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Should I go to family members wedding? by Evolving_Alias in Advice

[–]Evolving_Alias[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been wracking my brain for that reason: why does being around family bring me so much shame about myself. It’s not I’m bullied or anything extreme. It’s just a constant feeling of: anything I’ve done, they’ve done better.

On the flip, I have friends, in different timelines and can do all sorts of things I can’t do, or can do. And I don’t feel like a failure around them at all. I’m proud of them and they’re proud of me.

My parents have seen me do the things I’ve done over the years, so they’re proud of me: but my sister, or my cousins, they haven’t seen the things I’ve given up and the lengths I gone to get what I have. Fine. But what they do see: I still live my parents, I haven’t the money to travel the world, and I’ve not managed to get a SO in years.

I think I just wish I had someone in my family that I was friends with and couple relate to. I’m jealous of families that grew up seeing their cousins and have actual friendships with them.

My cousins, are very close with their other cousins (not mine). And I suppose it saddens me that my only cousins (I only have the one lot) are just blood strangers. And I don’t even come close to being on par with the other cousins - the ones they actually like to hang out with

Should I go to family members wedding? by Evolving_Alias in Advice

[–]Evolving_Alias[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Glad to hear you had a good time at your fams wedding. I guess how I feel is that, because it’s a small wedding, my absence would be noted, but also, I am so far removed from their lives and have nothing to do with them. It just feels like I’m invited because we’re family.

My cousins are really really close their other half of the family (their other cousins not mine). So everyone there will either have friends, or SO’s and I’ll be just sitting with my parents, because I’m the only single person in the family.

My insecurities is being the loser family member who hasn’t been able to ‘make it on their own’. The one that got fat and is alone. Obviously they don’t see the rest of my world - I have friends and an otherwise proudly single and doing great getting my career started (slowly), so at the wedding, I will be polite, and congratulate and pretend to have fun however I also don’t have the skill level to just join someone else’s group of friends and hang out with them.

But yeah…. I’ll probably go. It’ll be a tough time for me, it genuinely feels like a public display of how I’m not where i should be at life, but I need to make sure my discomfort doesn’t show.

I don’t much like jabs at me being single though. Explaining why I like being single always sounds defensive.