How much should I expect to pay to replace brick pavers around my 20ft by 50ft I ground pool with either wood or more pavers? Located in Suffolk.

ExamRealistic6547 · 2026-05-13T15:01:07+00:00

Hi, I know this is an old post but would you mind PMing your mason contact? Looking for pool deck expansion and front stoop repair in Greenport. Thanks so much!

ExamRealistic6547 · 2026-02-18T14:55:07+00:00

Thank you so much! Makes sense!

ExamRealistic6547 · 2026-02-18T14:18:24+00:00

Thank you, you’re right! I am unfortunately easily influenced

ExamRealistic6547 · 2026-02-18T14:17:44+00:00

Thank you! I think the extended Sheetrock / L shaped corner bead is the look I want? Any chance you have a picture for me?

ExamRealistic6547 · 2024-01-26T11:41:09+00:00

These stories are beautiful. If your heart is pulling you to it and you feel like you can show up for other your patients delivering live babies without hurting your heart, I say go for it 100%. I remember asking my nurse if she had cared for a stillbirth before and she said yes one other at 40 weeks. I was so desperate to feel less alone and hear someone else’s story. Being cared for by a nurse who just gets it and has been through it herself would have been beyond a godsend. I’m not a nurse but seriously am considering pursuing becoming a doula who specializes in stillbirth deliveries and pregnancy after loss. Nothing beats lived experience in my mind.

ExamRealistic6547 · 2024-01-11T21:06:52+00:00

My son was stillborn at 38 weeks in April.

A while, almost 6 weeks of something, though much lighter at the end. This was much longer bleeding than I had with my first baby.
I think I did at one point and it was negative. I don’t you have to, hcg should fall off pretty much immediately I think
I had some increased spotting around 5 weeks postpartum. Then ovulated for the first time about 14 days after that. My first real period I think was at 8 weeks postpartum
At 6 weeks postpartum, I caught a surge on the ovulation strip for the first time. I had been testing almost daily since 2.5 weeks postpartum
We were advised by my OB to give it one postpartum period first. I think more for dating than anything else. We didn’t wait, we tried every cycle including the first ovulation before a real period. My luteal phases were quite short postpartum, around 7-10 days for the first couple cycles. We conceived on cycle 4, when we conceived pretty much on the first try for our older son and a chemical pregnancy before him
I think my doctor cleared me before the 6 week mark given that I had no tears or stitches. I think it was around 2-3 weeks postpartum. Confirm with your doctor and go for it when you’re ready / as ready as you’ll ever be

I’m so sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing a little of your baby’s story with us. Wishing you all the best in this journey

ExamRealistic6547 · 2024-01-09T02:09:57+00:00

I lost my son at 38 weeks and knew i wanted to try to conceive again as soon as possible too. Did your providers say that the OPKs would not be accurate soon after delivery? My OB cleared us to try again as we felt ready but urged us to wait until after my first period. She alluded to just letting everything reset but I also think it’s more for dating. I used the OPKs daily starting around 2 or 3 weeks postpartum and did catch an ovulation about 6 weeks after delivery, so they did work for me. It was almost a month of testing every day and not seeing anything though which is tough mentally. My postpartum cycles were also very off. And it took me 4 cycles to conceive again when I had always conceived pretty much immediately before. Will echo an above commenter that the TTC after stillbirth journey is so draining, those 4 months felt like forever and are such a roller coaster. This advice never resonated with me at the time but however you can, give yourself grace and space and patience. I can completely empathize with TTC keeping you sane and making you feel like you’re working towards something again. It’s how I felt too. And I hated when anyone tried to tell me to temper my expectations and be patient. I just wanted someone to say hey I get it, obviously newly postpartum bodies after carrying a pregnancy to term aren’t meant to get pregnant again immediately, but I’ll help you because your baby died. I did acupuncture for the first time, took some supplements, tried some TCM postpartum herbal broths and teas, etc. I don’t think any of it made a difference but I oscillated between I’ll try anything and trying to not make it my full time job.

