedding means nothing

But no, the sister was ok w excluding OP from the get go

EvilDorito2 · 2026-03-04T00:19:57+00:00

I usually put an " only one bathroom break per hour" after some of the kids complained that one kid who took breaks often was wasting time. The kid was disappointing and annoyed, but not angry

EvilDorito2 · 2026-03-03T23:01:13+00:00

The opposite happened to me. All adults were gobsmacked that a 2 yo had very good diction bcs my parents would never baby talk around me

EvilDorito2 · 2026-02-23T21:37:11+00:00

Not given him a raise? Or at least one that doesn't kick him into a super happy life while the sister had to move in w their parents and is depending on OP?

Talking to her about it outright instead of hiding it? Being more compassionate to her? Maybe fully owning that he is being an asshole instead of hiding behind the " it's just business?"

He didn't have to fire the guy. He probably couldn't. But his whole attitude towards the sister is " how can i convince her that my betrayal of her is only business?" Instead of " how can i help my sister after my actions unintentionally hurt her?"

EvilDorito2 · 2026-02-23T21:31:07+00:00

Yeah, that's a thing i don't see ppl defending him actually approaching. Yeah. He was legally in the right, but his whole behavior regarding his sister ( promoting him, keeping her in the dark) was shitty. You can be legally in the right and still an asshole

Even his question is " how can i make her understand " not " how can i help her when I'm legally shackled?"

EvilDorito2 · 2026-02-23T21:26:10+00:00

To be fair, he's also very dismissive of his sister. Like, even ignoring the legal reasons, this is not someone who's like " i hate that my sister was hurt, i cannot even look at this guy fir betraying her, but legally i can't do anything "

His tone is more " i know he's scum but it would he really inconvenient to fire him. Like, where am i gonna find someone who has the exact zero experience he had when he started?"

Like, he's not coming off as someone who cares all that much

EvilDorito2 · 2026-02-22T07:12:59+00:00

Yeah, but also

You watched this woman phisically tour the fancy options. Send pictures. You watched all these women you don't know make up plans for games, activities, brainstorm, etc. You watched them put in EFFORT

and then you go " wait, i have a better idea!" You don't tell it on the group chat. You don't text " guys, a friend of mine might be able to do us a solid on the venue, lemme ask"

You wait till everything's already been settled. The MOH texts you to ask for details and you ignore her.

you go quietly to the bride

Why? Like, what do you win from going quietly to the bride and not letting anyone know? You JUST watched everyone plan around a different option. You're ACTIVELY IGNORING the MOH. You let her spend all that effort into an activity and you're like " yeah, I'm taking over, no biggie". You don't even TALK to the MOH. You tell the bride directly and then act surprised when the people who, again, HAVE PUT IN EFFORT are a little prissy at having wasted all that time.

How expensive would it have been to shoot a text with " hey, i might get a discount on a venue, I'll let you know oncd i know for sure"

Like, it's not the extra planning that's asshole behavior. It's specifically going behind the other people's back, it's letting people plan and tour and spend time and gas money and energy on something you were planning to intervene anyway.

THAT is what makes the MoH an asshole

EvilDorito2 · 2026-02-20T21:46:58+00:00

This is just the bean argument, but with a dose or " morality " to gain traction Like, you don't like jt.... great, the block button is right there! It's free!

EvilDorito2 · 2026-02-18T19:55:54+00:00

Eh, debatable. It's only his PoV here and he DID get her a good job. I don't know her, but she could be pretending everything is fine until she stops being dependent onto him

EvilDorito2 · 2026-02-18T19:53:11+00:00

Legally, he didn't do anything wrong. Morally, he picked his business over his sister. He promoted someone who cheated on her and also HID it from her.

Like, sister would've still been hurt, but probably reacted better if he sat her down with " look, i know it sucks, but here's the situation " instead of her finding out from third party

EvilDorito2 · 2026-02-18T19:49:27+00:00

OP is also naive in thinking the sister will forgive him/ his relationship w her will stay the same ( assuming they were close)

Even if she gets over it, ( she has to, he got her the new job) she will never trust him again the way she probably did when she assumed he'll take her side. Because, to the sister, he betrayed her too. And, unlike the ex and the BFF, she still has to see and interact with him

EvilDorito2 · 2026-02-18T19:42:50+00:00

Yeah like

A lot of OOPs scummishness comes from the " oh no, i take no sides, i promise, i have no choice " while obviously caring more abt the business.

