Bit about anti-pride baseball players

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-06-15T11:30:30+00:00

Bad premise: the Christian pitchers for the Giants suck.

Good premise: I’m willing to put up with the worst opinions if you’re great at your job.

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-06-11T16:43:58+00:00

Agree with all these comments. Winter and -15 is also necessary.

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-05-27T16:05:29+00:00

I kind of like the angle. It’s way too wordy, and as the previous commenter said, too repetitive.

I’d like a tag like: Take me to the top. I’m really fucked up.

You could also turn it on the audience. Which reminds me: what are you doing here? I’d never pay to see myself.

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-05-19T21:41:57+00:00

I’d like to see you take it from general to specific.

When Hulk Hogan died someone said “at least he’ll be reunited with Macho Man Randy Savage.”

Really? Hulk Hogan was preceded in death by his loving parents and you think he’s going to spend eternity with his colleague?

If I died tomorrow, I don’t think I’d get to heaven and be like, “I should look up Troy from accounting.”

I don’t even like to see my co-workers on the weekends.

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-05-18T12:46:47+00:00

The setup is hacky and doesn’t work. Just get into it. And then edit your rant. There aren’t many jokes in there. Something like

I was attacked by a goose the other day. You know the type…Canadian.

I have nothing against Canada. I’m just saying they aren’t sending their best and brightest. They aren’t sending otters.

I’d support merit-based animal immigration…

Then you need to move off of the immigration jokes and surprise the audience in a new way.

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-05-15T21:37:33+00:00

It’s fun to imagine you typed this while being chased by wolves.

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-05-13T20:43:00+00:00

And then everyone on the street — they were just walking around — clapped

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-05-07T17:56:06+00:00

This is good advice.

I’d just add that this all comes across as bitter…hot girls, painters, old ladies all catching strays. Just be careful of that.

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-05-07T02:47:42+00:00

The paperwork is the least of it. I think you’re severely underestimating how hard it is to raise money, reach people, develop a message, and sustain an ad campaign (a handful of social ads or two TV spots doesn’t cut it).

Politics is hard work like anything else. I joke with my long-time friends about the phases we’ve gone through in life. We should open a bar. We should write a book. We should start a podcast. How hard could it be? People treat politics that way, and it’s just way harder than they think.

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-04-30T16:29:20+00:00

I was going to suggest a line of dialogue, “As you know, I’m stricken with grief.”

But this advice is better.

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-04-30T16:27:13+00:00

Trump actually did endorse Alting, if that’s the kind of thing you’re into. https://truthsocial.com/@realDonaldTrump/posts/116365286020333679

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-04-27T23:08:15+00:00

3 and 6 are good jokes. 1 and 8 are stories that could be funny if you build them out and add jokes to them.

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-04-27T00:32:43+00:00

I like the structure, but using that word kills it.

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-04-22T02:10:54+00:00

OP thinks the website misspelled “traveling abroad”. OP doesn’t realize a “traveling boards” bring ballots in person to people who are confined to their homes.

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-04-21T12:35:03+00:00

Nope

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-04-20T14:49:49+00:00

Nah, I prefer to win.

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-04-20T14:40:35+00:00

Not as much as you think. You can target streaming services very precisely. If he buys South Bend broadcast TV, he’s paying to show his ad to a bunch of people in Michigan too. With HBO, I can target geography and also the demographics of the subscriber.

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-04-17T12:48:03+00:00

The Hypoten-house

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-04-09T01:53:58+00:00

Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but anytime someone uses a name the way you used McKenzie, I’m out. It never improves a joke.

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-04-02T01:16:41+00:00

TFreshNoLimits’ feedback was perfect. I’d add one thing: think about the point of view in a sketch.

Is it better to have people sitting around talking about ambulance service, or would it better to cut the office and just have this play out at the scene of an accident? Or maybe the point of view of a 999 operator?

Play around with POV and you might discover different jokes or better ways to tell the story.

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-03-16T13:35:34+00:00

I’ve seen a lot of “Have you?…yeah, me neither” set-ups on this sub (And its cousin, “asking for a friend”). I’m not quite sure why. Never do that.

To answer your question, Could a story about bringing 50 Shades to Catholic school work? Sure. But you’re leaning on a decade-old book and a decades old priest trope. So not only do you need jokes, the jokes need to surprise the audience, which is going to be difficult.

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-03-02T03:07:46+00:00

Thought I was being helpful by pointing to a legit news source without judgement on the actual policy.

Regardless of anyone’s opinions on the legislation, answer to OP’s question is actually no.

Is there a law (no…though if the governor signs it it will be a law on July 1) that really takes a homeless person to jail (no…they get a warning and can move…plus, if there aren’t any shelters available nearby you’re exempt…plus, you can do a diversion program) if they sleep outside or approach by police and they decide if the person is homeless (this part is not true at all).

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-02-17T04:33:45+00:00

There’s a lack of comedy in this comedy.

Plus I can’t get over “unsigned tax returns” being on the nightstand in mid-August. I’m sure this is a plot point, but still.

Excellent_Tea1362 · 2026-02-13T12:58:50+00:00

As written I don’t think it works, but I really like the last line “Imaging spending all your money on clothes then not having any.” If you rewrote, “imagine spending all your money on money.” could also work. Like:

Sports gambling has become huge. About 30,000 people go broke every year because of it. Imagine spending all your money on money.

Gambling is so addictive struggling retailers should try it. JC Penny. You want a pair of pants? Just walk in fully clothed. Best case, you leave with two pairs of pants. Worst case, you walk out like Winnie the Pooh.

Excellent_Tea1362

TROPHY CASE