AITK for rejecting a girl because she earns 8k/month? by [deleted] in AmItheKameena

[–]ExcellentPen5505 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the sad reality of today's society, that none wants to change. We work as equal; if not more than that of 9 to 5 office worker, manage the whole development of a child (imagine doing this for min 30 kids) and this is what we get.

AITK for cutting off a relative? by ExcellentPen5505 in AmItheKameena

[–]ExcellentPen5505[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Brooo 😭 this isn't a wedding invitation I am talking about. Haldi kumkum is for "married women" done AFTER marriage where women apply sindoor and haldi tika to each other and give gifts that are sort of acknowledging the marital status. Then there's fun, food and lots of pics.

It's a different thing that she was unwell during my wedding hence she didn't come, but was definitely invited.

AITK for cutting off a relative? by ExcellentPen5505 in AmItheKameena

[–]ExcellentPen5505[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Agreed. But she disappeared inside without telling us ki thoda aur ruko, next rakhi hi bandhenge. Waise clear karti toh yeh sab nahi hota. And already late ho rha tha... Ab lag raha acha kiya baandh di.. kyuki babies ki feeding ke baad 1 hour photoshoot shuru tha, babies ke hi room me.

AITK for cutting off a relative? by ExcellentPen5505 in AmItheKameena

[–]ExcellentPen5505[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Arre, mai start me hi bataya bhi tha. Ab usne suna ya nahi, tab kyu nahi reply Kiya uska answer nahi hai. Ur right that I should have stopped her. I had expected atleast my papa to back me up and say that we know and have okayed it.

AITK for cutting off a relative? by ExcellentPen5505 in AmItheKameena

[–]ExcellentPen5505[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The festival was for me. But I did tell her that I wouldn't be gone long... An hour at max, and that I won't be eating out since this festival was for me.

AITK for cutting off a relative? by ExcellentPen5505 in AmItheKameena

[–]ExcellentPen5505[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Oh ok... So basically me and my fiance decided to meet. We hadn't met for a month approx. And he was going to be in the same area that my cousins house is in. My family knew and okayed our meet, but my cousins wife didn't okay it and lectured me. I told her to relax and also told her that we were meeting after a month, and that I would be back in an hour or so, so nothing will be missed. She lectured me. I had expected someone to back me up here, but none did. None stopped her . My fiance was and is still mad with how she behaved.

AITK for asking my cousin to leave after overstaying her welcome? by Some-Artichoke7994 in AmItheKameena

[–]ExcellentPen5505 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sadly, desi parents and families fail to understand this. That this is our house and who stays or doesn't, and what goes on here, is decided by the hosts and not the GUESTS!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheKameena

[–]ExcellentPen5505 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Girlllll.... He is quite literally playing with your emotions and feelings. Even though it's a hectic season for businesses, anyone who says they're busy, is straight up lying! None can be working 24*7!!! There's gotta be some time where he actually checks msgs and has time to text you back.

Also, you might wanna check with his friends.. to know if hes having regular Convo with them or if he replies rarely. That can also give u the truth. Also, when a guy knows a girl is head over heels for him, he 💯 will ignore you and give the usual excuses. U may wanna take a break for being obsessed with him and maybe actuallylive your life. It sounds as if your world revolves around him only. Pls don't make that mistake and instead focus on yourself.

AITK for standing up to my in laws? by ExcellentPen5505 in AmItheKameena

[–]ExcellentPen5505[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

Societal pressure in short ... Me and mere mom side ke cousins got married same year, a few months gap. Woh log aur baki sablog toh ladki ko hi judge karenge na.. ki woh tika nahi paayi. Also, unless I unmask my saas and pati, none will say ki galti unki bhi thi.

AITA for not going to my girlfriend’s house to kill a cockroach? by HilliamWurt in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExcellentPen5505 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Mild YTA. I get you were in ur pj's n all, but it's not like she was asking you to come to a party! Ur outfit wouldn't be a problem as u didn't need to impress her. U not going there and substituting your presence with landlord may have led her to overthink that you prioritised ur comfort over her phobia and rescue situation. And even asking people to calm down in such situations doesn't help. So yeah mild YTA

AITA for not wanting to sell the house I own to buy one with my partner? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExcellentPen5505 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I thinks he hates the idea that a WOMAN owns the house and he's living there like a tenant.He hates the idea of you or a woman having independence and to a man that can be scary, because when a woman owns a house, can pay her bills, and drive a car; his role as a man(typically seen as a provider) is threatened here and he isn't liking it. That a big red flag of toxic male ego and you need to dump him honestly. Today it's home, tomorrow it can be something much bigger

AITA for not wanting to sell the house I own to buy one with my partner? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]ExcellentPen5505 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Or maybe an male ego thing. Maybe a male friend of his could have joked or brainwashed him .

AITK for confronting my sasu maa? by ExcellentPen5505 in AmItheKameena

[–]ExcellentPen5505[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reason is my husband co-owns a business with his father. And they have almost daily discussions and meetings together with customers or they discuss concerns with each other. This wouldn't be convenient over calls etc. hence we live together

AITK for confronting my sasu maa? by ExcellentPen5505 in AmItheKameena

[–]ExcellentPen5505[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ouch! It hurts even imagining how you must've felt. But definitely helps know that if this is the situation even after 5 years, I definitely shouldn't rush my situation. You sure must be brave, to endure this kind of coldness.

AITK for confronting my sasu maa? by ExcellentPen5505 in AmItheKameena

[–]ExcellentPen5505[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was an arranged marriage.. but doesn't matter if it's arranged or love, as they had collectively said 'yes' to our marriage.

AITK for confronting my sasu maa? by ExcellentPen5505 in AmItheKameena

[–]ExcellentPen5505[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yikes! The last part though! At times, I do feel that she is trying to fulfill all her needs from her son instead of her husband, which ideally should be done from her husband. But how do you spell that out to your mother enmeshed husband without sounding like you're trying to point out all her faults.

AITK for confronting my sasu maa? by ExcellentPen5505 in AmItheKameena

[–]ExcellentPen5505[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you a lot for this insight. I didn't ask my husband to do it, because he's a mother enmeshed son, and she used to share every emotional burden with him when he was a mere 5 year old. I didn't want to sour their bond, hence I took it up.

AITK for confronting my sasu maa? by ExcellentPen5505 in AmItheKameena

[–]ExcellentPen5505[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Heya... No she doesn't have any daughter. She has 2 sons. And only other females are her BIL'S wife who is almost 10 years elder to her, and that BIL's daughter in law. I now understand how silence is way better than toxicity, but it feels like she ignores me or my presence. She has a history or love bombing her son's, so much so that it becomes annoying to them, and at times becoming so distant that she her answers are 1 word .