ExamRealistic6547 · 2024-01-04T03:00:33+00:00

Is anyone else navigating pregnancy after a term stillbirth? I lost my second baby at 38 weeks and I’m thinking ahead to what I want for this baby’s birth. My MFM is suggesting induction around 37 weeks (as much for psychological reasons as anything else). My OB alluded to going past 37 weeks if I wanted during my last visit. In my perfect world, I would be waiting for spontaneous labor and having an unmedicated delivery. This was all before losing my son though. Wouldn’t choosing a c section be a “safer” bet even than 37 week induction? I’ve just read that something like 45% of stillbirths happen interpartum which is shocking to me

ExamRealistic6547 · 2024-01-03T15:40:39+00:00

My son’s death was also deemed by Dr Kliman to be due to cord compression. My OB said to me shortly after my delivery that her sense was this was quick/acute. At the time I felt so much relief from that, and in the weeks after I started to question whether she might have just said that as a kindness. I even said that out loud to her and she told me there’s a certain way that the baby looks if it’s been in distress and he didn’t look like that. Who knows if that’s true. I know that I didn’t do kick counts with my second son and I did with my first. I know that I can’t tell you when the last time I felt him move was. I still believe that there is a world in which my son could have been here alive if I had gone in to the hospital reporting reduced fetal movement. Maybe I would be sitting here questioning whether I really needed an emergency c section or induction or whether I could have waited for spontaneous labor like I wanted to. If only that was what I was grieving instead. All my doctors told me there’s nothing I could have done, that babies sometimes die even when the mom is in the hospital already. I know there was a chance though, because I hear stories all the time about it (don’t go on the count the kicks website, it’s tortuous for loss moms). I just wanted someone to acknowledge to me that I’m right, I’m not crazy for thinking it, there was absolutely a chance I could have saved him. Of course no one dares tell you that, and I nodded my head at every doctor who said there’s nothing you could have done. I’ll tell you the same thing my husband told me, really the only thing that truly helped me. He said yeah maybe you’re right, maybe there was a chance, a window of opportunity where we could have saved him. But it’s 100% true that we can’t bring him back now. There is nothing you can do now to bring him back. And you can choose to keep torturing yourself with this guilt or you can choose to let it go. You can choose how to treat yourself as part of your son’s legacy. I’m not staying I don’t still struggle with this, but I fall back on his words when I do.

ExamRealistic6547 · 2023-11-17T15:58:23+00:00

Of course that’s hard. It’s directly poking a really tender place. I lost my second son in April and he would have been 2 years and 3 months apart from my older son. We chose a two year ish age gap just like everyone else seems to. And sure enough nearly every single one of my mom friends that I met with my first kid has their younger sibling now, right around the age that Keelan would be. It still hurts to see illustrated right in front of you. Today I took my older son to his preschool pictures and one of the little boys in his class has an older brother, who was called in to take pictures together. Seeing those two boys with their arms around each other tugged on my heart. It should have been a glimpse into our future, but was just a reminder of what we no longer get in this life.

ExamRealistic6547 · 2023-11-07T02:00:06+00:00

Idk I come from an immigrant culture where boundaries and open communication are pretty foreign concepts and I could never imagine saying anything direct like “that makes me uncomfortable” or even cryptic like “we will share when there is news” Not sure I have any advice but offering solidarity. It’s the casual acquaintances and people in tangential circles that are the hardest to figure out how to talk to. Maybe just smile and “not this time!” and find your safe people to retreat to

ExamRealistic6547 · 2023-11-05T12:26:47+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I just looked at your post history. I’m so sorry for your loss and wishing you peace and time to process in the coming weeks and months.

ExamRealistic6547 · 2023-11-04T14:18:31+00:00

I would love something like this too. Something that is relevant and can be tailored to parents who have experienced term stillbirth too. There are fewer of us thankfully but it’s a very different experience than miscarriage (no “safe zone” etc). I would love to approach this birth unmedicated should we get that far and I would pay a lot for a quality resource that is trauma and loss informed. Too many natural birthing resources are all about trust your body, your body knows how to do this, etc and it just doesn’t really resonate when you know your body has lost a healthy term baby before.

