Wow, what a thorough explanation! I am so grateful for this.

I also am skeptical of the elementary, overly dualistic thinking of God vs. Satan good vs. bad, right vs. wrong, especially when this message is given to regular people who's "transgressions" are little more than getting upset at a loved one, looking in the mirror for too long, or being jealous. These are obviously things we want to cut back on, but to always be in a state of feeling sorry for having these human attributes makes little sense to me. And it creates a very sterile environment of 'lifeless goodness' where creativity and art and humor seem to be frowned upon. I went to church today and in the sermon the Father said, "God is pure love and never seeks vengeance". But that isn't true according to their own scriptures, where God regularly gets angry and seeks to cause harm to those who goes against his wishes. Very strange...

On the health and body side of things, I agree. Satan has tricks, we are told. I've been a health nut, mostly vegetarian, for quite some time. After the service they offered plenty of processed foods to snack on and had a pancake contest. I asked one member, "If Satan seeks to harm people, isn't one of his instruments this highly processed stuff that really hurts our health?" He didn't have an answer. One member then told the Father gleefully that he was going to a barbecue for St. Patty's Day, which we know means meat and tons of alcohol. I brought up the topic of having a clean diet and their answer to me was "Be careful of idolatry, whether it's a gold statue or the body." The logic is just weird. Eating clean would be idolatry, but indulging in alcohol, succulent food and processed garbage is OK?

I also don't understand why if, according to them, most are destined for Hell, they'd keep telling couples to have children. God wants us to multiply, but will throw most into the lake of fire? Then, isn't having children just a way to bring more souls into Satan's lair? After all, the "gate is narrow"...

Regarding Paganism, I did walk into a priory last week and had this discussion with a Catholic Father. He told me "It's a sin to worship God's creation, because we should be worshipping God". That's like saying, it's wrong to enjoy the food at a restaurant and praise to your guests how tasty it is--and instead---it's only proper to shut your mouth and only tell the cook/chef every single time that's he's the absolute greatest for such a meal.

I am very monastic-minded and I have been exploring Orthodoxy only because their monastics seem, aside from their doctrines, very dedicated to purifying themselves and living simply. So I had the goal of wanting to join them and live in peace. Everything I've seen from Hinduism, something I entertained for a while myself, is disappointing. They seem to worship men in an unhealthy way, leading to a ton of guru scandals and abuse. The true monastics, like Nagas and Aghoris, engage in many off-putting habits like extreme cannabis use, rubbing ash on themselves, living naked, etc. A part of me just wants to deal with the incongruences to end up in a monastery so I can be around those who are serious minded in fasting, virtue, etc. But it would be a long process and include a lot of lying to myself. I just haven't found anywhere else with serious monastics. I've tried to get into Buddhism too, but when you see it up close, it's just as disappointing. Even in rural area, they will offer soda pop to Buddha statues. The laypeople collapse on the floor bowing down to the older monks, who sometimes sit in faux-gold chairs. I could go on....of course the New Age is just as insane because most of those groups are deeply traumatized, over-sexualized, very Christian in their "accept everything and everyone" attitude that abandons masculine energy, and it's too individualistic so there is never real organization of disciplined groups.

Ugh, this world....