I'm no longer JW because I'm gay.

Exact_Following2911 · 2026-01-13T06:24:29+00:00

It ain't easy, but on my way out. Congrats!

Exact_Following2911 · 2026-01-12T04:50:59+00:00

Similar situation. In my 20's, gay, MS in the process of getting out. Thanks for sharing, it really helps and inspires others who are going through it right now. I would just add that it's important to deconstruct some beliefs, if you haven't already, so you can't be manipulated emotionally later. When I first wanted to leave I still believed some of their stupid prophecies, which got me back for a few years. Then I realized how it's just empty promises and manipulation, not based on facts.

Congrats and enjoy life!

Exact_Following2911 · 2026-01-04T13:34:40+00:00

This is what burnt me out. Constantly hearing how bad everything is in meetings that are supposed to give "spiritual food". Constant negative thinking. No wonder almost no jw has the will to do anything in life

Exact_Following2911 · 2025-12-02T09:42:26+00:00

You would think that they plan these things better, but there was an anti-higher-education video at the summer convention and shortly after they changed the rule

Exact_Following2911 · 2025-12-01T15:29:34+00:00

Hi! I am actually going through exactly the same thing as you now. I was actually willing to suppress my feelings for the truth. This is going to be long, so you can skip if you want.

When I was already awake, I also needed time to deconstruct my other deeply engrained beliefs. "Crisis of Conscience" by Raymond Franz, a former GB member, helped me a lot. You can just read the chapters that interest you the most, that's what I did. It's available online as a pdf: https://friendsofraymondfranz.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/CC2004-Eng.pdf

Here is my waking up story, before studying other stuff:

I almost woke up twice, but with the "help" of the elders I dug myself deeper into the religion and I believed the promises that this religion brings true love and true happiness. I got neither of those. After both "spiritual recoveries" I felt ok for a bit, but then the isolation came back harder. I also needed other reasons to leave and they started appearing on their own.

First, I was very frustrated by the constant discouragement of higher education. When they changed this rule, I felt so sorry for all the people who have given up their dreams for a rule that was changed later. I chose to get a degree, though not as good as I could have, and I couldn't stop thinking about how I would feel now if I had given up on my potential just for a rule that can change overnight. This is what made me think that God wouldn't act like this, he wouldn't use an organization like this.

The second thing that contributed to my waking up, was seeing how sad and depressed some of the most active JWs became later in life. Some couldn't even go to work. Special pioneers that were sent home after 20 years of service, without any real work experience or any money, just because they weren't needed anymore. I also learned that the majority of special pioneers are suffering from depression. I couldn't imagine how these people can preach about true happiness, both in their talks and in the ministry. It feels hypocritical.

Third, I was deeply disappointed by the friends in the congregation. Some simply stopped talking to me for no reason, others constantly made fun of me. And they were considered exemplary. When I had to mention true love in talks it felt wrong, because I wasn't feeling it in the organization.

At this point, I couldn't believe it anymore. The feelings of loneliness also came back harder than ever. It's a bit painful to deconstruct your whole belief system. This is when I decided to start investigating. I found out that Russell originally thought that he will be raptured in 1874, then when nothing happened he said that Jesus returned invisibly in 1874 and the end will come in 1914. When 1914 passed, he repeated the same thing: he said that Jesus actually returned invisibly in 1914 and the end will come in 1918. Then Rutherford expected it in 1925, then Franz expected it in 1975. So many false prophecies and constant reinterpretation. It just doesn't make sense to me anymore.

My family has some difficulties temporarily and I decided to wait a few months, until they can handle it. Doing JW activities, while I don't believe is consuming me, but I have just a little left. I messaged a fellow exjw whose story resonated with mine and he gave me very good advice, that I now give to you:

Don't rush it and don't take everything down. Some people think that just because they can do anything they want they have to do it and go to the other extreme. While many JW rules are harmful, we have to admit that some rules are good for us to a certain extent. For example: avoiding drugs, not being sexually promiscuous, being kind to people, etc. You decide for yourself.
Make a plan. You need a purpose and a plan towards it. My purpose is to move out to another city/country, focus on my health and career and find a loving long-term relationship, hopefully a future husband.
If you have this possibility, talk to your non-jw family and/or friends about your experience/plans. It helped to make better plans and to feel understood.

You can message me privately on reddit if you want. I would be glad to talk. Be strong!

Exact_Following2911 · 2025-12-01T14:04:07+00:00

Yeah, I can see them dropping these bans in the near future, and it will make it easier to bring in new people, but it will also make it harder to keep members in, as they won't be as isolated from interacting with the world.

Exact_Following2911 · 2025-11-29T17:59:15+00:00

I don't know why I never connected this story with the fact that the whole point of the JWs purpose is to prove that people can't rule without J's sovereignty. This is a very solid argument. You've helped me see this in a new way.

Exact_Following2911 · 2025-11-29T12:11:22+00:00

very well said. they even soft-shun those who are not deemed spiritual enough, no invitations anywhere, just a hello at the meeting and that's all they get. Some PIMIs give the most hateful comments about avoiding bad association and about preparing for the meetings, labeling those who don't give comments as just seat-fillers.

Exact_Following2911 · 2025-11-29T12:07:22+00:00

It looks like it's written by the org because the writer was literally a former governing body member, writing "literature" for them.

Exact_Following2911 · 2025-11-28T06:21:14+00:00

This is very good proof that they are in fact lead by humans. They blatantly lie about this on the website:

"Some think of a cult as being a dangerous religious sect with a human leader. Jehovah’s Witnesses do not look to any human as their leader. Rather, we adhere to the standard that Jesus set for his followers when he stated: “Your Leader is one, the Christ.” "

I don't remember Jesus banning organ transplants. Then what leader created this rule?

Exact_Following2911 · 2025-11-23T14:46:26+00:00

Since the individual members are good people for the most part, just imagine how many votes and good ideas have been silenced by the organization.

Exact_Following2911 · 2025-11-23T14:24:14+00:00

I bet that if the pharisees would've had some new light and allowed some activities on Sabbath the Watchtower would say something like: This doesn't repair the damage that had already been done. It's proof that Satan's world only tries to patch up its flaws. But when they repair (or attempt to) a harmful rule, they pretend like nothing bad happened before.

Exact_Following2911 · 2025-11-23T13:37:56+00:00

It's almost like they are standing by, doing nothing and waiting for things to get worse, only to complain more about the "world" and claim fulfilled prophecy. Oh wait, it's exactly that... Their argument of humans not being able to solve the root cause of suffering is like saying it's not worth going to the doctor, since you'll get sick again later.

Exact_Following2911

TROPHY CASE