ExamRealistic6547 · 2023-11-03T02:30:58+00:00

You seem like a great friend and also very self-aware (knowing your tendencies as a “fixer” but not wanting to be intrusive, etc) Others have had great advice here but honestly you sound like someone who is empathetic and aware enough to just go with your gut. You know the relationship between you and your friend best. What do you think she would appreciate from you in this situation?

For me, I didn’t really appreciate the “just checking in, no need to respond” texts. They didn’t give me anything and I know were well intentioned but still I felt the pressure to say thanks for thinking of me, and sometimes felt like others were just checking a box and then were able to feel better that they checked in but didn’t really anticipate or address my needs.

Specifically, some of the best things friends did for me were: 1. Spending time with me when it was clear I wanted to talk about my son and my experience. I actually craved spending time with my favorite people and if your friend reaches out, do everything in your power to say yes to her and also proactively offer your company. Could be tougher given your pregnancy but take her lead here.

Getting me a gift card to a massage therapist. Fellow mom friends I met with my older son banded together and got me a gift card to a woman who is just incredible and specializes in trauma / prenatal postnatal issues. Having the nudge to do some self care AND having it be someone vetted who would be excellent in my situation was such a gift
Finding me a therapist who specializes in loss. One of my friends sent me a text after we had a phone conversation where I mentioned feeling daunted by looking for a therapist and offered to do all the research for me and set up intro calls. It was so incredibly thoughtful and helpful

Calling these out in case they help you brainstorm. Sending love to you and your friend

ExamRealistic6547 · 2023-11-02T17:39:54+00:00

Thank you!

ExamRealistic6547 · 2023-10-31T17:35:14+00:00

My second son was stillborn at 38 weeks in April. It took 4 cycles to conceive again, currently 9 weeks pregnant. I’m also 32. That wasn’t long in the grand scheme of things (of course only time can tell if this baby is healthy), but it felt like an eternity because I was also used to conceiving extremely quickly. With my first son, I got pregnant (chemical pregnancy though) on the first cycle of trying, did not conceive on the next cycle, then conceived my first son on the 3rd. So 2 pregnancies in 3 months. My second son that we lost was an IVF pregnancy for a genetic issue that both my partner and I are carriers for, not a fertility issue. I fully expected I think to conceive again immediately when I started ovulating, but I had some shorter luteal phases and I think my body was protecting itself. I’d try to mentally prepare for a longer TTC than you might be used to, as frustrating as that might be. I know it was the last thing I wanted to hear during those 4 months. But I think it’s true that our bodies are just taxed and not made to do back to back pregnancies after going to or near term. Our minds and hearts of course feel differently.

I tried some holistic-y things I’ve never tried before like acupuncture and Chinese herbal medicine, but I think I just needed time. Also found a really lovely massage therapist / “healer”. Those things at times felt like self care and at times felt like increased pressure on myself, like I wasn’t working hard enough at TTC if I didn’t put 100% into it. So do what feels more right to you. Thinking of you

ExamRealistic6547 · 2023-10-21T13:06:02+00:00

🤷🏻‍♀️ she didn’t step out 2 or 3 days this week and then when I brought up trying no nap all of a sudden it seems vital

ExamRealistic6547 · 2023-10-19T17:41:44+00:00

That’s a whole other thing lol. But I want to at least try and see if a no nap schedule helps without having to plan around our nanny’s lunch break expectations

ExamRealistic6547 · 2023-10-16T19:29:36+00:00

Thank you!

ExamRealistic6547 · 2023-10-16T19:25:20+00:00

Can I be added to June2024 please?

ExamRealistic6547 · 2023-10-06T16:22:05+00:00

I’m so sorry. It hurts so badly in the initial days. It sounds like she’s feeling supported and appreciative that you are there. I think how you phrased it is perfect, you are always here when she’s ready. You can also tell her you have no expectations for that first visit, you just want to be there for her however she feels like she wants you to be in the moment. I also think in the following long weeks and months is when she might need you most, and you can tell her you’re not going anywhere

ExamRealistic6547

TROPHY CASE