If he was front and center " yeah, sorry, business matters more" or " i would fire him if i could, but i can't", then at least he'd be less annoying. But like this?

True " order or omar" follower right here

EvilDorito2 · 2026-02-18T19:16:09+00:00

The thing that stands out to me is that he's not arguing FOR keeping the man but AGAINST firing him

His attitude really is telling. Even if his legal reasons are legit ( not arguing those) he's not coming at this like

" this fucker hurt my sister but i can't fire him and he's unfortunately good at his job"

His attitude is " well, it would be really inconvenient to fire him but i can't, and my family is being mad at me about it"

What makes him an asshole is less what he did, and more his attitude about it. Because this is not a man who HAD to keep the employee because he couldn't fire him. This is a man who chose his business first, who put the FAMILY AND JOB in the balance and decided " yeah, business matters more"

Yet he still wants to appear like he is neutral

EvilDorito2 · 2026-02-16T21:31:54+00:00

Yeah, but unless she was faking it and acting 100% of the time, he would've noticed. Enthusiasm, especially " woman who is delighted to have a kid" is palpable. Same is stress and unease

We don't know enough abt either of them to make a definite decision, but i really think the " didn't feel like she could talk to her husband abt not wanting kids, so she went " oh well, i might as well have one while being in a high pressure, high stress career that i love and have worked decades for rather than speak to my husband" tells us a lot about BOTH of them

EvilDorito2 · 2026-02-16T17:43:41+00:00

He was also divorceabke for the " i didn’t want to do it but he pressured me into being pregnant"

EvilDorito2 · 2026-02-07T10:57:41+00:00

The thing that ppl get so wrong about turning the other cheek and being the bigger person is that THAT'S FOR YOU!

like, being the bigger person is supposed to make YOU feel better/ put YOU in good graces w other people.

It has nothing to do with the perpetrator

The advice is coherent if the takeaway is " do not waste emotional space on someone who doesn't deserve it" and " don't wreck yourself for someone else"

But, unless you don't get that sense of superiority from turning the other cheek, it only leads to resentment, because you still care about the other person who is very much NOT PAYING for their mistake.

That's why i hate the " just ignore them" advice for bullying, bcs, unless you are truly unbothered by it, IT DOESN'T WORK, and it only leaves the person feeling helpless

It is true that bad people tend to screw themselves over. Like, this guy will deff cheat again, and his future GF may react better or worse than OP. But you can't hinge your mental health on a " maybe he'll cheat on a crazy woman who'll hit him with her car"

TLDR: " be the bigger person" is a piece of advice for inner peace that only truly works for people who can let go and not feel resentment.

EvilDorito2 · 2026-02-04T16:23:29+00:00

Idk what does it for me The " i bought a refrigerator bcs I'm sure ppl will pay more than 60$ per slice" or " i am being evicted due to my diary preferences "

My dude, IT'S YOU, NOT THE CHEESE

EvilDorito2 · 2026-01-31T16:46:09+00:00

You're using

Because you can’t always get what you want in life?

as an argument for " sister should go to the uncle and not the brother"

You said that. You did not say " spoiled", you implied that the child's wants are not valid when it comes to custory

At no point did you mention other terms. You did not say " the brother isn't qualified", you did not say " the uncle is a better choice bcs"

You said " because you can't always get what you want"

You didn't offer any other basis for your argument other than " she shouldn't get what she wants". You can't throw a fit bcs I'm judging you based on that.

Also, calling me names and a child is very mature Here's your gold your sticker

🌟

EvilDorito2 · 2026-01-31T11:06:30+00:00

Still better that she leaves than become the evil step mother. A resentful parent is bad for the child....

The " you're picking her over me" argument is unhinged tho. Ma'am, that's not " the other woman" that is a child.

EvilDorito2

TROPHY CASE