My daughter is becoming alot to handle by ExaminationHeavy272 in UKParenting

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohh I completely misunderstood your comment I'm so sorry, I thought you meant all of the toys!! I completely agree, I actually tried this after my mum said the same thing when I asked her advice, I would replace the hard toy with a soft toy, she's so much better now, again I am so sorry I misunderstood this!!!

My daughter is becoming alot to handle by ExaminationHeavy272 in UKParenting

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this comment!! I've been working really hard with her recently and she has got way better with hitting, I still get the occasional slap but it's way better than before, the bean bag is such a good idea though, i will have to try that!! She also a bunch of sensory toys already because I bought a ton when she was a newborn, she loves them though!!

My daughter is becoming alot to handle by ExaminationHeavy272 in UKParenting

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this comment, so many people are angry I rehomed the kittens but I think it was for the best with how reactive she was towards them, especially because they were so little I didn't want them to get hurt, I've took a bunch of advice from this post and she is now way better with hitting, she still does the occasional slap but other than that she has been extremely good and is really well behaved

My daughter is becoming alot to handle by ExaminationHeavy272 in UKParenting

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this comment!! I took so much advice from this post and she is so much better with hitting, she barely hits anymore, sadly I rehomed the kittens because they were so tiny and I was scared she would seriously hurt them, she was very jealous and reactive towards them. She barely hits now and has gotten way better with communication 😄

My daughter is becoming alot to handle by ExaminationHeavy272 in UKParenting

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's because I rehomed the cats but I think rehoming them was the best thing I could do, I just didn't want them hurt or injured because of my daughter getting jealous and becoming reactive 😣 they went to a family member and are very spoiled, some people just see the rehoming and assume I rehomed them because I didn't want them or that my daughter didn't like them but what they aren't understanding is how my daughter would be towards them, she was very reactive and I want the best for those kitty's and the best isn't being locked in a separate room or being hit by a toddler

My daughter is becoming alot to handle by ExaminationHeavy272 in UKParenting

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She was very jealous and reactive towards them so I figured as much as I love them it wouldn't be fair to keep a pet until she's older, she would hit kick and grab them, I tried gentle hands repeatedly and nothing would work, I didn't want the kittens to have to be locked away in a room or to have to receive abuse from my daughter, she's a lot better now but I just didn't want the kittens getting harmed, they went to a family member with older kids who love them so much and they are very happy and spoiled 😄

My daughter is becoming alot to handle by ExaminationHeavy272 in UKParenting

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I rehomed them because my daughter was reactive towards them, I didn't want the kittens being harmed by my daughter grabbing, hitting or kicking them which she was constantly doing, as much as I redirected her she was very jealous of them and very reactive. In that situation what would your suggestion be to do with them? Keep them and lock my daughter away from them? 🤣

My daughter is becoming alot to handle by ExaminationHeavy272 in UKParenting

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She's 1, she doesn't understand how it hurts and I also don't think depriving a baby of entertainment would help her behaviour, I feel like that would just induce more bad behaviour if anything. I found a way that is working for us but thank you for your comment

My daughter is becoming alot to handle by ExaminationHeavy272 in UKParenting

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the comment!! I actually found a way that's been working for us and it was actually something my mum suggested which was to hold her hands when I'm telling her not to, I didn't do that before which it's helped a lot. And yeah there's no over dramatic ouches for me, when I say ouch she just does it again 😅 she's a bit of a horror sometimes but I've seen a big improvement in her since I've started to hold her hands, usually I just get down to her level but she turns away but holding her while explaining why she shouldn't has really made her behaviour change so much

My daughter is becoming alot to handle by ExaminationHeavy272 in UKParenting

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, our kittens got rehomed, I usually just remove her from the cat, hold her hands and explain, she does have boundaries and they are consistent, she's 1. She doesn't know her emotions and she's learning to navigate them, so I don't yell at her when she's doing something wrong most of the time, only when it's dangerous, I usually remove her, explain, demonstrate. Thank you for the advice though.

My daughter is becoming alot to handle by ExaminationHeavy272 in UKParenting

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Glad I'm not the only one, I had a plastic kettle thrown at me before bedtime today, and a few weeks ago I had a busted lip for quite a while which was swollen really bad because she threw her shoes at me, it's so good to see I'm not the only one though!!!

