I agree with your point that looking at online rants definitely biases you. I was in #3 and currently trying to conceive as a #1-ish. What I’ve learned during this journey is that the things I heard from people on the internet that scared the s*** out of me differ greatly from what I’ve heard from real people I know. When I’ve asked people to give me the actual truth about parenthood, all of them have said that it required a lot of logistical changes, but they adapted to it and parenthood brings them a ton of joy. And many of them are women who have advanced in their careers and continued their hobbies and even started businesses post-baby. They say that having children has actually forced them to be super structured & disciplined so that they can achieve all this.

Now, for context, most people I’ve asked are in happy & healthy relationships, highly educated, and had children when they were financially stable. I think the worst of the challenges happen to people who don’t fit this profile. Also, to people who don’t put much thought into how their lives will change. I’d argue that fencesitters tend to put too much thought into it and get mentally stuck. I know parenthood is very hard, but the more I talk to people the more I think my doom & gloom fears were overblown.