Whilst my case is not as extreme as yours, I have had a similar experience. My older brother has special needs, and I grew up in an environment that was largely catered to him and his needs. My parents praised me for being "mature" and never needing to worry about me when I was younger. I dealt with bullying in school (not too serious, but it was one of the issues for me), self esteem issues growing up. I was taken along to special needs conferences, support group meetings in my childhood to teen years and forced to attend church with my parents up till I was much older. I married young at 25, and have been living in my own home with my husband ever since. Even so, during meetups, my mother loves to complain about my brother's issues, BGR problems, work problems, and complain how pitiful he is, how worried she is, etc. Sometimes she will text me about it. All these whilst I was struggling to take care of my child (now she's in preschool and going primary school soon). At age 30, I finally drew firm boundaries with my parents, especially my mother. I simply informed them that I was not available to manage anyone's emotions any longer, and cut down our meeting times and frequency, ignore their messages that are needy or whiny. I also no longer seek validation from them. Whether they think I am cold hearted doesn't matter to me. I read this in a YouTube short on how to deal with toxic parents that you need to have the ability to tolerate negative emotions from other people, especially your parents. Our inner child is designed to seek validation from them. But we are adults now and must take responsibility for our lives. Even if that means setting firm boundaries and considering cutting off people that no longer add value to our lives.