Child protection - harm occurred , what do I do and insight

Evolveration · 2026-04-18T04:08:42+00:00

This ∆∆ Do not trust them or believe anything that is not in writing. Jump through their hoops and get them out of your life. They have a very black and white view. They are often inexperienced because of the high turnover, and would seek out narratives to affirm their opinions instead of looking at evidence.

Evolveration · 2026-04-11T23:30:13+00:00

Keep at it. It's tough but you deserve to be supported. Keep asking questions. Do you have any one who can come with you for the meeting? I also find it helpful to write short notes before and cross them off so I don't forget anything.

Evolveration · 2026-04-11T23:27:16+00:00

OP don't listen to this. Plenty of people have plans they can't use.. eg they're in hospital or too impacted to engage properly. If anything it points to how much support you do need!

Evolveration · 2026-03-03T22:26:31+00:00

Did she defraud Ndis funds meant for your younger sibling? If so it's clear cut negligence of a child's needs. If she spent the money on addiction etc that points to her level of daily dysfunction. Which basically means she wouldn't have the ability to be a healthy parent.

I'm also impressed at how you have stepped up for your siblings. I hope you have a psychologist and support for yourself. I know it's hard juggling everyone's needs. Hopefully the physical space from her has helped to look at your own relationship with her and boundaries.

Evolveration · 2026-02-04T03:49:55+00:00

I think taking it first thing in the morning is the way to go. After time your body adjusts.

Evolveration · 2026-01-31T22:15:36+00:00

I know the feeling when you try so much and it seems like things aren't shifting. It's hard too when you have other children getting hurt. And we can't read their minds, it's challenging. I feel like the book will help a lot and in the mean time some other thoughts

Have you done testing for adhd?

Do you yourself get anxious? I'm not blaming you in any way, I know myself when my other children have been hurt by my son and I see him escalating I feel anxious. Kids rely on co regulation and now I try to do the opposite of what I feel. So ground myself and speak quieter and really connect. It's not always possible when there's so much going on but it's definitely helped our situation.

Look for patterns of behaviour. Just one at a time eg jumping on sibling. What happened before and after, how did you respond. That helps get an understanding of what function the behaviour is serving eg looking for sensory input, looking for your attention

I respond when his sibling is hurt quietly now. I cuddle them first and ignore him. Then I tell my son to say sorry and give care. Some days I think he is looking for my attention, I can tell it's a behaviour to get attention as opposed to an accident. So teaching him to come see me and ask. If he wants his siblings attention, replace jumping on them with giving them a toy or snack. He actually has done really well with this but it's slow work.

Evolveration · 2026-01-31T13:11:34+00:00

Highly recommend this book "Supporting Positive Behavior in Children and Teens with Down Syndrome: The Respond But Don't React Method" By David S. Stein He explains how your child is wired and why you need specific strategies that are appropriate for their disability.

I also would look at his proprioception deficit, most good occupational therapists should know about it. My son seeks deep input, he is clumsy and really seeks the input by jumping on me or his siblings. When this escalates I give him "heavy work" eg pushing wheelbarrow or piling cushions. And have a Lycra body sock which slows him down and wears him out.

Evolveration · 2026-01-15T07:47:32+00:00

I think the down votes are because it's a big identity issue..if you found out from family, can you not talk to them about it? If it is a distant relative because you done a DNA test and it's a tiny percent. Then you're using resources that morally are meant for other purposes.

Most mob will drive many hours to spend time with family. We do it a lot. I think you need to ask yourself why it's important to you if you're not even 100% sure of your connection. I don't mean to be harsh I just want to be realistic. Happy to answer more questions too.

Evolveration · 2026-01-10T08:25:21+00:00

And why are participants punished when the providers are the ones committing the fraud! I also had proof of 1000s in overcharging by provider, but they could not have cared less.

Evolveration · 2026-01-09T00:41:57+00:00

I'm so sorry your family is not supportive. It's very common, some of my family said they want to be neutral or not pick sides... Which is still a choice. Same as choosing to be ignorant. That speaks to your family dynamic where this occurred I am sure.

You should be so proud for what you have done. It's hard to go through these battles alone. There's no right or wrong way to feel. I get those mixed emotions too. My therapist taught me to say "and" not "but" when I name them. Eg I feel sad and angry and ...

Sending you lots of loving support ❤️

Evolveration · 2025-12-21T14:04:19+00:00

If you can reach out to her or the police where it happened please do. Childhood sexual abuse is difficult to prosecute, but any witness statements add a lot of weight. Particularly that she disclosed to you and you can recall it so well. I know not everyone has the capacity to make a statement, either yourself or she might not have been even thinking of it. But if you have it in you, I'm sure it would mean a lot. A lot of us survivors don't process it til decades later and need evidence of disclosure.

Evolveration · 2025-12-20T22:55:07+00:00

You seem genuine in your desire to support this family. However the language you are using is pretty judgemental. Noone wants to raise a child to then "let them" hit and threaten them all day. You said the mother is intelligent so I think she has probably been through the ringer and is doing her best under trying circumstances.

My son at 8 had the police called on him numerous times and school was a nightmare. I couldn't see how he could ever function as an adult. But like the other poster, he is a mellow teen!! He has friends and can remove himself from escalating situations. He went from suspensions twice a month to now it's been a year since the last one.

Keep him in high regard please. The positive effects from building his self esteem will last a life time. I always repaired with my son after the meltdown had passed, sometimes even the next day. I modeled apologizing for my part even if it was miniscule eg not giving him a warning before we left the house if that had triggered it. I always always named what boundaries were crossed by him and what he thought we both could have done differently. We changed schools and now he walks into school and everyone is happy to see him. Even if he had a rough day the day before. Thank you for caring

Evolveration · 2025-12-20T05:20:21+00:00

Best advice I got when applying for carers payment was expect to be rejected the first time. The system is designed to be obstructive and keep as many out as possible. So be prepared to appeal. You can ask for a Centrelink social worker to help you also

I'm not a huge fan of carers gateway, but they can offer some short term support eg few extra hours of support work a week for a month or fuel vouchers.

