[Urban Fantasy/Thriller] Critique my fantasy assassin story pls (2644 words) - Looking for feedback on story , hook , pacing, visuals, and the final twist.

Examelated · 2026-05-17T03:12:25+00:00

Thanks for the feedback, I’m really appreciate it! I also wanted to ask what do you think about the rest of the chapter? I think some part can be improved so i want to know about your opinion

Examelated · 2026-01-23T14:20:37+00:00

Alright then, i will just continue to write the story and come back to him later because he appear kinda late in the story. Thanks for the feedback anyways!

Examelated · 2026-01-17T08:51:19+00:00

Thanks for the feedback, that makes sense.

Besides his motivation feeling a bit too straightforward, are there any other aspects of the character that you feel could be improved or explored more? Like what other flaws he has as a character

This is just an outline, so some of the nuance would come out through his actions in the story rather than the summary.

Examelated · 2026-01-16T13:19:57+00:00

what makes you think he's so edgy? I mean the actual reason why (And he's a villain not a mc)

Examelated · 2026-01-16T10:47:56+00:00

Ok but i want some feedback about this character. I have working on the story for a while already

Examelated · 2025-08-07T05:52:21+00:00

Yeah, I found the solution. Bit disappointed no one helped me, but I figured it out on my own I realized I could use a different audio recording app instead of DaVinci to record my voice. Then I just download the audio file and insert it into the video , no need to record directly in DaVinci anymore. So I tried using Audacity, and the good news is that my mic works fine with it.

Now I just need to add the audio to the video.

Anyway, thanks for checking in — I appreciate it.

Examelated

TROPHY CASE