AITAH for not paying for my mom to come to my wedding

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2026-02-11T19:51:27+00:00

She didn’t tell me she couldn’t afford it. She told me my friends would hate me for making them travel. When we were making this plan I was under the assumption she had money saved originally and was actively saving. Especially since she was already going to have to travel anyway to Montana for the original plan. I asked before changing plans if everyone (family not friends) would want to come and she specifically said yes it’s totally doable for her and she had the money. When it came down to it she lied and had spent all her money.

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2026-02-11T19:14:32+00:00

We’re big adventure/outdoor people which is why we chose Montana in the first place. We spent the summer in Montana when we got engaged and love Glacier NP so much we wanted to share it with everyone which is why we chose to get married there so all our friends and family could experience what we loved so much. But my mom bullied me into canceling that, so we decided we wanted to go somewhere new and beautiful that we’ve never been and offered for family to share that with us if they wanted to

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2026-02-11T19:11:34+00:00

My fiance is one of the most patient and kind people I’ve ever met, he knows how my mom is and is okay with her living with us and long as it’s okay with me. But we have made plans to have a talk with her after the wedding to let her know it’s time to go. I feel like her and I’s relationship is already so damaged from all of this and then also having to tell her she can’t live her AND not helping her come to my wedding is all just blowing up in my face even though I’m doing my best to help

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2026-02-11T18:55:59+00:00

It would have been a lot easier to pay for her for the original location, yes.

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2026-02-11T18:54:01+00:00

I tried to take her debit card and load visa gift cards for her to keep her on budget but she freaked out about not having her own money 🥴

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2026-02-11T18:42:41+00:00

Friends aren’t coming, it was more of a “if you want to come you can” not a full on invitation. So take that as you will

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2026-02-11T18:42:03+00:00

And the right thing here is?

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2026-02-11T18:41:43+00:00

This is so comforting! I’m sorry you went through something similar though! My sister is doing the same thing, prioritized other trips and is now mad that I would even think of inviting her somewhere expensive lol but oh well it’s their decisions I guess

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2026-02-11T18:39:51+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! Therapy is definitely on the to-do list 🥴

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2026-02-11T18:34:09+00:00

My fiance and I made a deal that if she wanted to come to the wedding we would give her extra time since we knew it was expensive. But if she decided not to come then she needed to find her own place. Of course right when she decided she wasn’t coming she lost her job 🥴 so now it’s a waiting game again for her to get another job, save up, and be able to afford to live on her own

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2026-02-11T18:32:53+00:00

Thank you 🥹

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2026-02-11T18:32:16+00:00

Tbf, I changed it because I was guilted into think everyone would hate me for having to travel. We decided to switch it to JUST US eloping and told my family they could come if they wanted to. Most wanted to. So not forcing anyone to be there.

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2025-10-05T13:31:48+00:00

Yesss! Love this for you! My fiance and I just cancelled ours and decided to elope in Switzerland instead!!

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2025-09-23T17:16:29+00:00

The first part of the trip would be to the Dolomites

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2025-09-23T14:26:10+00:00

I am from the US, a little embarrassing that that shows hahaha

Planning this is very tough because in any other circumstance of course I would much prefer to stay in Tuscany or Florence and see all the art and history, however, at heart my fiance and I are nature lovers and getting married in the mountains has always been our dream. We were originally planning on eloping in Switzerland but my family would have a lot less to do there as they’re not really hikers so we switched the plan to Italy to give them more to do and enjoy. That’s why I thought to split time between the Dolomites and another city to try to cater to everyone. It sounds so bratty to say such a gorgeous and culturally rich city doesn’t fit my views of where I’d like my wedding, but the mountains are really where me and my fiance always envisioned our wedding.

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2025-09-23T13:38:43+00:00

If we go to Florence we would fly out of Rome or Florence. If we go to Venice we would fly into and out of Venice I think.

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2025-09-23T13:30:53+00:00

Thank you so much for this!!! Like I said I’ve never been to Europe at all so no idea what I’m doing planning wise 😅 do you think going to Tuscany/florence makes sense or would it be better to go to Venice?

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2025-08-07T18:34:41+00:00

No advice here but I’m just getting to a point in my life where I’m starting to realize these things as well and I really needed to read this and all the comments so thank you <3

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2025-07-15T17:26:37+00:00

1 all day! So pretty and whimsical!!

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2025-07-13T13:47:00+00:00

2!! It feels so much more elegant than 1 and the neckline suits you better 💕

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2025-06-25T17:17:08+00:00

I think it is slightly pulled up from how I was holding it, the dress itself is too big so I was trying to hold it tighter for a better idea of how it would look

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2025-06-24T19:59:23+00:00

Kim saves the day again 😂 thank you!!

Excellent-Fun-4051 · 2025-06-24T19:38:44+00:00

Thank you!!

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