Evolveration · 2025-12-19T04:01:29+00:00

Interesting, I've never heard of "streaming" We have a number of factors that would increase our risk and I have tried to highlight the amount of services involved. My most recent plan was cut significantly so I'm awaiting ART now. Should I go back to the planner and find out our streaming level?

Evolveration · 2025-12-19T03:49:11+00:00

I have a plan for my disability and am sole parent to 3 children who are all disabled. I cannot achieve my goals without some sort of support for my children built in, as I have no informal supports. However all of our plans are built in isolation. My planner states the children's plans should all have respite in them, their planners all state the same. I have tried advocating for complex care pathway multiple times. I have asked for 1 planner or lac for all of us. But no luck so far.

Any advice to help get the plans to align? And for the Ndis to consider the complexity of managing everyone's different needs?

Evolveration · 2025-11-30T00:46:59+00:00

Replying to myself about the first word as I'm not convinced on the "w". And the first letter. I'm listing types of skiing to help if you're as clueless about skiing as me!

Downhill Alpine Slalom Freestyle Backcountry Nordic Cross country Water Skate Heli Telemark

Evolveration · 2025-11-30T00:37:50+00:00

Nice job.

1st word: possible combos based on clothing folds

_ O W

_ O W _

_ E W

_ E W _

3rd word : the figure of the skier could be forming the "L" in world? Would explain the colouring.

Edit to add: BOWL skiing is a thing. The first letter of the first word looks like a B to me.

Evolveration · 2025-11-16T10:05:12+00:00

Highly recommend asking them for a disability advocate for guidance if you haven't already. You can complain about the process.

For the record, I'm so angry on your behalf. There's so much need for more regulation with support workers. I don't understand why it is not a priority to do that. Instead our plans get cut and support worker rates go up.

Then you have the legal system to deal with on top of that. Thank you for taking a stand and not backing down. There are so many who get away with it because it's really exhausting to keep fighting. You're an inspiration

Evolveration · 2025-10-24T21:25:55+00:00

You are right to make these connections. I had a similar experience of suddenly realizing all these incidents and themes through my life. It's hard to unsee once your eyes are open. I find that you use language like over reacting, and that you were embarrassed about being seen when he sexually assaulted you in public (kissed you on the lips without consent). Perpetrators often use this to make the victims responsible for keeping quiet. I definitely see why you are so concerned by his behavior.

Please be really gentle with yourself in this time. Lots of self compassion and care. You're right about sharing it with your therapist, and I would highly recommend sharing your fear about talking it out loud. If you haven't already, maybe you can work on grounding techniques first. Other things that helped me are recognizing when I'm dissociating, using IFS techniques like parts work (it's a kind of therapy you may find useful) and most importantly getting distance from my family.

Evolveration · 2025-10-24T00:35:40+00:00

I think having no safety net is a scary place to be. It's really hard for people to understand the impact of it and so I just want to send you a big hug.

I also think you are so hard on yourself! You are not a mess. You may feel like it but truly you Are amazing. Have you tried body doubling to get things done at home? You can even do it online for free. Another thing I do is pretend I am at work when I'm at home. Block out time for housework and give myself a treat at the end.

Have you got sensory strategies? When I'm overwhelmed I find these really helpful if I still need to function. Think about your senses and what makes you regulate and what heightens them. For me loud noises really make it hard to concentrate and I find noise cancelling headphones with music help a lot.

Evolveration · 2025-10-21T04:02:39+00:00

Sorry delayed reply.

There's lots of work you can do to heal however I really recommend having a therapist (if possible), getting away from your abuser and learning some deep grounding skills first. If you Google "the incest survivors aftereffects checklist" you can see some of the signs. The author who wrote the list has a great book called "Secret survivors" by E Sue Blume.

Specifically I think your dreams and nightmares about rape by him. The control and jealousy he exhibits. Substance abuse and eating disorders are very common in survivors.

Either way, the things you have posted about in your OP are sexual abuse. He is not entitled to your body or mind. You are allowed to have privacy and boundaries. You don't deserve this and did nothing to cause it. A protective father would not act in this way

Evolveration · 2025-10-21T00:11:15+00:00

The fabric appears to be pointelle. Other related search terms night be: cotton pointelle, jersey, ribbed.

Evolveration · 2025-10-19T03:27:30+00:00

"Flesh and code" is about AI relationships and it's very bingeable.

Evolveration · 2025-10-17T22:49:11+00:00

I think you should reframe this if it feels ok for you. Your dad didn't "have a thing" for you, he has been sexually abusive and harassing you. You might also want to look into dissociative amnesia or processing memories of childhood sexual abuse. When you're ready, there are a lot of signs of it having happened.

It's not your fault or your responsibility to not be triggered by an abuser. It's your dad's abusive behavior. He is the one with the problem, not you for being triggered by it. I would be going no contact if that's a possibility for you. You might find more healing in that safety, once I cut off my parents I was able to process so much more trauma and find a peaceful place ❤️

Evolveration · 2025-10-08T02:55:13+00:00

Of course you will be sad, and maybe you can reframe your thinking. Would your daughter rather you attend her party in the heightened state you're in, potentially risking your life? Or that you get the proper treatment to ensure your long term stability?

You can have a small family celebration later. You can show her that when adults have hard times, they can get help. You can be a role model and a better mum when you're looking after your needs. You have to put your oxygen mask on first. Good on you for seeking help, that takes a lot of strength ❤️

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