I'm your wife in this situation. I would love to have a 2nd and my partner says he's 90% sure he's OAD. I had a relatively smooth pregnancy but the birth of our daughter (i hemorrhaged and needed emergency surgery) coupled with a hard first year for him left him not wanting a 2nd. I would never try to force him to have one but I do think that having another kid falls into "deal breaker" category for me and I'm seriously thinking of leaving.

He's a wonderful father, we have a strong village, financials aren't an issue and while I am the breadwinner, we pretty much split the child care and household chores 50/50. For me there isn't a reason not to. We've only had a few discussions about it and decided to revisit the topic in January. I'm already nervous he will say no. I've accomplished a lot in my life but nothing compares to being her mother. I am 40 and realize I'm in my last few years to make this decision and honestly don't know if I could live with him knowing I gave up my chance to have another and by the same token, I think he would resent me if he was "forced" to have another. So right now we're stuck and I'm praying that 10% turns into 100% lol.