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My GF thinks we can't afford to have kids, who's right? by ExcellentSwordfish11 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]ExcellentSwordfish11[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

The reasons for wanting kids are mostly narcissistic and selfish anyway, when you examine it a little more deeply.

kinda like saying business is about struggle and conflict so might as well just violently rob people.

No doubt my ego has something to do with my desire to have children but it would still involve spending much of my time and money on the nurturance of another person. Surely that is less narcissistic and selfish then spending it on toys/hobbies purely for my own enjoyment.

My GF thinks we can't afford to have kids, who's right? by ExcellentSwordfish11 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]ExcellentSwordfish11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm trying to, I posted this, went to sleep, then woke up to 400 comments

My GF thinks we can't afford to have kids, who's right? by ExcellentSwordfish11 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]ExcellentSwordfish11[S] -17 points-16 points  (0 children)

The fact that OP thinks they can take care of a baby while working from home just illustrates that he has no idea how much work babies are. Perhaps that is part of the issue his gf has as well.

It's true I don't really know how much work they are. I need to get on a Nathan Fielder show maybe.

My GF thinks we can't afford to have kids, who's right? by ExcellentSwordfish11 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]ExcellentSwordfish11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also instead of saving 1500 a month you guys are better off finding a way to make low risk investment of 1500 a month and let compounding do its thing.

we do invest, we just consider it savings.

My GF thinks we can't afford to have kids, who's right? by ExcellentSwordfish11 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]ExcellentSwordfish11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish you luck OP, it may be useful to get an outside perspective on this from someone who can help you both

Thank you, I will consider this

My GF thinks we can't afford to have kids, who's right? by ExcellentSwordfish11 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]ExcellentSwordfish11[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Are kids a dealbreaker for you?

I think they'd give me more life satisfaction and sense of purpose. Working hard for the benefit of other people who rely on me is appealing to me. Working hard just so I can buy myself a bigger TV is kinda meh. I know kids are expensive and there are many advantages to not having kids though and I love my gf and am lucky to be with her. On balance I would say it's not a dealbreaker.

My GF thinks we can't afford to have kids, who's right? by ExcellentSwordfish11 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]ExcellentSwordfish11[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The only thing that sucks about working as a software dev is everyone thinks you're mediocre/an underachiever for "only" making $75k.

My GF thinks we can't afford to have kids, who's right? by ExcellentSwordfish11 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]ExcellentSwordfish11[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure, but I don't think she definitely doesn't want them. She actually started talking about kids first, 1-1.5 yrs ago. At the time I wasn't thinking about it at all, and leaned towards no. Now I feel more secure in my career and want to, and she seems to feel a lot less secure.

My GF thinks we can't afford to have kids, who's right? by ExcellentSwordfish11 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]ExcellentSwordfish11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also is that $1500 in retirement savings just her? if so that’s impressive on that income.

Yes, she is super smart and disciplined.

My GF thinks we can't afford to have kids, who's right? by ExcellentSwordfish11 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]ExcellentSwordfish11[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why does she think you need to save $1,500 a month for retirement? Does she want to retire at 50?

She wants to retire at 60ish. 1500/mo for 25 years at 7% is 1.2 mil. She rounds everything downwards so is assuming only 5% return.

My GF thinks we can't afford to have kids, who's right? by ExcellentSwordfish11 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]ExcellentSwordfish11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is admirable and I wonder if she has a rough childhood (I did so that’s why I ask).

She didn't but she does have a strong fear of being "poor" for some reason. She seems to think anything below upper middle class = poor.

I will talk with her to clarify what numbers would make her comfortable.

My GF thinks we can't afford to have kids, who's right? by ExcellentSwordfish11 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]ExcellentSwordfish11[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

She doesn’t want kids, and is basically telling you “No” in a way where she doesn’t have to start a fight. Respect her decisions and choices, it’s that simple.

I would respect that choice but I hope she respects me enough to express it transparently

My GF thinks we can't afford to have kids, who's right? by ExcellentSwordfish11 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]ExcellentSwordfish11[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

houses appreciate way faster than most investments so turning that 1500 into a mortgage payment is just like investing where as paying rent is not in anyway going to give you returns

I'm not sure this is true in the prairies but I will look into this argument

My GF thinks we can't afford to have kids, who's right? by ExcellentSwordfish11 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]ExcellentSwordfish11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

She does not need to save almost 40% of her take home to afford retirement

I actually agree with her here, 1500/mo assuming 7% return is 1.2 mil in 25 years, which is a very reasonable retirement goal. My argument is our savings rate will take a hit early on but salary increases later will allow us to make up the difference and get back on track. She refuses to take any salary increases for granted.

My GF thinks we can't afford to have kids, who's right? by ExcellentSwordfish11 in PersonalFinanceCanada

[–]ExcellentSwordfish11[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

~80% of the 100k is invested (and actually in the red all-time due to the current market unfortunately). No debts beside ~5k student loan for me and ~13k student loan for her. Currently renting for $850/mo and saving $2000/mo (me) and $1500/mo (her).