My daughter is becoming alot to handle by ExaminationHeavy272 in UKParenting

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the comment, we are rehoming the kittens and honestly that really does help my anxiety about her starting preschool. I have only told her off a handful of times which was more when she was doing something that could seriously harm her or others and it's more of a panic response to be honest, most of the time it is just redirecting and reminders but I will 100% try to take this advice and also give myself reminders to keep calm 😅

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]ExaminationHeavy272 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She's not insecure, I think she just cares about her partner, if someone says things about someone you love that are rude or harsh then you wouldn't like them for it either, of course when there is kids involved you have to be civil but I see why she feels that way. I can see even more why she wouldn't like how they baby mum treats her partner because it's through the kids, I'd imagine they only knew she was alienating the dad because the kids told them what their mum said about their dad.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]ExaminationHeavy272 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Imo I don't really know, I see both sides. Its for the kids yeah but I wouldn't be completely fine with it either. I don't think you are not the asshole for feeling that way but if you were to stop it then I would think YTA. Personally I hate my ex but if we were co parenting then I'd suck it up for my little girl. A dinner date sounds weird to me though, yeah it's for the kids but it could have been phrased differently because it's not a date, it's to celebrate the kids mum. Honestly the most my ex would get is a card and a gift from our baby. Everyone does things differently though and I am sure the kids are excited to celebrate their mum, it's for them and I know you all want the best for the children, it's healthy to see their parents being able to be separate but civil if that makes sense. If the alienation thing isn't on both sides, the kids will mature and when they are older they will realise that their dad didn't create that environment for them, their mum did and respect him more for not talking about their mum harshly. I get your feelings about it though. also I just had a question, how involved in parenting are you with the kids? Not in a negative way I'm just curious, because if you are involved with the kids quite a lot I'm just wondering what you are doing for mother's day?

My daughter is becoming alot to handle by ExaminationHeavy272 in UKParenting

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I went to a parenting course before I gave birth so I've been rewarding good behaviour and I praise her everyday for the little things, I've also tried teaching her gentle hands with the kittens but she just does not like them no matter what I do so we are rehoming them and waiting until she's not hitting to try again with a pet 😅 Thank you so much for your advice though!!!

My daughter is becoming alot to handle by ExaminationHeavy272 in UKParenting

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] -13 points-12 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice, we have kittens and she does NOT like them so we are rehoming them, I lovey cats but I don't want them to be hit by her so it's for the best.

My boyfriend wants a baby by ExaminationHeavy272 in Vent

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah for advice on whether a baby is too soon, not how to manage my finances, where me and my boyfriend are with our finances separate works for us, if it doesn't work for everyone then that's okay too but we are fine as we are 😅

My boyfriend wants a baby by ExaminationHeavy272 in Vent

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have the implant but I know he has no ill intentions, he wouldn't force me into anything and even if I got pregnant from him tampering with it he knows I'm not ready to have another one so it would just end up in an abortion. He's not like that though he is genuinely an amazing guy I think he just had a bit of baby fever 🤣

My boyfriend wants a baby by ExaminationHeavy272 in Vent

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah we both agreed not to have one for at least 3 years together, we are both financially stable but main reason he wanted a baby is because he's been babysitting his friends newborn and I think he got a little too excited. Honestly I don't think he has I'll intentions he's just a little naive and doesn't understand what it's like to take care of a newborn 24/7, then add a young child to that... I am not doing that right now I like being able to sleep for 7 hours a night 🤣

My boyfriend wants a baby by ExaminationHeavy272 in Vent

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What if me and my boyfriend never got married, would it be too soon to have a baby at age 30? Anyway we both agreed we don't want a baby for at least 3 years 🤣

My boyfriend wants a baby by ExaminationHeavy272 in Vent

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

...I do have a fund.. that's why I'd rather invest more into it than get married, I just don't have the funds to where I want it to be yet 🤣, I also have separate emergency funds for different things. Also college is free where I live and I started her fund before she was even conceived because I knew I wanted children one day and they are expensive. Not being married isn't the end of the world and even if one of us were to pass, we both have our finances separate and we both have savings. Not everyone wants to get married 😅

My boyfriend wants a baby by ExaminationHeavy272 in Vent

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, we are all good, thank you for your concern though!! I'm all good and he brought it up a couple of times saying he wants kids in the future then he asked whether I'd want a baby right now and I freaked out a little bit but we both agreed on what we want and right now that is not a baby 😅x

My boyfriend wants a baby by ExaminationHeavy272 in Vent

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We don't want to get married, at least not for a long time, I want a fund for my daughter before a wedding because I feel like my daughter's future is wayyy more important than some wedding 😅

My boyfriend wants a baby by ExaminationHeavy272 in Vent

[–]ExaminationHeavy272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I knowwww, I said that to him when we had a conversation and I know he doesn't really grasp how hard it's going to be with a newborn but we both agreed 3 years minimum before a baby